The moment these words escaped her lips, Baiken sheathed her katana, producing an audible CLICK. In tandem with this, his chest had split open, causing blood to gush out from its new gash. Although he wasn’t aware of it, Baiken had chosen to hold back at the last second, leaving the hybrid with a wound that- while painful- would only injure him, rather than kill. That didn’t make it hurt any less, though! The pain of this injury, when combined with his drained stamina and the blood loss from his previous wounds, had ensured that this fight was over. Gohan’s vision faded to black, and with no fight left in him, he collapsed onto his knees.
As she heard the THUNK of Gohan’s unconscious body hitting the ground, Baiken sat down, keeping both of her legs crossed. She then reached into her pocket, unveiling a small wooden pipe, and quickly lit it. Placing it against her lips, the samurai inhaled for a brief moment, savoring the taste of tobacco on her tongue, and then exhaled a puff of smoke.
“You did a pretty good job, kid. It’s been a long time since I had someone push me to my limits like that. If you keep up what you’re doing, you may even beat me the next time we meet.”
Once these words had left her lips, Baiken pushed herself back to her feet and began walking off, ready to continue exploring this new world and- hopefully– find a way home.
The moment these words escaped her lips, Baiken sheathed her katana, producing an audible CLICK. As this sound reached his ears, a sickening tearing sound rang throughout the street, courtesy of an enormous gash that had appeared on his chest. Blood gushed out of the wound, but he wouldn’t even have the chance to realize this. His eyes had already rolled into the back of his head, and his body soon fell onto its knees. A slick, wet noise then echoed through Baiken’s ears as part of Gohan’s body slid off, starting at the collar and exiting between his ribs.
Once the bifurcated corpse had hit the ground, landing with a wet THUNK, Baiken sat down, keeping both of her legs crossed. She then reached into her pocket, unveiling a small wooden pipe, and quickly lit it. Placing it against her lips, the samurai inhaled for a brief moment, savoring the taste of tobacco on her tongue, and then exhaled a puff of smoke.
“You did a pretty good job, kid. It’s been a long time since I had someone push me to my limits like that. Wherever you end up, I hope I’ll meet you there when my time comes.”
Once these words had left her lips, Baiken pushed herself back to her feet and began walking off, ready to continue exploring this new world and- hopefully– find a way home.
Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all! It’s time for a Death Battle!
——————————————————
European Forest, December 2187
“Dammit! Hold still!” A rough, feminine voice demanded as a katana flew through the air. Its target, a woman in a shoulderless red jacket and witch hat, only responded with a wry grin as she leapt back.
“Come on! What fun would there be if I did that?” The red-clad woman, I-No, taunted as she avoided another strike. Before her opponent could attempt a third swing, the red witch strummed her cyan guitar, producing a massive sound wave that knocked her attacker back. “If you really wanna stick that blade in me, you’re gonna have to work for it! Besides, you could at least try to get me in the mood first. I mean, would it kill you to at least try some foreplay?”
“Shut up!” Her attacker demanded while getting back up. This woman, Baiken, shot I-No a furious glare. “I don’t give a damn how you feel about this! Like it or not, you’re going to tell me where he is.”
“‘He?’” I-No smirked. “Do you wanna be a bit more specific? Just saying ‘he’ doesn’t give me much to work with.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit! You know who I mean! Your boss, That Man!” Upon hearing her employer’s name, I-No’s smirk morphed into a disgusted grimace.
“Ugh! Can you please not bring him up?” She asked in annoyance. “I know you probably haven’t been keeping up, but I don’t work for that asshole anymore. If you wanna know where he is, go bother someone else!”
As she finished speaking, I-No strummed her guitar once again, causing a portal to appear behind her.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I believe our little meeting has reached its conclusion.” She said as she leapt into the portal. Just before it could close, however-
“You aren’t getting away that easily!” Baiken shouted as she leapt into the portal, entering just a few milliseconds before it closed. Not even a second later, the samurai felt her feet hit the ground.
“You’re quite a persistent little bitch, aren’t you?” Upon hearing the sound of I-No’s voice, Baiken immediately lunged forward, but her attempted attack was cut short as another strum forced her halfway across the terrain. “You wanna follow me so badly? Then I hope you enjoy your time here! Ciao!”
As Baiken recovered from the attack, she immediately noticed I-No leaping into another portal.
“Get back here!” Baiken demanded as she thrust her empty sleeve forward, shooting out a grappling claw. The claw flew toward I-No at top speed, but it was too late. By the time it had approached her vicinity, I-No’s portal had already closed behind her, leaving the weapon to embed itself in a nearby building.
“Shit!” Baiken swore as she retracted her claw. With her only means of escape gone, the samurai began looking at her surroundings. From what she could tell, she was in some sort of city, though it seemed to have been after some sort of apocalypse. Multiple buildings had been reduced to rubble, while dozens of vehicles lay in disrepair. The corpses of numerous men, women, and children coated the streets, causing Baiken to tighten her grip on her katana. Just where the hell had that witch sent her?
BOOOOOOM!
An explosion suddenly rang out from nearby, kicking up a massive gust of wind that threatened to push Baiken back. Despite this, she stood her ground, putting up her remaining arm to block a cloud of dust that was coming her way. Once it had subsided, she put it down and looked toward the direction the explosion had come from.
‘The hell? Was that ki?’ She thought to herself. ‘Well, I won’t get any answers just standing here!’
With that, Baiken took off at top speed, running directly toward the source of the explosion.
Several city blocks away
BOOM!
Another ki blast shot through the air, completely destroying a distant building. The man responsible for this blast currently stood atop a destroyed rooftop, with one hand on his hip and his other arm currently outstretched. He was a blue-eyed teenager with shoulder-length black hair and an outfit consisting of a black t-shirt atop a long-sleeved white shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of blue-and-white shoes.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” A woman’s voice called out to him. The woman in question sported similar hair to his, though hers was blonde and the left side was obscured behind her ear. Her top consisted of a blue denim vest that covered a black shirt with striped white sleeves. Her lower half was covered by a denim skirt, blue tights, and brown boots. A long time ago, she had been known as Lazuli, but now she went by Android 18, one of the twins responsible for the slow genocide of the human race. Currently, however, she wasn’t destroying the last remains of human society. Instead, she’d spent the past 30 minutes watching as her brother Lapiz, AKA Android 17, destroyed what remained of the town’s buildings. Needless to say, the act had quickly lost its luster, and she was beginning to lose her patience with him.
“All the humans are dead.” She pointed out in annoyance. “The fun part’s over. I don’t wanna sit around here and watch you shoot buildings all day, it’s boring.”
Before 17 could give a response, a new voice suddenly rang out.
“So you’re the ones who were responsible for killing all those people?” Upon hearing this, both of the androids looked toward its direction. They found themselves staring at a Japanese woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s. Her pink hair had been tied into an enormous ponytail that was about as wide as her body and reached down to her back. Her only article of clothing was a red, black, and white kimono, which sported an empty right sleeve. Sitting atop her shoulders was a black jacket that billowed in the wind, similar to a cape. Her feet were covered by a pair of black sandals, and her shins were protected by gold-and-black greaves. A glass eye patch protected her scarred left eye, while her right glared intensely at the twins with its peach-colored iris.
As they stared at this newcomer, 17 looked over to his sister.
“Well, would you look at that? It seems we missed one!” He said somewhat jovially before turning to face Baiken and flashing a cocky grin. “So what do you want, stumpy? If you’re trying to avenge your friends or family or whatever, you’re about 5, maybe 10 pounds too light. And you’re a bit lacking in the whole ‘depth perception’ department to be a-“
FWOOSH!
A brief gust of wind rushed past 17, followed by something hitting him.
“-threat?” He finished uncertainly as he noticed something. Baiken was gone! But where could she have-
“You were saying?” Her voice called out from behind, causing him to whirl around in shock.
“17! What happened to your arm?” 18 asked, sounding somewhat scared.
“What do you mean? What’s wrong with my-“ 17’s question died in his throat, and his expression shifted into one of horror as he looked down at his arm- or rather, the bleeding stump where it used to be. He then looked back up to see Baiken, who had quickly tossed the severed appendage aside. The sight of this caused the android’s surprise to morph into a vicious glare. “You! How did you do that?”
Instead of answering, the samurai turned her back to the android, causing his expression to contort even further.
“Don’t turn your back on me! Give me an answer, dammit! You’re just a human! So how the hell did you move that fast?!” 17 screamed.
“I don’t see any point in answering a dead man.” Baiken said dismissively as she swung her katana through the air, flicking off the blood from 17’s amputation.
“A dead man, huh?” As he said this, 17 leapt forward. “Let’s see how that attitude of yours holds up once I get a hold of you!”
Rather than being worried about this, his target sheathed her katana, creating an audible CLICK. In tandem with this action, the android’s body suddenly split in two, creating a fountain of blood as his torso split off from his waist. Before either half even had the chance to hit the ground, Baiken threw out her hand and fired off a massive ki blast, instantly vaporizing him. The sight of this caused 18 to step back in shock, but before she could attempt to escape, Baiken turned her attention to her.
“You didn’t think I’d forget about you, did you?” The samurai asked, her remaining eye full of burning anger.
“You- what are you?” 18 asked, her tone a mixture of fury and horror.
“What am I?” Baiken repeated. “I’m nothing more than a samurai who’s made it her mission to hunt down creatures like you.”
Once these words had finished escaping her lips, Baiken rushed toward the remaining android, who leapt away in a desperate attempt to avoid her brother’s fate.
Some distance away
A man was currently soaring through the air at top speed. He was in his early 20’s, and his clothing consisted of an orange gi, an undershirt, and a wristband; the latter of which were both blue. His feet were covered by a pair of blue boots that had yellow stripes on the bottom edges. His hair was blond and spiked up, with several bangs sticking out in the front and right sides of his face. A scar ran down the left side of his face, though the most striking feature about him was his left arm- or rather, the lack thereof. His left sleeve had been completely wrapped up, obscuring the stub that remained of his missing limb.
This was Son Gohan, the last remaining member of the Z-Fighters. For the past few days, he had trained alongside his student, Trunks, so they’d be prepared for their next confrontation with the androids. But even with their training, Gohan knew that neither of them had the strength to take on the cybernetic killers. Rather than risking both of their lives, Gohan had decided to go alone, incapacitating Trunks so he wouldn’t attempt to follow.
Even though he knew he was approaching his impending death, Gohan still stared straight ahead at Pepper Town, scanning the area for the androids. The moment he spotted either one, he’d make sure to catch them off guard and-
BOOM!
Gohan stopped flying as he watched one of the androids, 18, suddenly crash through a building, flying through the air back-first as she was knocked away. Immediately after this, he noticed a vague white blur leap after 18 just as she hit the ground. The android attempted to push herself back up, but before she could, her attacker suddenly caught up to her. 18 was only able to briefly vocalize her terrified scream before it was prematurely silenced by an energy-enhanced slash. This swing entered through her collar bone and exited out of her side almost immediately, but she didn’t even have time to register this pain.
At speeds that not even Gohan could track, 18’s attacker threw out a rapid flurry of slashes, each one producing another laceration on her body. After the fifteenth slice, the blur seemed to have had enough, as it stuck a hand out in front of 18’s face. There was a quick flash of light, and then, once Gohan had blinked, he noticed 18 was gone! At the same time, the blur cleared up, revealing a pink-haired woman.
Although the sight of this left him confused at first, Gohan’s mind finally registered what had just happened. Someone had actually managed to defeat the androids! While normally he would’ve been grateful, Gohan couldn’t help but feel slightly uneasy toward this mysterious savior. He could feel the ki radiating off of her, and it was absolutely massive! The thing that really caught his attention, however, was how negative it was. Even though it had noticeably simmered down after her fight with the androids, he could still sense an aura of pent-up anger and rage around her.
‘With how strong she is, I should make sure I don’t upset her. But at the same time, I need to make sure she can be trusted.’ The half-Saiyan thought to himself. “Excuse me.” He called out as he began descending, his boots creating an audible CRUNCH as he landed on the ground.
“Hm?” Baiken said as she turned to face him. The sight of her scarred face caused him to pause in surprise for a brief moment, but Gohan quickly put it aside and spoke.
“I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of the androids. They’ve been responsible for countless deaths over the years, but now that they’re gone…” his expression softened before he continued speaking. “We’ll finally be able to move forward.”
“You’re welcome.” Baiken said half-heartedly as she inspected her katana. After flicking it clean of 18’s blood, she sheathed her weapon and began walking away.
“Hold on! I wasn’t finished.” Gohan pointed out, causing her to stop and look back at him. “This might be a weird thing to ask, but would you mind sparring with me? I wanted to fight the androids myself, but since you already killed them-“
“You wanna fight me to see how you would’ve done against them, right?” Baiken asked. Gohan nodded in response, causing her to smirk.
“Alright, kid. But just a fair warning,” she spoke before gripping her sword, “I’m not gonna hold back, so you’d better give it all you’ve got!”
Though Baiken’s words left him visibly surprised, the half-Saiyan proved quick to save face as his expression returned to a grin. After lowering himself into a fighting stance, he responded.
“Alright. Let’s do this!”
The two stared at each other for a brief moment, Gohan’s green pupils matching Baiken’s peach one. Their leg muscles tensed up in preparation as both prepared to take the first step. Then, after what felt like an eternity, they rushed forward!
As they drew closer to each other, Baiken instinctively threw out a vertical slash, only for her eye to widen as Gohan suddenly vanished from sight. Before she had a chance to recover, Gohan reappeared behind her and threw out a roundhouse kick to the spine, a spinning backhand to her shoulder blade, and a flip kick to the back of her skull. The impact of the last blow forced her to the ground, but Baiken proved quick to respond with a sweep kick that knocked Gohan off his feet. The Saiyan hybrid tumbled to the ground, but before he could hit the pavement-
“Tatami Gaeshi!” Baiken declared as she stomped on the ground. Upon doing so, a green mat appeared beneath her feet and smashed into his jaw, striking hard enough that it actually reversed his momentum. With her opponent’s body now vulnerable, the samurai leapt into the air and struck with two kicks, one to his left pec and the second to his face. A third upward kick then slammed into Gohan’s chin, but he wouldn’t even have the chance to be moved by it.
“Tsubaki!” His attacker declared as she threw out a downward spinning slash. The attack sent Gohan hurtling toward the ground, and upon slamming into the concrete back-first, he involuntarily opened his mouth to cough up spittle. At the same time, he regained enough focus to notice Baiken coming down on him with her right foot extended outward. Realizing the dangers of just sitting there, Gohan placed his hands beneath himself and sprung off, cartwheeling away just as Baiken touched down. The moment she did so, a pillar of pink energy erupted from beneath the ground, but her brow furrowed when she noticed Gohan wasn’t there.
As the energy from the Tetsuzansen began to disperse, however, a golden blast suddenly approached Baiken at alarming speeds. Rolling to the side, the samurai felt the projectile just barely graze her loose sleeve, but she wouldn’t have time to worry about that. No sooner than it had passed her did Gohan rush forward, closing the distance almost instantly. Once he was close enough, the Saiyan threw out a right hook with all his might. Rather than making contact with Baiken’s face, however, Gohan felt a cut form on his knuckles as his fist slammed into solid steel. At the same time, a pink flash briefly appeared in front of Baiken’s body, eliciting a look of confusion from Gohan. Before he could overcome this surprise, Baiken took advantage of it as she lunged forward, already gripping her katana!
“Too slow!” She taunted as she dashed past him, slicing across his chest while doing so. As she reappeared behind him, Baiken thrust her katana downward, stabbing into the Saiyan’s left calf. Gohan’s knee buckled as pain flared through his mind, but it only grew worse as his opponent delivered a vertical slash to his back. An overhead slash followed this, but before he could stagger forward, Gohan felt her grab him by the collar. She then slammed him into the ground, stomping on his back to keep him in place. Before he could even attempt to fight back, Baiken brought her katana down, stabbing him in the side before sending him away with a kick to the chin. It struck hard enough that Gohan was sent hurtling through the air, but Baiken wasn’t content with letting it end there!
“Kuchinashi!” As this word escaped her lips, Baiken leapt after him and delivered an upward slash, dragging both of them through the air. While they were in the middle of ascending, she threw out two straight punches, an uppercut, and an aerial kick. Each of these forced the Saiyan to stay airborne, and it was only once they’d hit their apex that Baiken finished her combo. Thrusting her empty sleeve forward, the Japanese woman revealed what lay within: a feudal cannon that sported a dragon-like frame. The sight of this caused Gohan’s pupils to shrink in surprise, eliciting a smirk from Baiken just as-
BOOM!
A flame-wreathed cannonball emerged from the weapon’s “mouth,” slamming into Gohan’s chest and sending him crashing into the ground. He tumbled across the rocky terrain for a few moments, but he proved quick to even himself out. As he came to a complete stop, however, he noticed a familiar shadow about to come down on him. Out of instinct, the pacifistic warrior leapt out of the way, just barely avoiding Baiken’s latest downward slash. Cursing under her breath, she looked back up just in time to see that Gohan had cartwheeled away 3 times. Despite the distance that now lay between them, Baiken’s only response was to scoff as she threw her sleeve forward once again.
“I’ve got you!” She declared as a grappling claw suddenly shot out from her sleeve. It shot forward at blinding speeds, but Gohan proved quick to react as he leaned to the side, allowing the claw to slide past him.
“Sorry, but I’m afraid that’s not gonna happen.” He taunted before giving a violent tug, pulling the samurai toward him. “I’ll be glad to return the favor, though!”
As she was reeled in, Baiken prepared to throw out another attack, but her opponent proved quicker on the draw. Just before she could unsheathe her katana, a roundhouse kick slammed into her jaw, creating an audible CRUNCH! As the impact sent her spiraling through the air, Gohan immediately boosted after her, an aura of ki surrounding him as he did so.
Once he was close enough, Gohan barreled into Baiken with an uppercut to the jaw. Three lightning-fast tornado kicks then slammed into her gut, forcing her to cough up spittle. Despite this, her pain was quickly replaced by anger as she instinctively grabbed the hilt of her sword. Noticing this, Gohan proved quick to put a stop to it as he threw out a palm strike. Although the attack itself didn’t make contact with her body, Baiken still found herself launched through the air as an invisible force slammed into her. She attempted to recover, but before she could-
WHAM!
Gohan suddenly appeared behind her and delivered an elbow strike to her back. This strike then evolved into a backfist as he brought his arm up, slamming it into her trapezius. A grunt of pain briefly emerged from Baiken’s throat, but it was immediately silenced by an overhead flip kick that smashed into the back of her skull. She let out an infuriated scream as she descended, with it soon petering out into an annoyed growl as she backflipped through the air. The moment she landed, Baiken planted her katana into the ground, creating a trail of rubble as she forced herself to a stop.
[Stop music]
‘Damn. The kid’s tougher than he looks.’ She admitted, briefly releasing her grip on the blade to place a hand against her neck. After applying pressure, an audible CRACK rang out as her joints loosened up. Now feeling more comfortable, she reached out for her sword, grabbing it by the handle and ripping it out.
[Start at 0:15]
With her weapon back in hand, she looked up to where Gohan had been, only to find that he was now rushing toward her. Upon seeing that his fist had already drawn back, Baiken gave a smirk, putting her sword up in defense just as he threw his forward. The punch smashed into the blade…
Only for it, as well as the rest of his body, to phase through Baiken and fade away. Her eye widened in surprise at this, but she quickly put it aside as the TE-YO of shifting air currents reached her ears. Realizing the only person it could be, Baiken immediately turned to face him, having already drawn her blade. Unfortunately, it seemed she had acted too late, as a roundhouse kick nailed her in the jaw. The blow launched her across the street, but just as she was about to land, the air currents began to shift behind her. ‘Not this time!’ Baiken thought defiantly. Keeping a firm grip on her katana, she turned to face Gohan and immediately unsheathed it. The half Saiyan rematerialized in front of her, giving an audible grunt as he threw out a chop.
CLANG!
Unlike before, the hand slammed into the base of the blade, creating another pink flash. Undeterred, he followed up with a right hook and sweep kick, both of which met the same result. Gritting his teeth, Gohan threw out a flash kick, only for his foot to meet the flat of his opponent’s katana. Seeing this, he teleported away, his body immediately reappearing above Baiken. Dropping down, he stretched out his elbow, ready to slam the unsuspecting samurai into the ground-
“Youzansen!” Baiken shouted as she pulled out a fan and leapt through the air, cutting the attack off with an outward slash. It ran across Gohan’s chest, striking hard enough that it not only created an enormous gash, but once again reversed his momentum. As he flew back through the air, Baiken once again threw her grappling claw forward, this time aimed at a diagonal angle. Unlike before, the claw hit its mark, clenching down on Gohan’s outfit. With a grunt of exertion, Baiken tugged at the claw, reeling him back in at blinding speeds. For a split-second, it seemed that Gohan’s body would smash face-first into the concrete, but then his captor let out a single word:
“Tetsuzansen!” She shouted before stomping on the ground, releasing another pillar of pink energy. This time, the energy struck Gohan in the chin, sending him flying back a few inches. Just before he could hit the ground, Baiken threw out a sweeping slash, causing him to let out a pained grunt.
“Tatami Gaeshi!” She declared, stomping on the ground once again. Unlike before, this time the mat smashed into Gohan’s back, sending him into the air. Another Kuchinashi forced him to ascend further, which was then followed by Baiken throwing her empty sleeve forward. A Japanese mace emerged from the kimono, slamming directly into Gohan’s forehead. A grunt of pain emerged from his throat, during which his attacker planted her foot against his chest and kicked off, allowing her to position herself above him. Once she had done so, the samurai unveiled her feudal cannon yet again, firing another shot at point-blank range. The cannonball smashed into Gohan’s face, causing his grunt of pain to evolve into a scream as he was sent flying back.
Rushing forward, Baiken then repeated the process, her mace striking hard enough to actually draw blood. When the cannonball exploded, Gohan let out a cry as he felt numerous burns appear around his face. This scream would soon die in his throat, however, as Baiken threw her arm forward and unleashed a long string of chain-like rope. It wrapped around his body in seconds, muffling his cries as Baiken slung him around. Once he was on the other side, the samurai released her grip, forcing her captive to spin through the air as the chains rapidly withdrew themselves. As he descended, Gohan placed his right leg against the ground and spun to a halt. Looking up, he found that Baiken had once again pulled out her cannon. Using her teeth to bite down on it, the samurai reeled her head back to tug at its fuse, creating a loud BOOM as another cannonball emerged.
Upon seeing this, Gohan crossed his arm over his chest, allowing an aura of gold ki to appear around his body. Then, just as quickly as it had appeared, he let loose a determined scream as he thrust his arm out in a diagonal angle. In tandem with this action, his aura erupted outward, forming into an expansive dome of energy.
“Wha-“ Baiken began to ask, only for her question to morph into a pained, annoyed scream as the Super Explosive Wave sent her flying back. As she soared through the air, Baiken watched in amazement as the energy sphere continued to expand, slowly growing larger with each millisecond that passed. Even as she planted her feet against the ground and skidded to a halt, the wave continued to swell in size. It would only stop once it encompassed multiple city blocks, upon which it faded to reveal the destruction it had wrought. Numerous vehicles had been tipped over or destroyed, dozens of buildings were reduced to piles of rubble, and chunks of uplifted ground now lay strewn throughout the streets. Baiken paid this no mind, however, as her attention was drawn more toward the gold-and-orange blur headed her way. Out of instinct, she put up an Azami-
WHAM!
-only for a jump kick to break through her defenses and nail her in the chin. The moment it struck, Baiken found herself uncontrollably flying through the air, smashing through a vacant building in the process. As she exited through the other side, she noticed a familiar golden streak rush past her, but she wouldn’t have time to face it. She had only begun to crane her neck when Gohan struck with a roundhouse kick to the left cheek. The samurai was sent hurtling back, which only grew further as a right hook smashed into her jaw.
Before she could travel far, Gohan grabbed hold of her ankle and began descending through the air, dead-set on sending her to one destination: an abandoned office building. Once they were close enough, the Saiyan let out a grunt of exertion as he slammed the 100 lb woman into the rooftop. The moment she collided, all of the windows in the building exploded outward, causing hundreds of shards to begin raining onto the streets below.
At the same time, Baiken’s body was mercilessly pummeled as she slammed through numerous office floors back-first. She couldn’t control her path, and each collision only seemed to further threaten the building’s structure. With each passing second, the building would shake violently, and it only grew worse as her descent progressed. The shaking would only stop when she hit the pavement, evidenced by an audible CRACK, and that was when all hell broke loose. Upon crashing through the lobby, an orchestra of groaning metal, splitting wood, and collapsing tile filled her ears. As she watched her surroundings come crashing down in front of her, the samurai’s expression shifted into one of annoyance as she spoke five words:
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
CRASH!
[Stop music]
As these words finished escaping her lips, the entire building collapsed in on itself, kicking up a massive cloud of dust and debris. It was thick enough that Gohan began hacking violently as it reached his vicinity. Despite this, he attempted to look through the destroyed area, scanning it with both his eyes and ki. For several seconds, there were no signs of Baiken, but then-
BOOM!
An enormous explosion rang out, while also producing a brief spike of ki. Upon turning toward its direction, Gohan was met with dozens of chunks of debris, all flying toward him at hypersonic speeds. Just when it seemed they were about to make contact, however, he stuck his arm out, firing off another kiai. The invisible wave shot through the air, dispersing the massive cloud of dust and scattering the rubble across the street. But even with this progress, Gohan could still feel something- no, several things fly through the air, all of them targeting him! Before he even had a chance to recognize what they were, four blades had run past a different part of his body, each one leaving a cut. A stinging pain ran through his head as the upper hooks two ran across both sides of his collar, while the lower two had slashed through the sides of his torso. Immediately after this, the sound of four CLANKs filled his ears as each hook embedded itself in a nearby building, but before he could question why-
SHING!
[Start at 0:08]
Gohan let out a grunt of pain as a gash suddenly formed across his abdomen, followed by a familiar pain across his arm. Looking toward its direction, he fought back the urge to scream when he saw what had happened.
As it turned out, Baiken’s latest attack had done a number on his arm. The forearm-length stump had been lobbed off by her slash, leaving his shoulder as the only remnant of his left arm. Blood leaked out of the stump, spilling onto the ground, but its owner would soon find himself preoccupied with other matters.
“Baku!” He heard Baiken shout from behind, followed by something hard slapping against his back. The force from her strike caused him to stagger forward. Before he could even regain his balance, he heard a second shout: “Sakura!” followed by something hitting him from behind. Once again, Gohan stumbled forward, but this time he managed to catch himself mid-step and whirled around. Instinctively, he prepared to leap back and avoid Baiken’s attack, but he quickly realized something was wrong. His leg muscles were tensing up, but when it came time to actually jump, they suddenly gave out, leaving him to collapse onto the ground.
Looking up, he was immediately greeted to the sight of Baiken’s elbow smashing into his face. The elbow strike sent him tumbling across the street, now sporting a bloodied nose, but he quickly put it aside. As he pushed himself back up, however, he did take note of his body. For some reason, one that he couldn’t hope to explain, both his skin and clothes were now flashing blue. He attempted to run toward Baiken, but the moment he tried he instead wound up stumbling forward. Just before he could collapse, Baiken rushed past him, quickly slashing across his chest. The pain caused him to briefly stagger back, upon which the samurai put her plan into action!
“Baku!” Another palm strike hit Gohan in the back. “Tsuki!” She announced, repeating this motion. This time, a hanafuda card bearing the character 月 appeared, hitting him across the back and making him stagger even further. At the same time, his blue glow was now replaced with a yellow, which Baiken was more than willing to capitalize on!
“Ten!” She shouted as she delivered an underhanded upward slash, splitting the card in two and running her blade across Gohan’s back. “Chi!” She continued by throwing out a low sweeping slash to his lumbar. As she swung her blade through the air, charging it with ki, both combatants could’ve sworn they saw an image of a moon. Its surface bore three words, all written in kanji: Ten, chi, and-
“Jin!” Baiken finished as she threw out her energy-infused slash, raking it across Gohan’s back and sending him hurtling toward the ground. Despite this, he proved quick to place his hand against the ground and attempted to push himself back up. Unfortunately, it seemed that his efforts were in vain, as no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t do so! And though he hated admitting it, Baiken’s ruthless fighting style had taken its toll on his body.
Bloody cuts and gashes adorned his torso, the top of which was now fully exposed thanks to Baiken’s final slash. Blood streaked down the right side of his face, turning his sclera a dark pink. To make matters worse, his vision was beginning to fade, and black spots were now dancing in his eyes. The loss of blood was starting to make him feel lightheaded, and his grip was rapidly weakening. Even maintaining Super Saiyan was becoming nigh-impossible, as his hair kept flickering between gold and black. For three seconds, he attempted to continue this struggle, but it seemed that he had pushed his body to its limit. With an audible THUD, Gohan collapsed onto the ground, his hair fading back to its usual black as the last of his stamina drained from his body.
[Stop music]
Seeing this, Baiken cocked an eyebrow. While she’d had her doubts that this kid was human, what she just witnessed didn’t help. He wasn’t a Gear, that much was certain, but that still didn’t explain what the hell he was!
‘Guess that’ll be another question to ask once I find someone who can tell me where I am. I’d ask him, but-‘ she paused to look down at Gohan’s unmoving body. ‘I don’t feel like waiting another hour for him to wake up!’
As this thought ran through her mind, Baiken pulled out a piece of cloth and began wiping it against her blade. Once it was rendered clean, she threw the cloth into the air and, in a sudden flash, sliced it to pieces. As she placed her blade back in its sheathe, Baiken turned her back to Gohan, but not before giving him some parting words.
“You did a good job keeping me on my toes, kid. I’d be lying if I said you could win against both of those monsters, but with that strength, you would’ve stood a chance against the black-haired one. If you want some way to improve, I’d suggest carrying a weapon or at least some armor. Not that either one would help you against me.”
Once these words had left her mouth, she began walking away from the battlefield, leaving Gohan’s bloodied, unconscious form behind. As he lay on the ground, covered in a pool of his own blood, Gohan could feel his life slowly fade away, but he wasn’t willing to give up just yet!
—
Gohan’s Subconscious
Gohan found himself standing in the middle of an empty black void. He looked around, heavily confused as to how he had gotten there. As his eyes scanned the area, he noticed a familiar figure standing in front of him. It was pale and translucent, almost like a ghost, but there was no mistaking who it was.
”Dad?”
Indeed, standing before Gohan was his father, the deceased warrior known as Son Goku. Before he could question why his father was here or where this place was, another figure appeared, this time materializing to Goku’s right.
”Mom?” Gohan asked, the surprise audible in his voice as Chi-Chi looked back at him with a smile. This didn’t make any sense! As far as he knew, his mother was still alive, so why-
A third ghostly image appeared, this time standing at Goku’s right. It was Piccolo, the green, slug-like Namekian who had mentored Gohan when he was only a boy.
A fourth ghost materialized behind Chi-Chi, taking the form of Krillin, the former monk who he’d grown to know while on Namek.
Behind Piccolo emerged a fifth ghost: Bulma, the head of Capsule Corp, who he had befriended during his childhood.
Finally, a sixth ghost materialized, this one appearing directly in front of Gohan. The moment he saw it, the Saiyan found himself taken aback. Standing before him, sporting a smile much like the others, was Trunks. The boy he’d taken under his wing. The one he’d trained so they could fight the androids together.
As he stared at the ghostly images, Gohan could feel something gnawing away at him. Just a few minutes ago, he had been ready to lay his life on the line for a chance to fight the androids, but now something was different. With the androids dead, there was no reason for him to throw his life away so easily. What would his mother think, or Bulma, or even Trunks? Could he really let himself die, knowing that there were still those out there who cared for him? That by doing so, he would be leaving the people of Earth defenseless to whatever threat would come next?
‘No!’
—
Gohan’s eyes shot open, his expression hardening into one of anger as he slammed his fist into the ground, forcing himself to enter Super Saiyan once more as he got back to his feet. He wouldn’t let himself die here! Not while there were still so many people he had to protect!
As this thought ran through his mind, Gohan could feel a tight sensation within his chest. It was like a blaze of anger and determination, one that he hadn’t felt since the first time he had gone Super Saiyan. This well of emotion continued to build up in his body, slowly increasing with each passing second. It was almost like the energy itself was crying out, begging to be released, and Gohan was more than willing to unleash it!
Crossing his right arm over his chest, Gohan felt the energy course through his body, starting off with the familiar golden aura of ki. As it continued building within him, the aura surrounding Gohan would flare up, briefly becoming more flame-like in nature before reverting. With each flare, his muscles would expand in size, growing about an inch thicker before deflating back to normal. As these occurrences grew more frequent, Gohan threw out his arm and let loose a powerful scream, one that spread throughout the city and seemed to reach the heavens itself! The moment this scream reached her ears, Baiken turned toward its direction, and what she saw made her eye widen in shock.
“What the hell?” She asked in audible surprise, though her question was rendered nearly inaudible by Gohan’s transformation.
As the flame-like ki surrounded Gohan, his body began to undergo even further changes. His muscles’ growth had stabilized, having become two inches thicker than they had been prior. Arcs of electricity were now starting to form around his body, though where they appeared seemed to be at random. The first surrounded his arm, the second covered his leg, and the third went around his waist. The energy within him continued to grow, and so too did the length of his hair. Several tufts had begun jutting out, visibly spikier and more rigid than before. With this hair growth came a surplus of electricity, as what was once a brief occurrence slowly evolved into an aura of crackling arcs. Once this aura had made its appearance, the energy within Gohan’s body seemed to have quelled, and his scream soon turned into silence.
No longer was Gohan a regular Super Saiyan. In his desperation to survive, he had unleashed a well of emotion, one that had given him the boost to unlock the next step in Saiyan evolution.
He had become a Super Saiyan 2.
[Stop music]
With the transformation now stabilized, Gohan’s first course of action was to reach into his pants. Pulling out a small pouch, he quickly unfastened it to reveal what lay inside: a small bean, lime green in color and barely the size of a pebble. He brought the minuscule item to his mouth and bit down, producing an audible CRUNCH! Then, as the Senzu Bean slid down his throat, something happened, something that could only be described as a miracle. Almost as if it had a mind of its own, Gohan’s skin began to stitch itself back together, sewing up the various lacerations within seconds. Consuming the bean also seemed to have done more than heal him, as he now had an energy in his step that he had previously lacked.
Now fully restored, Gohan began scanning the area for where Baiken had gone, though he wouldn’t have to search far. As it turned out, Baiken was standing several feet away, eyeing him with suspicion.
“So, what the hell is this? Do you get stronger the more ridiculous your hair looks?” She asked.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. I didn’t even know I had this power until now.” He answered truthfully.
“Well, if you’re looking to test it, be my guest.” Baiken offered as she entered a fighting stance, flashing him a smirk. “Just don’t be surprised when I kick your ass agai-“
FWOOSH!
[If rooting for Future Gohan]
[If rooting for Baiken]
Before she even had the chance to unsheathe her weapon, Gohan closed the distance in an instant, punctuating it with a kick to the stomach. As Baiken was sent flying across the street, Gohan reeled his hand back, allowing a ball of blue ki to charge in his palm.
“Kamehameha!” He shouted as he threw his arm forward, firing off the ki in the form of a massive blue laser. It flew toward Baiken at blinding speeds, but she proved quick to bring her sword up, keeping it in a defensive position. The moment it met the base of her blade, the Kamehameha split in two before dispersing into nothingness, but this proved to be the opportunity Gohan needed!
TE-YO!
While Baiken was busy defending against his beam, he appeared behind her and threw out a powerful chop to the neck, causing her concentration to break as she stumbled forward. Before she could recover, he slammed into her with a knee strike to the spine, teleported in front of her, and slammed into her face with an elbow strike. A second knee, this time to her stomach, caused her to lurch over.
With the boosted speed of Super Saiyan 2, Gohan began to rapidly move around Baiken, repeatedly slamming into her with a variety of moves. Numerous punches, kicks, knee and elbow strikes, and many other body blows struck the samurai at blinding speeds. He moved so quickly that, to an outsider, there would’ve been no sign of his appearance. No sign, that is, until he finally decided to stop in front of Baiken, keeping his fist clenched at his side.
[Pause music]
As he ceased his assault, Baiken collapsed onto one knee, panting heavily. Her body was covered in bruises from where the blows had struck, and her muscles ached like she’d just run a marathon. Even as she attempted to stand back up, she could feel pain flare through her body.
‘Damn. Looks like that transformation wasn’t just for show, but still. One second it looks like he’s on death’s door, and now he’s the one kicking my ass. How’d he get this strong so quickly?‘ Baiken thought to herself. She prepared to ask him, but then-
WHAM!
[Continue]
Gohan cut her off permaturely with a high kick, slamming it into her jaw. She flew through the air like a rocket, but Gohan proved quick to catch up to her, punctuating it with a straight punch. This caused her to fly further away, but her attacker continued delivering another punch. Then a third. Then a fourth. A fifth. A sixth.
With each blow, the interval between punches grew shorter, allowing Gohan the chance to set up a seemingly endless combo. Punch after punch impacted Baiken’s body, each one targeting a different weak spot and sending her further through the city. This would soon come to an end, however, as a final punch from Gohan sent her careening into an office building. The glass behind her exploded into a storm of shards, but before she could crash through the window, she felt Gohan grab hold of her ankle.
With Baiken now in tow, he spun around, deliberately slamming her face into the window. He did this again when they reached the next floor, and a third time the floor after that. They continued ascending through the building, each floor accompanied by another spin from Gohan. Baiken attempted to push through the pain and free herself, but her captor proved relentless as he continued smashing her through the windows. Once they had passed the final floor and flown above the building, Gohan released his grip, sending Baiken hurtling through the air.
As he watched her descend toward the ground, her eye darting around for some way to cushion her landing, Gohan raised his arm through the air, keeping his fingers outstretched. Golden energy began to charge in his palm at a rapid rate, expanding with each millisecond.
“MASENKO-HA!” He declared as he thrust his hand forward, firing off a beam that was even large than Baiken herself. It was so large, in fact, that it covered roughly several hundred feet in both length and width. As she watched the beam rush toward her, Baiken’s eye widened in shock. A split-second later, and the Hyper Masenko consumed her body, eliciting a scream of pain as the ki burned away at her body. The beam continued to push her downward, and she would only stop once she slammed into the concrete back-first. The beam continued to burn away at her body, and it would only grow worse as Gohan continued pouring more ki into it. The Masenko continued expanding, its width growing ever larger until finally-
THOOM!
[Pause music]
It exploded outward, kicking up a massive cloud of dust as the ki dispersed in the air. The newfound smokescreen elicited a series of coughs and hacks from Gohan, who was fighting through the smoke to search for Baiken. He scanned the area, using both his eyes and his ki to try and locate the missing samurai. He began to pick up something, but just as he had-
SHINK!
[Continue music]
Faster than he could react, a familiar grappling claw flew out of the smokescreen and embedded itself in his right pec. A grunt of pain emerged from his throat, and it soon evolved into a surprised scream as Baiken gave a sharp tug, pulling him back down to earth. He slammed into the ground face-first, and before he could attempt to get back up he felt Baiken pull him forward.
As he was reeled in, Gohan noticed that she had already grabbed hold of her katana. With little time left to react, he quickly placed his hand close the center of his face, spreading his fingers toward his eyes. Though this action confused her, Baiken put it aside and lunged forward. She unsheathed her katana from its hilt and swung at Gohan’s chest, but then-
“Solar Flare!”
[Stop music]
As these words escaped his lips, a bright flash of light emerged in front of Gohan, leaving Baiken to take the full brunt of the attack.
“Gah! Shit!” She muttered under her breath as her vision faded to white. Despite the searing pain in her retina, she instinctively threw out a slash, aiming at where she believed Gohan was. He immediately responded by cartwheeling back, just barely managing to avoid the katana grazing against his cheek. Then, in an attempt to put more distance between them, he cartwheeled three more times, landing roughly a street away from where Baiken currently stood. If he wanted to end this fight, he was going to need all the time he could get to pull off this next attack!
“KA-“
He brought his hand back, allowing a familiar blue orb to begin growing in his palm.
“ME-“
Sweat began to pour down his forehead as he placed more ki into it, allowing the sphere to swell in size.
“HA-“
The orb’s expansion continued, now large enough that it was roughly the size of an apple.
“ME-“
The blast surged in its growth, now large enough that it encompassed his entire hand in size. As this energy hit its peak, Gohan thrust his hand forward, letting loose the final syllable of this technique’s name.
“HA!”
An enormous wave of blue ki erupted out from Gohan’s hand. It expanded in size the farther it grew, and by the time it had reached the halfway point it was far larger than its target. At the same time, Baiken had only just managed to blink away the blindness of the Solar Flare when she noticed the expansive beam that was rapidly approaching her. In response, she immediately brought her katana in front of herself, holding it in a defensive position. Then, just as she’d done so, they collided!
The moment it slammed into her katana, Baiken’s eye widened as she nearly felt herself topple over. This Kamehameha… it seemed stronger than before! Gritting her teeth, Baiken only grew more adamant as she planted both feet firmly into the ground. She pushed against the Kamehameha with all her might, slowly struggling against the wave of ki. With a heavy struggle, she lifted one of her legs and planted it into the ground as she took a step forward. The opposite foot would then follow suit, allowing her to slowly overpower this immense wave.
Sensing her progress, Gohan responded by placing more ki into the Kamehameha, causing it to undergo a drastic shift in size. It continued to expand until it was roughly the size of a city block, and with it a massive chunk of the city was wiped out. But for Gohan, this still wasn’t enough! He needed more power!
Pulling deep into the recesses of his body, Gohan began focusing everything he had. All of his ki, from what he’d had prior to what he’d been given by the boost of Super Saiyan 2, was pooled into the blast. As his energy poured into it, the Kamehameha suddenly burst outward, now visible from space as it ravaged the city. Everything that became caught in its wake was immediately vaporized, from the buildings, to the cars, to even the concrete beneath Baiken’s feet. But if he expected that this would be enough to put Baiken down, he was dead wrong!
Even as her skin became adorned with burns and her clothes were adorned with tatters, she continued walking toward him, letting out a bloody war cry as she continued to push through the beam! Her hand began to emerge from the epicenter of the beam, and Gohan responded by pushing forward. This was it. His last-ditch effort to win against Baiken! He took a step forward, pouring out all of his energy just as she swung her katana.
[Stop music]
For a brief moment, everything seemed to freeze. The destruction of Pepper Town, the growing energy of the Kamehameha, and even the fates of both combatants. Then, once this moment had passed, Gohan’s Kamehameha suddenly dispersed, revealing what had become of their battlefield.
All of Pepper Town had been destroyed, now nothing reduced to nothing more than a crater. The concrete streets and sidewalks were now reduced to barren, charred ground which seemed to stretch out for miles on end. All of its buildings had been destroyed, and in their places were miscellaneous piles of glass and rubble. The vehicles that had once filled the streets were now flipped over or crushed, and even those that still remained intact displayed heavy signs of damage. Not even the town’s flora had been spared the Kamehameha’s wrath, as the trees and flowers that had once dotted the area were now reduced to charred, smoldering shells of their former selves. Looking at it now, it would’ve been hard to believe that this place could have ever supported life, much less that it had once been one of the most populated towns on the planet. Yet two figures stood at the edge of this crater, both set on defying that notion.
Gohan stood upright with his arm outstretched, his hair having reverted to black. The final attack had taken a lot out of him, and it felt like his legs were going to give out at any second. His breathing had gone ragged, and despite his best attempts, he was struggling to stay conscious.
Baiken, on the other hand, was kneeling on the ground, still gripping her katana. Third-degree burns now covered her body, courtesy of taking the Kamehameha head-on, and her appearance had seen better days. The blast had eaten away at several parts of her skin, revealing strips of muscle tissue in her cheeks, forehead, and collar. Her remaining arm was missing several strips of skin, some of which exposed part of her radius and humerus. Her hair was now a disheveled mess, and her kimono had been completely destroyed. The stump of her severed arm was now exposed to the world, as was the sarashi that lay wrapped around her legs. The eye patch that once covered her face was now shattered, and it soon fell to the ground, revealing the scar that lay over her left eye.
For a few tense seconds, all remained silent throughout the wasteland, but then the victor spoke two audible words:
And that’s how you end a samurai battle! A single stroke, then you walk off like a complete badass. Wouldn’t have it any other way!
So, putting the finisher aside, let’s talk about the verdict. When it came to strength, Gohan’s repeatedly been shown to damage both of the androids, who were superior in power to Frieza. Frieza, while in his base form, was able to casually destroy Planet Vegeta, a feat calculated to be 1.7 tenatons, or Dwarf Star Level. If we go by the anime, Frieza’s final form was able to produce an explosion visible from outer space, which is calculated to be 943 MegaFoe, or Solar System Level. Baiken, meanwhile, would scale to Ky and I-No. Both of these characters are shown to becomparableto Sol Badguy, whose body contains the Flame of Corruption, which would erase everything in the universe and merge it with the Backyard, a dimension that is larger thanthe universe. Given that this merging affects two universe-sized realms, this would put Sol, as well as Ky and I-No, at Low Multiverse Level. And keep in mind that Baiken would scale to this, as she’s been shown to fight Ky to a standstill, hasregularlydefeated I-No, and was able to destroy a copy of Justice, whose existence has similar properties to Sol’s.
As for speed, Baiken takes that, as well. If we go by the Dragon Ball anime, Gohan would be superior to Namek Saga Goku, who was able to react to asteroids while on his trip to Namek. This feat is calculated to be anywhere from 2,881 times FTL to 152 million times FTL. Baiken, on the other hand, would once again scale to Ky and I-No, both of whom are superior to Jack-O Valentine, who can move at 32 trillion times the speed of light. Additionally, Baiken’s also shown that she can keep up in battle with Justice, who can move past multiple stars in seconds.
In other words, Baiken was leagues ahead of Gohan in the stat trinity. When it came to non-physical stats, however, things start to get a bit tricky. For experience, you could make the argument that Baiken should take this, as she’s been alive for over 100 years and has spent that time fighting Gears and other monsters. That said, you could also suggest that Gohan’s experience fighting more accomplished and intelligent opponents should give him an edge. It’s a bit hard to say for certain, but I’d say they’re roughly even in this regard. For intelligence, both have shown impressive proficiency in their respective fields, and I can’t really give one the edge over the other here, mainly because we never get an idea of how their mentalities operate during their fights.
Arsenal-wise, Gohan’s only item is a Senzu Bean, and while he could use it to heal himself, it’s unlikely to occur before Baiken blitzes and one-shots him. Not helping his case was that her own arsenal dwarfed his. Her katana gave her better range in close-quarters; she could restrain him with the grappling hook, grappling claw, or chain rope; her fan could give her wider range when fighting up-close; and she could use both the mace and cannon for long-range.
When it came to powers, Baiken’s summoning magic gave her an edge in unpredictability and her ki manipulation would prove effective in close-quarters. That said, Gohan’s own powers surprisingly trumped hers. His zenkai boosts would allow him to boost his stats higher, allowing him to theoretically lessen the gap, his flight gave him better mobility, and his own ki manipulation gave him better long-range options. Despite this, there are some setbacks for Gohan that would prevent him from using his powers. For starters, he needs to heal in order to gain a zenkai, which would be nigh-impossible due to Baiken’s immense edge in stats and his limited supply of Senzu Beans. His flight wouldn’t matter since Baiken could use her grappling hook, claw, or chain rope to pull him back in; and his ki manipulation wouldn’t matter since he mainly fights at close-range.
Speaking of fighting, Baiken easily had the superior fighting style, as her combat is based off of defense and focuses on countering an opponent’s mistakes with high-damaging combos. Her employment of weaponry also gave her an edge here, as her swordplay and wide swinging range would make it more difficult for a hand-to-hand fighter like Gohan to get a good hit in.
There’s also their movesets to consider. As I mentioned above, Gohan’s ki manipulation would allow him to have better long-range options, and he had multiple ways to avoid attacks (Afterimages, Instant Rise, and Wild Sense). He could also use Tenma Defense to defend himself from Baiken’s attacks, and the Solar Flare could serve as an excellent distraction. Despite this, Baiken’s proved superior due to its more potent moves which, when combined with her combo-oriented style, would prove more likely to land a killing blow. It also didn’t help Gohan’s case that she could use Baku to apply status effects that, while temporary, would serve to further affect his performance.
Future Gohan was certainly a formidable opponent, but in the end, he just couldn’t make the cut.
The winner is Baiken.
Baiken (Winner) + Massive edge over Future Gohan in the stat trinity + Larger arsenal + Demon Tools gave her several methods of countering Gohan’s flight + Summoning magic made her more unpredictable + Superior fighting style + Swordplay, when combined with her sword’s range, countered Gohan’s martial arts skills + Baku’s status effects gave her multiple ways to inconvenience Gohan = Roughly even in experience = Roughly even in intellect – Gohan could heal himself by using a Senzu Bean + But this is unlikely to occur given Baiken’s far superior stats, and it wouldn’t matter in the long run – Smaller array of powers + But she either had the means to counter Future Gohan’s, or they wouldn’t be applicable
Future Gohan (Loser) + Senzu Bean gave him an option to heal himself – But it’s unlikely he’d have the time to do so before Baiken blitzes him + Larger array of powers – Which either wouldn’t be applicable or could be countered in some way by Baiken + Better in hand-to-hand combat – Which is nullified due to Baiken’s swordplay and better range in close-quarters + Moveset gave him numerous ways to avoid or defend himself from Baiken’s attacks = Roughly even in experience = Roughly even in intellect – Horribly outclassed in stats – Inferior arsenal – Baiken’s Demon Tools could counter his flight – Inferior fighting style – Baku’s status effects gave Baiken multiple ways to inconvenience him
Whether it’s a natural disaster that brings about the end of all life on the planet, or mankind’s own weaponry being the catalyst that wipes them out, it’s safe to say that there’s no end to the number of ways the apocalypse can begin. And with these changes, there will inevitably be someone who sets out to help those in need. Whether it’s by defending the planet, saving the last of humanity, or dedicating their lives to ending what created the apocalypse, one thing’s certain: they will stop at nothing to accomplish their goals, even if they gain some scars or lose a limb in the process.
Future Gohan, the sole survivor of the Z-Fighters.
And Baiken, the Lone Samurai from Guilty Gear.
I’m Br3ndan5, and I’ll be analyzing their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
——————————————————
Future Gohan Age: 23 Height: 5’9 Weight: 134 lbs Occupation: Martial Artist, Mentor First Appearance: Trunks The History – The Lone Warrior (August 11, 1992) Themes:
Feats: Pre-History of Trunks: -As a child, survived Vegeta and Nappa’s attack on Earth, ultimately playing a role in the former’s defeat -Withstood Frieza torturing him -Was the only survivor of the Z-Fighters after the rest had been killed by androids 17 and 18 -Achieved the legendary form of Super Saiyan after the Z-Fighters’ deaths -Trained by himself for 13 years with the intent of taking down the androids
History of Trunks: -Began training Trunks in the hopes that they’d be able to beat the androids together -Fought against 17 and would’ve beaten him if 18 hadn’t intervened -Saved Trunks from being vaporized -Protected Trunks when the androids bombed the Super World theme park, albeit at the cost of his left arm -Fought the androids one last time, ultimately dying after they bombarded him with a heavy barrage of ki blasts -His death gave Trunks the final push to becoming a Super Saiyan
In the Age 764, peace had begun to return to Earth. The Saiyan warrior Goku had slain the tyrant Frieza and his father, King Cold, ensuring that their empire would no longer thrive. Unfortunately, this peace wasn’t destined to last. Two years later, Goku would be one of many victims to die of a lethal heart virus, and the world would then erupt into chaos thanks to Dr. Gero, a scientist who had worked for one of Goku’s oldest enemies, the Red Ribbon Army. With Goku dead, Gero decided that the time was ripe to take vengeance upon the world and unleashed two of his greatest creations, Androids 17 and 18. Unfortunately for Gero, the two androids (who are actually cyborgs) proved unwilling to listen to his orders and rebelled against him, killing the old man in the process.
With nothing better to do, the androids began terrorizing the world, earning the attention of the Z-Fighters. As they fought against the androids, Gohan left the battlefield and, with the help of his friend Bulma, began searching the world for the Dragon Balls, seven mystical orbs that they believed could help them save the world. Unfortunately, the Dragon Balls had been rendered unusable thanks to the incompetence of the Pilaf Gang, and it would stay this way with the death of the balls’ creator, Kami.
With the deaths of his friends now rendered permanent, Gohan’s rage would hit its peak, allowing him to break through his mental barriers and achieve the legendary form of Super Saiyan. As the last remaining member of the Z-Fighters, Gohan would dedicate the next 13 years of his life to fighting the androids, but no matter how hard he tried he could never defeat them. During this time, he would befriend Trunks, the half Saiyan son of Bulma, and (at Trunks’ request) started training him. On several occasions, he would attempt to encourage Trunks to obtain Super Saiyan as well, but to no avail.
Eventually, while fighting the androids in a theme park, Trunks would be rendered unconscious while fighting 18, forcing Gohan to carry him to safety and hide. This plan would work until the androids decided to bomb the park in the hopes of driving them out. Although he was able to save Trunks, it would come at the cost of losing his arm in the resulting blast.
Despite this handicap, Gohan would continue training Trunks, even getting him to nearly go Super Saiyan at one point. After this attempt, the two would notice Pepper Town being attacked by the androids. Trunks attempted to convince Gohan to let him join, and although he seemed to accept at first, Gohan chose to knock him out in order to prevent the boy from dying. Despite knowing he stood no chance, Gohan rushed into battle, ready to battle the androids one final time. Though he held his own for a bit, the androids eventually managed to overpower him, leading to his death. While the world may have lost a hero that day, it would soon gain another, as Gohan’s death would serve as the catalyst for Trunks to push through and finally achieve Super Saiyan.
Strength: -Knocked Trunks away with a kick to the chin -Traded blows with 17 -Knocked Trunks out with a chop to the neck -Kicked 17 with enough force to send him crashing through a building -Slammed 18 into a roof hard enough that the building’s windows were blown out
Speed: -While sparring, avoided multiple hits from Trunks -Avoided ki blasts and multiple blows from 17 -Intercepted a blow from 18 -Avoided multiple strikes when 17 and 18 tag-teamed him
Durability: -Shrugged off multiple blows from 17 -Was smashed into a store window by 18 -Survived a brutal beating from 17 and 18 -Survived Super World being bombed, though it left him with a scar and an amputated left arm
Personality: -Due to the apocalyptic future he lives in, Future Gohan is more serious and aggressive than his naive, awkward, and laidback present counterpart -Is shown to be internally pained and mentally stressed after years of challenging the androids alone -In moments of peace, Gohan is shown to be much more calm and cheerful, often enjoying life for what it’s worth and even suggesting that others do the same
Weapons and Equipment:
Senzu Beans: -Mystical beans that possess great healing properties -When consumed, they fully restore his energy and physical health -Are capable of healing impalement and broken bones -Keeps them in his pouch, though he only has one or two on hand due to their limited supply
Techniques:
Ki: -A form of energy in the Dragon Ball universe -Created from Future Gohan’s own life energy -Formed using three elements: vigor, courage, and mind -Uses it for the following techniques
Flight: -Self-explanatory
Zenkai: -A genetic trait that is shared by all Saiyans -Allows the user to recover from injuries at a faster rate and grow stronger, with the latter being caused when they either heal from a near-death experience or endure a great struggle while fighting -Upon healing, a Saiyan’s body will “learn” from the experience, allowing their instincts and natural resistances to greatly improve -The more severely he’s damaged, the greater the zenkai will be
Ki Blast: -An energy wave of ki
Kiai: -Future Gohan places ki into his hand as he strikes the air, creating a powerful shockwave that strikes opponents from a distance
Invisible Eye Blast: -A kiai fired from the eyes
Super Explosive Wave: -Future Gohan charges ki inside of himself before forcing it to explode outward in the form of a massive energy sphere -Can increase its AOE by outputting more ki from his body, resulting in a variant called “Ki Explosions”
Super Afterimage Strike: -Future Gohan moves around the battlefield while using afterimages to distract his opponent
Instant Rise: -Future Gohan rapidly ascends through the air, moving so quickly that he seems to teleport -Used as a way to avoid oncoming attacks
Wild Sense: -Future Gohan dodges an attack by moving swiftly before countering with a punch or kick that sends the opponent to the ground or into the air
Down Burst: -Future Gohan fires an energy sphere to the ground, creating a smokescreen that blinds the opponent
Intercept: -Future Gohan blocks his opponent’s attacks before quickly moving behind them. When they turn to face him, he delivers a powerful kick to the chin
Sonic Rush: -Future Gohan kicks his opponent away before teleporting behind them to deliver a chop, followed by a hook and a sweep kick. He then finishes by kicking them into the air before slamming them back down with an elbow strike
Masenko: -Future Gohan places both hands above the head, one in front of the other, with the palms facing the opponent and the fingers going in opposite directions. He thrusts his hands forward, calling out “MASENKO-HA!” as he fires a beam of yellow or white energy
Hyper Masenko: -A stronger, larger variant of the above
Kamehameha: -A powerful ki blast fired from both hands after being charged between the user’s palms
One-Handed Kamehameha: -Future Gohan performs several backflips to distance himself from the opponent. After doing so, he charges ki into his hand, slowly chanting the technique’s name before thrusting his arm forward and firing a blue beam
One-Handed Kamehameha mk. II: -Same as the above, but upon firing it Future Gohan pours more energy into the beam, increasing its power and prolonging the amount of time he can fire it
Fierce Combination: -Future Gohan strikes a fighting pose as he charges at the opponent and kicks them into the air. He then flies past them before roundhousing and punching them away. Before they can travel any farther, he grabs them by their ankle and shouts “Die!” as he flies downward, slamming them into the ground. Finally, he backflips away and shouts “Watch it!” before firing a Kamehameha
Tenma Defense: -Future Gohan charges his ki, using it to summon a large white barrier that either knocks opponents away or deflects attacks
Solar Flare: -Future Gohan places his hand close to the center of his face with the fingers spread toward his eyes. He then calls out the technique’s name as a white light flashes outward, blinding everyone in the surrounding area -Mainly used to gain the upper hand, make a hasty retreat, or set up a more complicated attack without fear of interruption -Never used on screen, but in the Dragon Ball Super manga Trunks says that Future Gohan taught him this move
Special Beam Cannon: -Future Gohan raises his index and middle finger to his forehead and begins charging ki between them. After a few seconds, he points them forward, producing two thin beams, one being straight and the other coiled around the first -Capable of drilling through its target, and it will explode against them should they prove too durable to pierce
Power up to the Very Limit: -Lets Future Gohan regain all of his ki while also providing a slight increase to all of his stats
Forms:
Super Saiyan: -Multiplies his base power by 50x -Evidenced by his hair and aura becoming gold, while his eyes turn green -Obtained after witnessing the deaths of the other Z-Fighters
Weaknesses: -Despite his strength, he’s nowhere near as powerful as his present counterpart -Lacks the use of his left arm, which greatly hinders his abilities in combat -Has a limited supply of Senzu beans -Has a finite amount of ki -Super Saiyan drains him of his energy the longer he uses it -Senzu beans have limits to what they can heal, as they can’t cure diseases or regrow severed limbs -The Future Trunks arc rendered his sacrifice worthless
(“You know you can’t win! You can’t destroy what I really am! Even if you manage to kill this body, someone even stronger would surface and take my place! Not one death will go unaccounted for, not one!”)
——————————————————
Baiken Alias: The Lone Samurai Age: Unknown, but should at least be a little over 170 Height: 5’4 Weight: 100 lbs Occupation: Samurai, Guardian to Kum Haehyun (Xrd REV 2) First Appearance: Guilty Gear (May 14, 1998) Themes:
Feats: General -Survived the destruction of her village when she was a child -Trained herself in swordsmanship so she could hunt down Asuka R. Kreutz (AKA That Man) for his role in destroying her village
Guilty Gear -Entered the Second Sacred Order Tournament in order to seek out That Man and get revenge on Justice, the Gear responsible for Japan’s destruction -Though she was eventually forced to retreat after Justice overwhelmed her
Guilty Gear Xtra -Briefly fought with Ky Kiske, with the battle ending inconclusively due to interference from Tyr
Guilty Gear X -Nearly killed Testament and Dizzy, only choosing to let them live because she was more focused on finding That Man
Guilty Gear XX All Paths: -Defeated I-No, Robo-Ky, Zappa, Bridget, and Anji Mito Path 1: -Defeated I-No (again) and Potemkin -Managed to locate That Man, but was unable to kill him Path 2: -Defeated a brainwashed May and Robo-Ky (again) -Learned of the Post-War Administration Bureau’s existence after defeating Robo-Ky Path 3: -Defeated I-No and Anji again -After defeating Anji, chose to spare his life in exchange for all of his knowledge on That Man
Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus All Paths: -Defeated Potemkin, Robo-Ky, and I-No Path 1: -Defeated Johnny, May, Jam, Eddie, and Anji -Reluctantly began traveling with Anji Path 2: -Had a brief spar with a suppressed Slayer, which ended inconclusively -Defeated A.B.A, Venom, Chipp Zanuff, Justice, and I-No (again) -Killed I-No and became an infamous serial killer
Guilty Gear Isuka -Defeated Leopaldon, a Megadeth class Gear -Megadeth class Gears have enough power to wipe out an entire civilization
Guilty Gear Judgment -While searching for a bar, saved a village that had been overrun by monsters -Destroyed a living three-headed pillar -Mercy-killed a woman who had been forcibly fused to a giant plant monster -Killed a giant, mutated wolf -Killed Inus, the king of the Underworld -Murdered Judgment, a sorcerer who had absorbed Inus’ powers
Guilty Gear Dust Strikers -Killed Gig, a massive insectoid Gear
Guilty Gear Xrd REV 2 -Defeated Answer, the personal assistant of Chipp -Swore her life to protect Kum Haehyun -During an attack on the Colony, defended Haehyun alongside May and Answer
The year was 2073. Thanks to the efforts of the scientist Asuka R. Kreutz, also known by the confusing alias of “That Man,” the long-abandoned Gear Project had finally begun to make progress toward advancing evolution. By combining the DNA of various species with the cryogenically preserved cells of his deceased friend Aria Hale, Asuka had managed to create Justice, the first complete member of the Gears, a race created by combining the best aspects of multiple species.
Unfortunately, this progress would soon hit a snag thanks to the efforts of a being known as the Merciless Apocalypse, who would harvest Justice’s DNA and unleash it upon the nation of Japan. The Gear cells would mutate most of Japan’s population which, when combined with the spacial anomalies known as Information Flares, led to the infected becoming incredibly dangerous and unstable Anti-Matter Gears. The Information Flares would begin to merge reality with the Backyard, another dimension that would disintegrate both the body and soul of whatever enters it. Realizing this, Asuka would be forced to activate Justice and use her Gamma Ray to destroy Japan, an act that he would regret for the rest of his life.
Those who survived the nation’s destruction would be placed under the care of the United Nations and placed in special colonies. Unfortunately, these were still vulnerable to attack, as Justice would show when she commanded her Gears to lay waste to one of the villages. One of the few survivors of this massacre would be Baiken, a child who had witnessed the bloody deaths of her parents and friends after having her left eye gouged out and her right arm severed. Amidst the flames of her village, she could see the silhouette of That Man, and she would swear vengeance upon him and his creations. From that day forward, Baiken committed herself to learning the ways of swordsmanship and began collecting a series of tools for one purpose: to hunt down That Man and the Gears so she could make them pay for what they’d done.
Strength: -Her sword strikes are strong enough to send a giant, mutated wolf crashing through a metal wall -Can slice a washitsu house and its surroundings in half with one strike -Is able to effortlessly lift and slam someone into the ground with enough force that they spin through the air multiple times -Keep in mind that she’s able to do this to the likes of Bedman, who weighs 1,468 lbs (counting his bed), and Potemkin, who weighs 2,672 lbs -Sliced through a massive Gear arm -Traded blows with Ky, who has been able to match Sol blow-for-blow -Her strikes are strong enough to nearly kill Testament and Dizzy -Traded blows with Zappa, Bridget, Anji, Potemkin, I-No, May, Robo-Ky, Eddie, A.B.A, Venom, a suppressed Slayer, Chipp, and Answer -Destroyed Robo-Ky -Stabbed I-No to death
Speed: -Kept up with Justice, who can move at MFTL+ speeds -Kept up with Zappa, Bridget, Anji, Potemkin, May, Robo-Ky, Eddie, A.B.A, Venom, a suppressed Slayer, Chipp, and Answer -Escaped a collapsing lava pit in the span of a few seconds -Managed to escape a collapsing castle within seconds -Has been shown to match Ky in speed -Ky has been able to keep up with Sol, who is vastly superior to Jack-O’
Durability: -Survived the loss of her right arm and having her left eye gouged out when she was a child -Shrugged off multiple attacks from Zappa, Bridget, Anji, Potemkin, I-No, May, Robo-Ky, Eddie, A.B.A, Venom, a suppressed Slayer, Chipp, Justice, and Answer -Took hits from Ky, who has clashed with Sol numerous times
Skills:
Expert Swordsmanship: -Despite being self-taught, Baiken’s expertise in swordsmanship has allowed her to repeatedly go toe-to-toe with Ky, a veteran soldier and commander of the International Police Force
Weapons Mastery: -Has incorporated various weapons into her fighting style (See “Weapons and Equipment” below)
Personality: -Is aggressive, brash, impulsive, and antisocial, motivated solely by revenge with a strong desire to kill That Man -Post XX, she’s noticeably mellowed out, becoming more expressive toward others and less obsessed with pursuing That Man -Rather foul-mouthed, often cursing violently when irritated or angered -Holds an intense hatred toward Gears due to their role in her family’s deaths -Has occasionally expressed pride in her heritage, though she hates how people treat the Japanese like a special race -Is willing to accept the consequences of her actions and has condemned herself to damnation for her sins -Has a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later -Will violently threaten anyone who attempts to obstruct her goals, including children -Enjoys drinking sake
Weapons and Equipment:
Katana: -Strong enough to cut through most Gears without issue -Is extremely durable, being able to hold up in multiple clashes with Thunderseal, a blade charged with electricity -The only visible damage it’s taken was a light chip after failing to cut through Dizzy -Implied by Slayer to be sentient, with a strong desire for bloodshed
Demon Tools: -A group of weapons Baiken hides within the sleeve of her severed arm -Consists of a Japanese mace, a feudal cannon, a bladed fan, a chain rope, a grappling hook, a claw, and a spear
Powers:
Ki Manipulation: -Can manipulate the ki in her body and use it to fire massive, short-range energy blasts
Magic: -Baiken can use magic to summon tatami mats (See “Moveset” below)
Immortality: -Seems to possess some type of immortality, as she’s been alive ever since the destruction of Japan, which occurred over a century prior, yet hasn’t visibly aged past her 20’s or 30’s -Though she can still be physically injured or killed
Moveset:
Tatami Gaeshi: -Baiken uses magic to summon a tatami mat near her and proceeds to stomp on it, smacking any nearby opponents and sending them flying -Can also be used in the air, though the mat will almost immediately drop to the ground
Youshijin: -Baiken thrusts an anchor into the ground with enough force that it comes back up almost immediately after -Mainly used to deal with aerial opponents
Zakuro: -Baiken pulls out a giant bladed pinwheel that spins several times, skewering anyone who gets close -Can only be done diagonally -Used to counter aerial opponents
Azami: -Baiken holds her blade in front of her in a defensive position, allowing her to block enemy attacks -Is able to block multiple attacks at once -Can also be used in midair
Kuchinashi: -An upward slash followed by a trail of pink energy -Mainly used as a followup to Azami or Suzuran
Mawarikomi: -Baiken dashes behind her opponent -Followup to Azami or Suzuran
Sakura: -A straight jab coated in pink energy -Followup from Azami or Suzuran
Rokkonsogi: -Baiken dashes forward, slashes at the opponent, and appears behind them -Followup from Azami, Kabari, or Suzuran
Yashagatana: -Baiken unveils a shotgun from her sleeve and fires it -Can be used after Azami or Suzuran
Tsubaki: -Baiken moves forward as she performs a midair spinning slash -Used after an aerial Azami
Ouren: -Baiken leaps across the stage and somersaults past her opponent, slashing them across the back -Used after a midair Azami
Kikyou: -Baiken slashes downward -Mainly used in midair. If used on the ground, Baiken will leap forward before performing the move
Kabari: -Baiken throws out a grappling claw to grab her opponent from afar and reel them in -As seen above, she can also perform it diagonally
Tetsuzansen: -In Accent Core R, Baiken thrusts her katana through the air and follows up with a spinning diagonal slash -In Xrd, Baiken stomps on the ground, releasing a small pillar of pink energy -Can be used as a followup from Kabari
Himawari: -Baiken rushes toward the opponent, grabs them, leaps through the air, and drops them headfirst with enough force that they spin through the air multiple times -Mainly used as a followup from Kabari
Suzuran: -Baiken rushes forward, holding her sword in a defensive position and its hilt in her mouth as she does so
Youzansen: -Baiken spins through the air, slashing with a giant bladed fan as a trail of sakura petals fall behind her -Mainly used in midair. If used on the ground, Baiken will leap into the air before performing the move
Force Breaks:
Baku: -Baiken pauses for a brief moment before smacking the opponent with one of three different types of kanji, each having a different effect: -Sakura (桜) prevents them from dashing, backdashing, or jumping -Tsuki (月) makes them enter a counter-hit state that increases the amount of damage they receive -Tsuru (鶴) prevents them from blocking Baiken’s next attack -Each effect lasts for about 14 seconds
Triple Tatami Gaeshi: -Baiken stomps on the ground, this time summoning three tatami mats that simultaneously smack the opponent away
Overdrives:
Tsurane Zanzuwatashi: -Baiken stomps on the ground before delivering an underhanded upward slash and a low sweeping slash. She then swings her blade through the air as the image of a moon bearing the kanji for Heaven, Earth, and man suddenly appears. Once it appears in full, she finishes with a final, energy-charged slash
Metsuda Kushoudou: -Performed after a successful Azami or Suzuran -Baiken turns around, her back facing the opponent as she fires off several grappling hooks that slam them into the air and latch onto an object behind them. She then reels herself forward, performing an iaijutsu quickdraw slash on the airborne opponent
Instant Kills:
[1:19 to 1:28]
Tate Shunmaku: -Baiken crouches for a brief moment before dashing past the opponent and sheathing her sword. The opponent is then launched through the air as their body is slashed multiple times
[2:44 to 2:59]
Garyo Tensei: -In Guilty Gear XX, Baiken rushes toward the opponent. Should she make contact, she will cut through them before sheathing her blade, revealing that they have somehow teleported to a room. After several seconds, the opponent’s blood splatters on the wall as they lifelessly fall to the ground -In Guilty Gear Xrd, Baiken cuts through the opponent as they teleport inside of a washitsu house. The sliding doors then close behind her and the opponent. After a fish hops through the garden’s pond, the doors become splattered in the opponent’s blood as both the house and its surroundings are sliced in half. Baiken then sits cross-legged and lights her pipe -Interestingly, some of Baiken’s dialogue after completing this move suggests that the opponent is still alive, though it’s likely they’ve been left heavily injured
Weaknesses: -Has an extremely short fuse -Is somewhat stubborn -Lacks the use of her left eye and right arm, though this doesn’t seem to affect her in battle -Fighting style heavily relies on combos and focuses on defense over offense -Possesses few ranged options -Some of her Demon Tools (like the grappling hook, claw, or mace) can be rendered useless in certain environments -Has a chronic smoking habit -Suffers from PTSD over Japan’s destruction
(“Winning and losing doesn’t mean a thing. I’ll survive, and I’ll keep fighting… Until I find That Man.”)
Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all! It’s time for a Death Battle!
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South City, 12:30 p.m.
Throughout the bustling streets of South City, two people were turning the heads of everyone surrounding them. The first was a young blonde woman who wore a fanciful pink dress. Her hair had been tied in a chignon, though there were several strands that stuck out from the sides of her head. But it wasn’t this woman that was drawing everyone’s attention. That honor went to the man she was holding onto.
He was tall, with an extremely handsome face and a well-built body that would’ve made most men feel self-conscious. His brown hair was short and unkempt, with some of his bangs shooting out in the form of spikes. Despite this, it wasn’t his face or body that was drawing their attention; rather, it was his incredibly… odd attire.
His upper body was covered by a dark green tank top that cut off above his navel, showing off his chiseled midriff. A pair of blue pants covered his legs, with a leather belt being used to hold them up; and his feet were obscured by a pair of knee-length leather boots. Wrapped around his neck was a long, green scarf adorned with yellow stripes. His hands were covered by a pair of green fingerless gloves that were studded at the knuckles, and it was the left of said hands that seemed to be drawing everyone’s attention. The reason for this was a simple one: rather than being flesh and blood, it appeared to be a prosthetic made of metal.
This was Joseph Joestar, grandson of Jonathan Joestar and, unbeknownst to the general populace, the savior of humanity. Only a month prior, he had beaten the Pillar Men, a race of ancient creatures who wished to conquer their weakness to the Sun. Currently, he was on his honeymoon with Suzi Q, his newlywed wife. She had convinced him to spend their time in Japan, and they were currently touring the metropolis known as South City in search of somewhere to eat.
“Oh, that looks like it would be perfect!” Suzi said excitedly as she grabbed hold of his arm.
“Hey! Wait! Suzi Q!” Joseph called out, sounding slightly irritated as his wife unintentionally dragged him around.
Three minutes later, an annoyed Joseph was sitting at one of the many tables adorning the restaurant, which was apparently called Satan Cafe. Suzi Q was sitting across from him, the expression on her face indicating that she was enjoying her meal. Joseph was also eating, albeit at a slower rate. He could feel his stomach turning, but it wasn’t from the food. No, that was decent. His problem was with literally everything else!
The cafe’s furniture, accessories, the dozens of framed pictures and news clippings- hell, this entire place was dedicated to Hercule Satan, a martial artist who had become world-famous after defeating an infamous monster known as Cell. When he’d first heard this bit of news, Joseph had scoffed.
From what he’d heard on both the radio and the news reports, that “Cell” guy had been responsible for wiping out an entire military base’s worth of men and vehicles. So hearing that one man could beat someone like that with only a single karate chop had Joseph doubtful. What he’d seen in the interviews, skimmed from the surrounding clippings, and watched from the clips of martial arts tournaments playing on the mini TVs was only pouring fuel to the fire. In the span of a few seconds, he’d basically figured Hercule out.
For all his boasting and fame, this guy was nothing more than an arrogant jackass who was way too obsessed with his own image and backed out of a fight when met with a more powerful foe. In short, this guy’s reputation was full of crap, and it pissed Joseph off. Here he was, putting his life on the line to save the world from evil, and this asshole was getting everything a man could ever want after faking a victory against a similar threat!
Despite this, the Brit quickly calmed himself down and continued eating. It would only be a few more days here, then they’d be heading back to New York. It was nothing to get so worked up over. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin his honeymoon with Suzi.
‘And really,’ he thought to himself, ‘what are the chances we’d meet Hercule Satan in here, of all places? He probably doesn’t even know this restaurant exists!’
Unbeknownst to Joseph, he couldn’t have been any more wrong in thinking this, as the very man he was thinking about was currently making his way down the street. With every step that Mark “Hercule” Satan took, another member of the surrounding populace flocked over to him, likely to shower him with praise or attempt to get him to sign their autographs. Standing in front of the crowd of fans were several cameramen or newscasters, all of them pointing their microphones or cameras at him and bombarding him with questions.
Despite the headache-inducing screamfest that surrounded him, Mr. Satan was somehow managing to keep a straight face as he attempted to answer everyone’s request, though this was quickly degrading with each passing step. This continued for several minutes until the champ, with visible exasperation on his face, turned to the crowd and flashed a fake grin.
“Alright, folks! I know you all have some autographs or merchandise for me to sign, but you’ll need to wait until my interview’s over. That okay?” Upon hearing this, his audience quieted down and began muttering in agreement. With a sigh of relief, Mr. Satan turned around-
BONK!
-and immediately smacked into a microphone that had been pointed at him. Stumbling back, Hercule could just barely be heard briefly muttering several curses under his breath as he rubbed his injured cheek. After massaging his new injury, he looked back at the mic, only to then shift his gaze to one of the nearby cameras.
“Sorry about that, Mr. Satan, but I needed to ask this question: what’s your opinion on the new restaurant that was just opened down the street?” The bearded newscaster asked, holding his mic centimeters from the celebrity’s face.
“Uh… the new restaurant?” Hercule questioned as he looked around the area. Upon spotting the cafe that bore his namesake, he chuckled. “Oh, right… the Satan Cafe! Yeah, I was just about to check it out, maybe get some lunch there, just make sure they aren’t tryin’ to exploit my image for their own profit. I mean, I did work up a bit of an appetite during that last tournament!”
While this last part was somewhat true, it was also a bit of an excuse for him to try and get the paparazzi off his back. Yeah, he appreciated their support, but he couldn’t possibly focus on the interview and satisfying their requests at the same time. Each question needed some time for him to respond, and a crowd of fans roaring in your ear made the chances of that happening nigh-impossible. He could only hope the fans would be able to take the hint and leave him alone.
Unfortunately, it seemed that he had placed too much trust in their intelligence. One minute later, and the visibly annoyed champ could hear the entire crowd follow into the restaurant, all of them sporting eager expressions and talking rather loudly. He wasn’t the only one to share this sentiment, as Joseph sat at his booth, completely gobsmacked at what he was seeing.
‘I just had to open my mouth, didn’t I? And the paparazzi with him, too? Great! This- this is just perfect! Now we’re going to have to deal with this guy’s ego AND his army of fans! You might as well gag me right now!’ He thought furiously as he watched the waiters take Mr. Satan and the crowd to their seats. As if the Joestar’s luck couldn’t possibly get any worse, Hercule was now sitting several feet away from where he and Suzi Q were eating, with the fans constantly singing their hero’s praises. It was really starting to piss him off, and to make matters worse, the cameramen had started rolling once again!
“Jimmy Firecracker here, and with me is the man himself! You know him, you love him, you buy his merchandise no matter what it is! Standing right behind me in the Satan Cafe is none other than the longest-running champion of the World Martial Arts Tournament, the man responsible for killing Cell himself, Mr. Sa-“
“Hold it right there!” A British-accented voice called out, causing the entire crowd- including Hercule himself- to look toward its direction in shock. No one had ever dared to interrupt an interview with Mr. Satan before, but Joseph Joestar was more than willing to be the first! The second JoJo had his index finger pointed forward, aimed directly at the champ’s face.
“What’s this?” Jimmy asked in surprise. “It seems that some rude delinquent is trying to interrupt the champ’s latest interview! Who would have the nerve- nay, the gall to-“
“I’ve had it up to here with hearing everyone sing your praises, Hercule!” Joseph announced, cutting off Jimmy’s accusations. “Everywhere I go, people are talking about how you’re the ‘savior of the people,’ ‘the man who defeated Cell,’ and I gotta say, it’s kinda impressive.”
“Well, tha-“ Hercule began, but his accuser quickly cut him off.
“Impressive how you’ve managed to convince everyone of your bullshit!” At hearing this, everyone in the crowd gasped, though whether it was because of the accusation or the foul language was anyone’s guess. “I’ve seen your performances in the martial arts tournaments and against Cell! How you’ve convinced anyone with those poor attempts at acting is beyond me, but I’m going to show everyone here what you really are: a lying, arrogant coward!”
This accusation caused everyone in the audience to gasp once again, this time in surprise. Among them was Mr. Satan himself, his expression contorting into one of visible shock.
‘Wait, WHAT? J-just who is this guy, and how’d he figure me out? He’s not one of those guys from the Cell Games, is he?’ Upon getting a closer look at his accuser, he quickly determined that wasn’t the case, but that still didn’t change a thing. He needed to defend himself before this guy tried running his mouth any further!
“Oh yeah?” Hercule asked, trying his best to mask the panic in his voice as he looked Joseph in the eye. “And where’s your proof? Unless you can magically prove that I’ve been lying this whole time, that hearsay of yours doesn’t mean crap!”
“Oh, I’ve got all the evidence right here.” JoJo said as he pointed toward one of the TVs sitting behind him. Displayed on the monitor was one of the champ’s tournament performances, where he began kneeling and complaining about his stomach upon noticing that his opponent was still raring to go. “Oh, the pain! My stomach! Ah, it hurts!” The Hercule on TV complained, his tone sounding horribly unconvincing.
“Pretty convenient how you just so happened to get a stomach ache when you realized you had no chance of winning.” Joseph pointed out. The crowd looked over to Mr. Satan, waiting for his response.
“Well, that was jus-“
“Or how about your performance at the Cell Games, where you ‘beat’ Cell?” The Brit cut him off as the TV displayed footage of Mr. Satan charging forward, only for Cell to ring him out by nonchalantly backhanding him into a mountain.
“You’re taking that outta context! I slipped just before I could hit Cell!”
“Really? Then let’s see that footage again!” As he said this, Joseph walked over to the TV and, after taking a breath, injected some sort of golden energy into the device. The moment he did so, the video played once again, this time slowed down frame-by-frame. “Maybe you’d like to point out where exactly you slipped.”
“Of course I will! It was… uh…” the champ’s confidence quickly fell as he realized there wasn’t an exact frame where he could claim such a thing occurred. He couldn’t even say that the video had been edited, as it was clearly archived from live camera feed. This realization caused most of the audience to either begin eyeing their hero with suspicion, or murmur about what they’d just seen. They weren’t alone in this assessment either, as the millions of viewers watching this in their homes began noticing how their idol had frozen up at the Brit’s words. ‘Crap! This kid’s already picking me apart! Think, Mark, think! There’s gotta be some way to shut him up!’ As he tried mulling it over, Hercule’s ears picked up a shout from one of his fans in the background.
“Come on, Mr. Satan! Don’t let this guy push you around like that! You’ve fought Cell and Majin Buu! You’ve saved the world from the worst threats it’s ever faced! So, come on! Show this cocky bastard what happens when you try to tarnish the reputation of Hercule!” A young man in the middle row screamed, his voice loud enough that it drowned out the other members, all of whom went silent and looked at him in surprise. Turning around, Mark’s surprised expression met the hardened gaze of a short-haired brunette wearing a backwards yellow cap and periwinkle t-shirt.
Much to Mr. Satan’s surprise, another person- this one a raven-haired, ponytailed woman in a pink dress- was the next to speak up.
“Yeah, you can do it, Mr. Satan! I believe in you!” As she finished speaking, her husband followed suit. Then another one. And another one. And another one! Within the span of a few seconds, the entire restaurant- excluding Joseph and a seemingly oblivious Suzi Q- had risen to their feet, their voices shouting out passionate encouragement to their hero. Even the ones who’d begun doubting him were now raising their voices in support! This positive reinforcement was enough to snap the celebrity out of his concerned funk, and he proved quick to save face with a cocky smirk. Closing his eyes, the afro-sporting celebrity turned to face Joseph, arms confidently folded over his chest as he began chuckling.
“Heh, heh. Ehehehehe…” These chuckles then crescendoed, evolving into full-blown laughter. After a brief fit of confidence-fueled hysterics, the conman looked Joseph in the eye before he spoke. “Alright! Maybe I can’t point out where I slipped, but that doesn’t change a thing! If you want me to prove myself, then how ‘bout we settle this with a fight?”
After thinking it over for a second, Joseph responded to the offer.
“Sure! In fact, I know just the place to settle this. But first,” The Joestar paused and turned to address his wife, “Suzi, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Something just came up that needs my attention.” Suzi nodded in understanding, and with that Joseph and the others began making their way to the exit. They soon found themselves gathering in the restaurant’s parking lot, with Hercule confidently striding toward him. Crossing his arms once again, the champ began chuckling.
“So this is what ya had in mind, huh? Well, I can think of worse places to fight.” He admitted with a shrug. “Besides, it’s not like it matters where we take this, since either way you’re giving the entire world a front row seat to me proving myself to any other doubters that’re out there.”
“Or it’ll be a front row seat to me proving your entire career is a complete sham!” Joseph responded before dramatically pointing at him. “In fact, how would you feel about agreeing to a bet? If I win, you have to admit to the entire world- on camera- that you’re a fraud.”
“And what about when I win?” Mr. Satan smirked.
“If you win,” JoJo corrected, “then I’ll take back everything I accused you of. On live TV.”
“Alright. I think I can get behind that.” Hercule agreed as he entered a fighting stance. “Though it’s gonna be pretty embarrassing to propose something like that when our fight’ll only last for a few seconds.”
“Oh, you have no idea, Hercule.” Joseph responded, a cheeky grin on his face as he followed suit.
The crowd of fans waited, fully ready to witness their champ defend himself against this slanderer. Despite this, both combatants weren’t paying this any mind. They were too busy getting themselves psyched up for the fight. Brown eyes met blue as their bodies tensed up in preparation. Then, after what felt like an eternity, one of them chose to act!
Eager to prove himself to his fans, Hercule lunged forward and threw out a left cross. For a brief moment it seemed that the punch was about to make contact, but this changed when Joseph moved to the right, causing the celebrity to instead fly past him. Before Mr. Satan even had a chance to recover from this mistake, his opponent threw out a sweep kick, giving a sarcastic “oops” as he sent the mustached champion tumbling to the ground. Just as it seemed that Hercule was about to land face-first into the concrete, he planted his hands against the ground and pushed, shooting him into the air for a brief moment before coming back down with a loud CRASH!
Upon hitting the ground, Mr. Satan wasted no time in rushing toward Joseph, this time throwing a straight punch to the chest. The moment it made contact, the Brit found himself coughing up spittle, but he proved quick to recover. And he was just in time, too!
Believing he could exploit the brief opening in his adversary’s defenses, Mark began throwing out a swift combo of punches and kicks, all aimed at the vulnerable parts of Joseph’s body. One could imagine his shock as his opponent not only parried each one, but was doing so with an almost casual air! In fact, he was even going so far as to taunt him!
“You know, for someone who’s supposed to be an accomplished martial artist, you don’t seem to be getting in as many shots as I’d thought. Hell, if you’re going to miss me this much the least you could do is put some effort into your hits!” He joked in between blocking the punches.
“And just whaddya think I’m doing? Tryin’ to show off for the crowd by draggin’ this out?” Hercule asked irritably.
“Would it really surprise you if I answered yes?” Joseph responded, smirking. At hearing this, Mr. Satan’s glare hardened as he threw out a right hook. Much like the other times, however, this was quickly intercepted, this time by Joseph’s open palm.
“Seems like I touched a nerve there! Wonder why that is?” JoJo asked sarcastically as he gripped the captive fist. Desperate to get his opponent to shut up, Hercule attempted to go in for another punch, but history repeated itself as his target grabbed the other fist. “I mean, the only reason someone could be that quick to attack would be if they were hiding something. Maybe there’s something you’d like to share with the rest of the class, Herc- ack!”
Whatever Joseph was about to say became cut off as Mr. Satan slammed into him with a powerful headbutt, causing his grip to weaken. Realizing this opportunity wouldn’t last, Mark proved quick to throw out a swift combo.
“Those are some pretty big assumptions, kid! But unless you have the skills to back up what you’re sayin’…” Hercule responded as he laid down three crosses to the face before immediately following with nine rapid kicks to both the chest and stomach. As he noticed Joseph begin to recover, Satan grabbed hold of his jacket. “You’re all washed-up!” He finished as he threw the Joestar several feet through the air.
Quickly leaping after him, Hercule threw out another swift barrage of punches, delivering 20 blows within the span of a few seconds. As they hit their peak of ascension, the champ cupped both hands together and reeled them back, fully prepared to send the trickster crashing back down to Earth! Unfortunately, he would learn the hard way that his opponent had recovered faster than expected, as Joseph proved by suddenly backflipping through the air. Both boot-clad feet slammed into Hercule’s chin, striking with enough force to reverse his momentum and send him hurtling through the air. They landed almost immediately, Joseph perfectly on his feet and Hercule unceremoniously onto the cement back-first. In spite of the rough landing, he proved quick to leap back to his feet, and upon doing so he heard Joseph call out to him.
“Smooth landing there, man.” He said sarcastically, a grin still on his face as he watched Hercule’s brow crease. “If you ever get tired of fighting, you could try applying for a crash test dummy. After all, you’ve got a lot in common: you’re both thick-skulled and seem to be gluttons for punishment.”
“And maybe after you lose this fight, you could focus on becoming a comedian, since ya sure love to hear yourself talk!” Mr. Satan taunted as he ran toward Joseph once again. While closing the distance between them, he reeled back his fist, preparing to deliver a straight punch to Joseph’s face.
“Thanks for the suggestion,” JoJo began as the fist sailed toward him, pausing for a slight moment to catch the fist in his hand. “But I’d rather not follow the advice of a clown like you.”
As he said this, Joseph gripped the hand and yanked it forward, taking Hercule along with it. Just as they were about to collide with each other, he suddenly threw out a knee strike, forcing the conman to cough up spittle.
“In fact,” Joseph offered as he grabbed hold of Satan’s gi, “why don’t we start your circus career now?”
Before Hercule even had a chance to respond, his attacker threw him into the air, eliciting a series of surprised screams and “WHOA”’s from the airborne celebrity. He was violently flapping his arms through the air, almost as if in a vain attempt to fly, but this attempt would soon come to an end as he met his destination: a table on the outskirts of the Satan Cafe, one that was still covered by an uneaten plate of spaghetti, a knife, and a glass of soda.
The moment he landed on the table, it snapped in two, causing him to crash onto the ground as the table’s occupants were launched into the air. The spaghetti, fork still sitting atop its plate, was soaring into the air, while the knife had managed to shave off a small patch of Hercule’s afro and sent it onto the plate’s edge. As he watched the plate begin its descent, Joseph’s mind went into overdrive as he lunged forward and caught it, already planning several things he could use it for. Looking down, he noticed the clump of hair and quickly grabbed hold of it, stuffing the seemingly mundane item into his jacket.
Meanwhile, Hercule was in the middle of getting back to his feet, groaning in pain as he did so. The first thing he noticed was Joseph now twirling a forkful of spaghetti from the plate. ‘The hell’s this guy doing?’ He thought to himself before speaking aloud. “Hey, ya know we’re still fighting, right? Maybe you should try waiting ‘til we’re done to get a victory snack!”
“Oh, this isn’t a victory snack. It’s just something I wanted to test out. With how poorly you’ve been at fighting hand-to-hand, I bet I could beat you even with this plate of spaghetti!” Joseph boasted.
“Hahahaha! You must be joking, right? And how exactly do you plan to use somethin’ like that in a fight?” Hercule asked cockily.
“Well, since you’re so curious, why don’t I give you a demonstration?” Joseph asked before taking a deep breath. The moment he did so, a golden energy spread throughout the fork, entering into the noodles and causing them to straighten out. In tandem with this, the sauce sitting atop the pasta shot forward, hitting Hercule in the eyes faster than he could’ve hoped to react. A pained scream emerged from his throat as he rubbed his eyes, desperate to ease the pain of several dozen spices hitting him in the corneas. While this occurred, Joseph pulled each of the noodles back before suddenly releasing them, causing each one to rocket forward. They made contact with Hercule almost immediately, eliciting a grunt of pain as the edible ammunition became embedded in his pecs.
“Ah! What the-“ he asked as his vision returned, allowing him to see the impromptu projectiles that had hit him. Confused by this, he grabbed hold of each one, upon which a golden energy exited out of them and made them go limp. The moment this happened, Mr. Satan let out a high-pitched scream as he threw them away. ‘Oh God, what was that? W-was it that ki stuff that Goku and those other guys used?’ He thought fearfully, only for his gaze to shift back to the audience of fans watching the fight unfold. Upon seeing their confused reactions to what had just occurred, he cleared his throat and began speaking, making sure his voice was loud and clear enough to mask his internal terror. “Well, what do we have here? Looks like Mr. High and Mighty over there’s decided to try resortin’ to some cheap parlor tricks to try and one-up me!”
“Excuse me?” Joseph said, his voice loud enough to be heard over the vicious booing of Mr. Satan’s fanbase. He was insulted, not only by Hercule’s accusation of needing to cheat to win, but also by what he’d just said about his Hamon skills. “So after what just hit you, you think my Hamon’s all fake?”
“Well, yeah! I mean, if it was legitimate, why wouldn’t I be able to use it? After all, if some phony like you could use it, why wouldn’t an accomplished martial arts champion- like myself- be able to do the same thing?” Hercule responded, a cocky grin on his face as he folded his arms over his chest.
“Oh, I could think of several reasons, but let me assure you, my Hamon is 100% genuine!” Joseph defended, giving a wry grin as he continued with “In fact, I’ll even prove it to you!”
As these words left his mouth, the brunette began focusing the Sun-like energy into his plate, forcing it to spread through his makeshift weapon. Once his meal was filled to the brim, Joseph let out a shout of “Overdrive” as he threw the plate like a frisbee, causing it to hurtle toward Hercule at supersonic speeds. Despite having little time to react, its would-be target still managed to throw himself to the side, causing it to sail right past him. Before he could make a sly comment, however-
The spaghetti exploded like a time bomb, sending its sauce and dozens of blade-like noodles into Mr. Satan’s back. The spices in the condiment irritated his skin, while the noodles were causing a stinging pain to spread throughout his back. But if Joseph thought this was enough to keep Hercule down, however, he was dead wrong!
With nothing more than a brief flex of his muscles, the noodles shot back out of Hercule’s body, causing him to sigh in relief. ‘Looks like this guy’s decided to start cuttin’ loose!’ He thought as he rubbed his now sore back. ‘Then, in that case, I guess it’s only fair I do the same!’ With this thought in mind, he looked back at JoJo and smirked.
“Alright, kid. You wanna start fighting dirty?” He asked as he reached into the side of his gi and pulled out a new weapon: a .45 caliber pistol. His smirk morphed into a wide grin as he continued with “Then let’s start bringing out some real weapons!”
“Alright, then! But before I unveil mine, why don’t I be a good sport about this and let you get the first shot?” Upon hearing this, Mr. Satan’s steel gaze faltered a bit.
“W-what?” He asked, sounding heavily confused. He figured this guy would back off once he saw how serious the fight would get, or that he’d be even the slightest bit worried at having a gun pointed at his face. Offering to let him take the first shot wasn’t what the newfound gunslinger had expected! Was this some kind of trick? Was he planning something?
“Some time this year, old man!” Joseph snapped, sounding slightly annoyed at his opponent’s indecisiveness.
“Huh?” Mr. Satan asked in confusion, Joseph’s response having cut off his thought process.
“You heard me! You’ve got a pistol pointed straight at me- fully loaded, no doubt- and your finger’s already on the trigger! Are you going to fire, or was your plan to just try and intimidate me by showing that you were willing to bring it to this level?”
“Uh… well, I… Hey! What’s that over there?!” Hercule shouted as he pointed behind Joseph, praying his opponent would take the bait. At hearing this, Joseph’s eyes narrowed as his already irritated brow furrowed even more.
“Do you really expect me to fall for that?” He asked bluntly. “A five year old might fall for that kind of crap, but what makes you think that I, a goddamn adult, would make the same mistake?”
“Um…” Mark gulped. ‘Crap! Looks like this guy’s smarter than he looks!’
‘Just how the hell did this jackass become the “Champion of Martial Arts,” let alone the “Savior of the World”? At this point I’m thinking the only way he could’ve beaten Cell was if the poor bastard laughed himself to death!’ JoJo thought furiously.
‘Alright! Maybe I can’t psyche him out, but I can still just go for the old-fashioned way!’ Mr. Satan declared internally, punctuating it by pointing the .45 caliber at Joseph’s torso.
“Oh, what do we have here? Looks like someone finally remembered they have a gun in their hands.” Joseph said, faux amazement in his voice before it returned to normal. “Now the only question remains, will he be able to use it in time?”
“In time for what?”
“Oh, I’m glad you asked.” With this, JoJo quickly swiped something from one of the nearby tables. Pointing it forward, the champ saw what it was: a bottle of tequila, its cap pointed right at him. “Unless you fire your gun by the time I get to three, the cap on this tequila will shoot off and interrupt you right then and there! One… two…”
Though this ultimatum left him confused, Mr. Satan proved quick to take Joseph’s advice as he took aim with his pistol. Just as he prepared to pull the trigger, however-
“THREE!”
POP!
True to his word, the cap on Joseph’s tequila rocketed off, sent flying through the air by a stream of Hamon-charged alcohol. Bizarrely enough, it whizzed past Hercule, instead slamming into the ceiling above him. For a brief second, the supposed victim blinked in surprise once. Twice. Then, as he realized the makeshift ballistic had missed him entirely, he began chuckling, a cocky grin appearing on his face as he spoke.
“What was that? I could’ve sworn you said I’d be interrupted before I could-“
CONK!
The champ’s taunt was cut short as one of the light fixtures above him suddenly came loose and slammed onto his head, causing his eyes to go cartoonishly wide. As it fell off, Hercule took a brief moment to massage his now-aching head, thinking he’d still have time to attack Joseph once he was done.
One could only imagine his surprise when he looked up to see that the Joestar had closed the distance between them in that brief window of opportunity, making it known with a powerful kick to the face. A resounding CRACK could be heard as the exposed leg slammed into his nose, forcing the unfortunate conman to cry out in pain as he was sent hurtling through the air. Upon hitting the ground back-first, a loud noise could be heard as Hercule’s gun clattered against the terrain. Quickly scrambling toward it, the former student of Satan Castle reached out and snatched it from the ground. Then, with surprisingly swift reflexes, he aimed it toward Joseph and repeatedly pulled the trigger, sending five rounds flying through the air.
Upon being faced with the sight of these slugs rapidly approaching him, the Joestar’s only response was to smirk as he began focusing Hamon through his arm. Then, without a second to lose, he took out the clump of hair he’d grabbed earlier and tossed it through the air. The moment he did so, each individual strand rocketed forward, quickly straightening themselves out and bending their trajectory while still in midair. Within the span of a few microseconds, JoJo had taken a patch of Hercule’s seemingly worthless hair and formed it into some sort of makeshift barrier! And if this hadn’t been enough to surprise his opponent, what happened next would!
As it turned out, the barrier was actually managing to deflect the bullets with ease, with the slugs clattering to the ground each time they collided.
‘Alright, so my gun’s not makin’ the cut against that shield. There’s gotta be some other way to get rid of it! I mean, it’s just a bunch of hair! It can’t be too hard to break through, right?’ Hercule thought as he placed the pistol back into his gi and began searching for another capsule. Upon finding what he was looking for, the champ grinned as he pressed down on its top. The moment he did so, the bottle exploded into a smokescreen before revealing its contents: a lone hand grenade.
Quickly removing the pin, Mr. Satan wasted no time in throwing the pineapple forward, fully confident that it’d be enough to bust through the hair barrier. As he saw this, Joseph responded by diving out of the patio and to the right, intent on using one of the nearby vehicles as cover. Unfortunately, the explosive acted faster than he’d expected.
BOOM!
A massive burst of fire and smoke erupted outward, sending the Joestar flying toward his intended defense with enough force to create a painful CRUNCH! His shoulder had taken the full brunt of this landing, slamming into one of the doors with enough force to leave a visible dent.
“GAH! Sonuvabitch!“ he muttered under his breath as he nursed his newfound injury.
While this occurred, the explosion began clearing up, allowing a relieved Hercule to see that his plan had worked. Looking even further, a grin began to form on his face as he saw that Joseph was currently laying on the ground, still clutching his new shoulder.
“AHAHAHA! Well, looks like ya got a bit overconfident there! Just goes to show that some stuck-up punk who relies on tricks and glowy special effects can’t compare to a lifetime of good, old-fashioned training!” Hercule boasted as he sauntered toward the Brit, his arms triumphantly folded over his chest as he did so. The crowd burst into cheers. There was no doubt that Mr. Satan had won this! Now all that was left for him to deliver a coup de grâce to this slanderer!
But before he could even have the chance to do so, a new sound its way to the crowd’s ears. It was Joseph, chuckling as he pushed himself up.
“Would you care to repeat that?” He asked mockingly as he put one hand up to his right ear. “Are you saying you can take whatever I dish out, no matter what it is, just because of how hard you’ve trained?”
“Ya got that right, kid! It doesn’t matter what you pull out! I’ve got your number, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!” Hercule responded, emphasizing his point by dramatically pointing at his recovering adversary.
“Really? Then let’s test that, shall we?” Joseph asked rhetorically, a cheeky grin on his face as he lowered a hand into his coat. “You just stay right there,” he offered as he grabbed hold of something sticking out of its flaps, “and we’ll see how confident you are after taking a few rounds from THIS!”
As he spoke that last word, the trickster suddenly whipped out a Tommy gun, which he’d seemingly pulled from the confines of his suit, and aimed it forward. The sight caused everyone in the audience to gasp in shock, with Mr. Satan taking a step back in fear as sweat ran down his face.
“W-wait a minute! That’s cheating, isn’t it? Come on, kid! W-why don’t ya try and fight fair?” Hercule pleaded, constantly stuttering due to his nervousness.
“Clearly you’ve been spending too much time in the spotlight, old man! We’re not fighting in a tournament, so anything’s fair game here! I could’ve sworn you knew that from the start, or are you forgetting about how you pulled a gun on me a minute ago?” Joseph pointed out, sounding slightly irritated as he reminded his adversary of the last fact.
“Um- well-“ whatever Mr. Satan was about to say died in his throat as he watched his opponent point the SMG directly at his chest. With panic overtaking his mind, the champ let his instincts take over and dove to the side just as JoJo pulled the trigger. The bullet missed its intended target by several inches, but the sound of it impacting the concrete was enough to send the crowd into a frenzy. Everyone was running around in an desperate attempt to avoid any further gunfire, but none of them were more desperate to survive than Hercule, who had wasted no time in ducking behind a nearby car as several rounds flew past his head. ‘Just how crazy is this guy? First he’s using food as a weapon, then he’s attacking me with beer, then he’s defending himself with hair, and now he’s opening fire in public? Where’d he even get that Tommy gun?’ While these thoughts ran through his head, the World Champion reached into his gi once again, this time unveiling a blue capsule. ‘Well, if he wants to pull crap outta thin air, maybe I’ll do the same!’
With a grin on his face, he pressed down on the capsule’s top button and tossed it to the ground. A smokescreen shot out for a split-second before almost immediately vanishing to reveal the secret weapon Mr. Satan had up his nonexistent sleeve.
“Alright, kid! Maybe I couldn’t take a few of those rounds from that Tommy of yours, but let’s see if you can handle something like THIS!” The World Tournament winner shouted as he unveiled his newest weapon, causing Joseph’s eyes to widen in shock at what it was. Resting above Hercule’s shoulder was a massive rocket launcher, its barrel aimed right at his torso.
“OH SHIT!” The Joestar shouted as his opponent pulled the trigger, firing off four rockets that rushed toward him at supersonic speeds. For an ordinary person, they likely would’ve been blown up before they even had time to process what was heading toward them. For a Hamon user like Joseph, however, the missiles were moving slower than molasses, giving him enough time to recover from his momentary surprise. Closing his eyes, the trickster took a deep breath, causing Hamon to begin encompassing his body once more. Then, upon opening them, they began to shine with determination as he raised the now Hamon-charged Tommy gun to chest-level. With a quick bit of mental math, Joseph fired off one energy-infused round, aiming at enough of an angle that the frontmost rocket exploded upon contact, with the Ripple creating a burst of energy that flowed through the shrapnel and sent it flying back. This would result in a chain reaction as the debris sliced through the other rockets, creating more explosions that coated the entire street in smoke.
Despite the smoke blinding him and the overwhelming cries of surprise from the crowd, JoJo’s Hamon-enhanced senses allowed him to hear the otherwise inaudible sound of Mr. Satan rushing toward him, no doubt attempting to capitalize on his perceived blindness. Unbeknownst to the fake hero, Joseph was also planning to capitalize on its existence, albeit in a far different way!
Hercule rushed through the smokescreen, having armed himself with the rocket launcher’s barrel to serve as a makeshift bludgeon. He was only a few inches from where he believed the Joestar had gone. Believing victory to be in his grasp, the champ swung his makeshift weapon with all his might…
Only to hit thin air, which was soon followed by the feeling of something grabbing hold of him from behind. Mr. Satan’s body tensed up upon realizing this, but before he could even try to free himself his mysterious captor cut him off. Rather than it being a punch or kick, however, they went for a more unorthodox method: roughly dragging their knuckles across his head and occasionally grinding them in. Although this noogie felt mildly uncomfortable at worst, it was about to become even more painful as his attacker slammed their knee into his face three times. While in the middle of these attacks, Hercule could’ve sworn he felt something wrap around his arm, but these thoughts were quickly silenced by a third blow. Once this final attack had connected, Hercule’s attacker, wasting no time, quickly released him and delivered a powerful kick that sent the celebrity tumbling across the ground. Upon coming to a complete stop, the champ looked back up and found himself staring his attacker in the face. Joseph responded to his opponent’s frown by flashing a larger grin before taking a deep breath as he gave the scarf in his hand a sharp tug- wait, what?
For a brief moment, Mr. Satan’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as he felt something tighten around his arm, followed by an overwhelming heat searing through his forearm. Looking toward its direction, he found himself in shock at what he saw. Wrapped around his wrist was Joseph’s own scarf, currently crackling with Hamon.
“Well, it seems you finally caught on! And here I was pegging you as the learn from experience type.” The Joestar jeered as he continued pouring Hamon through the fabric, focusing it into one target: Mr. Satan. The moment it made contact, the champion of martial arts felt the captive limb go completely numb, and the energy was proving quick to spread itself through the rest of his body! As this realization ran through his head, Hercule began rummaging through his gi, searching for the right weapon that could deal with this situation. Upon seeing this, Joseph cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Just what the hell was this guy trying to do?
Whatever it was, he didn’t plan to find out, as he personally demonstrated by violently pulling on his scarf. This decision proved to be a double-edged sword, however. On one hand, he had pulled Hercule closer toward him; on the other, his supposed target had already covered and was already preparing another attack: his infamous Dynamite Kick! The tournament champion was soaring toward JoJo at supersonic speeds, fully prepared to plant this slanderer in the dirt where he belonged! Just when it was inches from hitting him, though, the trickster noticed an opening in his attacker’s defense, and with a quick breath-
“Rebuff Overdrive!” Joseph threw out a Hamon-infused elbow, ramming it directly into Hercule’s crotch. The moment it made contact, Mr. Satan let out a high-pitched gasp of pain, one that was shared by all of the men in the crowd.
While this was occurring, Joseph’s Ripple-enhanced senses allowed him to notice several objects held tightly within the pockets hidden inside Satan’s gi. From what he could tell, their contents were entirely made up of some sort of capsules. ‘So this is what he was searching for, huh?’ JoJo thought to himself. For a moment he thought they might be painkillers, but he quickly brushed that thought aside. Given when Hercule had been looking for them, it’s safe to say these weren’t medication, especially considering how many there were! So that left one question: just what the hell were those capsules for?
His thoughts drifted back to two minutes prior, when Hercule had seemingly pulled that missile launcher from nowhere. At first he thought the old man was a fellow expert at legerdemain, but now he was beginning to question that notion. Turning his attention back to the current situation, he noticed that Mr. Satan’s gi was still open, leaving its contents exposed for him to see… and free to take! ‘Well, I guess we’ll see in a few seconds if this little hypothesis of mine actually holds water!’ Joseph smirked as he reached into Hercule’s pocket and swiped the capsule closest to his left. While quickly stuffing it in his jacket, JoJo also made sure to unwrap his scarf, put it back on, and quickly grabbed hold of a loose string he’d noticed dangling from the gi. His mind was already going into overdrive as he devised several plans for this seemingly minute action, all of them dedicated to exposing Hercule for the cheating bastard he is! While this was happening, his unfortunate opponent hit the pavement, landing with a loud THUMP!
“You… ugh… who’d go for… oagh!” Hercule struggled to speak as he got back to his feet, still reeling from the nut shot he’d just taken. The pain proved quick to fade, and with it he began calling Joseph out. “Who would go for a low blow like that in a fight?”
“Like I said a few seconds ago, anything’s fair game in a fight! Or are you finally showing your age, old man?” Joseph taunted, a cheeky grin on his face as he emphasized the last words. At hearing this, Mr. Satan’s expression briefly became one of irritation, but immediately after that something seemed to click, and he responded with a grin of his own.
“Heh, heh! I see what you’re doin’ there. You’re trying to get me all riled up, making me angry enough that you’ll be able to play me for a chump!” As he said this, Mr. Satan pointed forward before continuing by saying, “Well, you can keep dreaming! After all-“
“Next you’ll say, ‘there’s no way you can string me along that easily!’“ Joseph said, speaking in unison with Hercule. The moment he realized this, the tournament champ gasped in surprise, a reaction that was shared by the rest of the audience as JoJo grinned.
“And what makes you think I need to piss you off just to get inside your head? Even right now, I’ve already planned for whatever crap you try to pull!” Joseph asked, a grin still on his face.
“Is that so?” Mr. Satan asked with a smirk as he reached into his gi. “Then let’s see how you’ve planned to deal- uh…” Whatever boast he was about to make died in his throat as he found himself grasping at thin air. Confused by this, he began patting against his top in a desperate attempt to find what he needed, but to no avail. ‘What the-? I coulda sworn it was right here!’ He thought to himself as he continued rummaging around. Sweat was beginning to run down his face, a sign of his growing nervousness at the situation.
“What’s the matter? You’re looking a bit stressed out.” Joseph said, his tone almost taunting Hercule. Placing his free hand into his coat, he continued with “Maybe it’s because you’re busy looking for this?” As he finished speaking, the Joestar whipped his arm back out, revealing the capsule to both Mr. Satan and his audience.
Needless to say, the sight of his opponent pulling out the very item he was looking for left Mark bewildered. As he watched his adversary’s expression become contorted, Joseph grinned before declaring, “And now you’ll say, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen that before in my life!’”
Seemingly unaware of what his opponent had just said, Mr. Satan looked back at him, his confused expression becoming a dismissive smirk as he spoke.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen that before in my life!” He chuckled, only to gasp in shock as he realized that Joseph had just played him for a fool once again.
“Is that so?” The trickster responded, cocking an eyebrow as he smirked. “Then maybe you’d like to explain all of THESE!”
With that, he sharply tugged the nigh-invisible string on Hercule’s top, creating a small hole in the internal left pocket. As soon as it had appeared, dozens of capsules fell out from the destroyed pocket, causing the crowd to gasp once again as their hero became surrounded in a pool of the minuscule devices. Mr. Satan looked down at the pile in horror, then he slowly shifted his gaze back toward his legion of fans, who were all staring at him in wait for an explanation. An awkward silence pierced through the area, causing Hercule to begin sweating at an even heavier rate.
“Well? Come on. Don’t keep your fans waiting. Tell them why you were patting your shirt like that if you weren’t trying to search for one of those capsules.” Joseph suggested, a shit-eating grin on his face as he watched Mr. Satan stutter nervously in search of an explanation. Surprisingly enough, the conman did manage to get out an explanation, though it was certainly one that caught even JoJo off guard.
“Oh, don’t try to give me that crap!” Mr. Satan said, his expression contorting into an accusatory glare as he pointed at Joseph. “It’s obvious you were the one who put them in there when you went for that shot to my crotch!” This gave way to another period of silence, one that went on for what seemed like an eternity. Then, as if his brain had finally comprehended the utter stupidity of his opponent’s words, Joseph exploded.
“WHAT?!” He screamed furiously. “Just how the hell did you come to that conclusion? Are you that desperate to not seem like a cheating jackass? I don’t even think your fans would believe that kind of crap!”
“Well, let’s see what they have to say!” Hercule responded, turning to face his audience. “What do you guys think? Who sounds like they’re telling the truth here: your hero, who risked his life to save all of you, or some punk that tried to smear my reputation outta jealousy and keeps going for cheap hits?”
While his opponent was busy trying to see their spectators’ responses, Joseph, seeing another gaping opening in his adversary’s defense, immediately rushed forward.
“I’ve got one even better. Instead of waiting for their approval, why don’t you try staying focused on our fight?” The Hamon master suggested, his tone one of hot-blooded fury and irritation at his opponent’s attitude. Upon hearing the Brit’s voice so close to him, Mark’s head whipped back around in shock. Before he even had the chance to make eye contact, a sudden right hook slammed into his jaw. The champ staggered back for a brief moment, but before he could fully recover, Joseph had already followed up with a left hook, this time making direct contact with his already injured nose.
“GAH! Again with the cheap shots!” Mr. Satan muttered under his breath as he continued stumbling back. With the savior of the universe now distracted, Joseph rushed forward and slipped a small present into his gi, stuffing it in the same pocket that had once held his capsules. Then, with the sharp tug of the same loose thread from before, he dove behind a nearby truck just as Hercule was beginning to recover.
“Alright, now where’d you… go?” The martial artist asked, his tone going from annoyance to confusion as a ticking sound reached his ears. Looking down, he reached into his gi and quickly pulled out what was responsible: a hand grenade. His eyes widening in fear, the champ could only speak two words before he heard a CLICK:
“Ah, crap!”
BOOM!
A brief flash of white coated the street, followed by a massive smokescreen that obscured the area. Once it faded, Joseph looked out from behind his cover, fully expecting to see that Mr. Satan had been knocked out or at least knocked back by the explosion. Instead, what he saw caused both his and the audience’s jaws to drop in shock.
“What the hell am I looking at?” He screamed in frustration. Standing before him was Hercule, his gi now reduced to tatters and his body covered entirely in soot and ash, but somehow still conscious and unmoved. In fact, all the explosion seemed to have done was left him mildly stunned, and he was quickly shrugging that off, too! ‘Alright, it seems he’s a bit tougher than I thought.’ Joseph admitted as he reached into his pocket. ‘But with how he’s still recovering, I might just have a shot at ending this now!’
With this thought in mind, he pulled out his secret weapon: a pair of metal balls held together by a string. Taking a deep breath, Joseph began focusing Hamon into the clackers, using the string as a conduit to charge both of its balls. Once they were filled to completion, the British trickster began twirling his makeshift weapon around, producing an audible crackling sound as each one flew faster and faster, quickly reaching the point where it had become a blur. Then, once he felt he’d built up enough momentum, JoJo let out a powerful scream as he hurled the clackers with all his might!
The impromptu weapon soared through the air, its trajectory currently aiming at the head of the still recovering Hercule. For a brief moment, it seemed that Joseph’s victory was close at hand, but then-
“Watch out, Mr. Satan!” A bystander in the crowd shouted, trying to warn his savior of the impending doom.
“Huh?” Hercule muttered in confusion. As he processed this warning, his ears began to pick up an unusual crackling noise, one that seemed to be growing closer with each nanosecond. Taking a brief moment to look toward the source of the sound, his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as he saw the clackers rushing toward him at blinding speeds. For a brief moment, it seemed as though the warning had been for naught, as the clackers were only a few inches from his face…
But then, in what could only be described as a stroke of blind luck, Mr. Satan managed to tilt his head at the last possible second. The clackers flew past him, only managing to lightly graze his cheek before embedding themselves into a nearby building. As he looked back at what had almost hit him, he sighed in relief. ‘Good thing that guy managed to warn me. Otherwise that thing might’ve put me outta commission!’ He thought to himself. Shifting his gaze back toward his opponent, Hercule found himself staring at an irritated Joseph and responded by giving a cocky grin.
“Oh, sorry! Was that supposed to be for me?” He asked rhetorically, gesturing toward the clackers before laughing.
“Sorry. I guess my pitch was a bit off.” The Joestar paused as he once again placed his hand in his jacket, this time pulling out two clackers. The sight of this was enough to cause Mark’s expression to falter, if only for a brief moment, and it would soon come crashing down when he saw the next part of Joseph’s attack. Taking a deep breath, the Brit once again filled his weapons with Hamon.
“But I’ve still got a few more left in me!” JoJo declared, this time pulling off a decent Bruce Lee impression as he rapidly swung the clackers around his body. He was swinging so quickly that it was nearly impossible to keep up with him! All the audience could see were vague, golden blurs darting around Joseph’s body, and then they disappeared entirely! ‘The hell? Where’d they go?’ Mr. Satan thought to himself in confusion. His eyes briefly darted around the arena, desperately searching for some sign that Joseph’s clackers were near him. Upon finding nothing, he quickly returned his gaze to JoJo, who he found was still sporting the same cocky smile on his face. ‘That can’t be good.’ Hercule thought as he continued looking around. There didn’t seem to be anything headed toward him this instant, but that would likely change soon enough!
“Well, well! Would you look at that? It seems my clackers have suddenly vanished into thin air. Or maybe I’ve used my Hamon to make them invisible?” As he said this, Joseph’s grin became larger. “I mean, I could tell you the answer, but you know what they say: ‘A good magician…’”
The brunette paused for a brief second as he flexed his muscles. The moment he did so, an audible stretching sound could be heard, followed almost immediately by a distinct SNAP!
“‘Never reveals his secrets!’” He finished as the clackers, which had previously been tied behind his back, suddenly flew forward, with Joseph releasing his grip on them mid-flight. As a result, the impromptu weapons shot toward Mr. Satan at hypersonic speeds, and while he wouldn’t be able to react in time, the World Champion still closed his eyes as he braced himself, ready to feel the inevitable pain.
One could only imagine his surprise when, rather than having his bones snapped by two steel balls, nothing seemed to happen. In fact, it was as if the clackers had disappeared into thin air!
Opening his eyes a bit, Hercule looked down at himself, only to find that he was completely unharmed. Looking back up, he found that Joseph was still sporting the same grin as before.
“Let me guess: you’ve still got something planned, right?” Satan asked.
“With how pig-headed you are, I don’t even need to plan that far ahead! I could probably outthink you even while I’m asleep!” His opponent boasted.
“Is that so?” Hercule chuckled as he pulled out a new capsule. ‘Please let this be the one I think it is!’ He prayed, pressing the cap and tossing it to the ground as it exploded into a cloud of smoke. Once it dispersed, the pill’s contents were revealed: a white jetpack with a red Capsule Corp logo plastered on its middle. At seeing this, he let out a mental sigh of relief before strapping it on.
“Then let’s see how you outthink this!” He taunted, a burst of flame emerging from the pack and sending him flying into the air.
The champ’s uproarious laughter could be heard echoing across the entire block, only stopping once he’d felt he hit the peak of his ascension. Once he’d done so, he looked down and flashed JoJo a shit-eating grin.
“So whaddya plan to do about this, huh? Unless you’re hidin’ a jetpack under your sleeves, all you’ve got left are a couple- hm?” Mr. Satan’s taunt was cut off as an he began to hear a faint but all-too familiar crackling sound. Realizing what it was, he began leaning to the side in an attempt to avoid it, but unfortunately for him, it would seem luck wasn’t on his side.
From behind him, spinning at inhumanly fast speeds, were the clackers Joseph had used earlier. While the first had only served as a distraction rather than the instant KO their owner had hoped for, it seemed the newest pair would pick up its slack! In only the past few seconds, the clackers had built up an impressive amount of speed, and they only seemed to be growing with each microsecond. The metal toys would soon hit their peak, and then-
FWOOSH!
The second clacker shot forward, fully intent on slamming into either Hercule’s body or his jetpack. With the signature crackle of Hamon growing louder by the second, he proved quick to shift himself to the right, intent on avoiding an extremely painful bludgeoning.
The signature CLANG of metal colliding against metal could be heard by the entire crowd, followed by an orchestra of extinguishing flames and a sputtering engine. Despite knowing this could only mean one thing, Mark looked back at his jetpack and gave a nervous gulp at what he saw. As it turned out, the clackers had struck with enough force that one of the jet’s thrusters had shattered, now reduced to hundreds of metal shards and debris. ‘Ah crap!’ Hercule thought to himself, followed by a high-pitched, girly scream as he began descending through the air. In a desperate attempt to prevent himself from slamming back-first onto solid concrete, he began rapidly smacking his fist against the remaining thruster. By the fifth punch, the thruster had come to life, though it had come at a price. While its flames had managed to save him from being injured, its newfound lack of balance had led to him darting all over the place, hanging on for dear life as he tried to find a safe spot to let go. He expected this would happen soon, but it seemed fate was not on his side. The thruster shot him through the air at a downward angle, and with it he found himself hurtling toward the one spot he hadn’t wanted to be in: directly toward Joseph. To make matters worse, the Brit had somehow managed to arm himself with a sledgehammer. JoJo brought both arms back, almost as if he was some sort of baseball player, and then- once Hercule was close enough- he swung as hard as he could!
KRACKT!
The hammer slammed into Hercule’s face, striking with enough force that his nose audibly broke. This pain was enough to make him release his grip on the thruster, and without any support the champion was sent crashing into one of the many buildings behind Joseph. Quickly recovering, he noticed that he was now upside down, as he was now viewing both Joseph’s smug grin and the audience’s surprised expressions through the gap between his spread legs. Placing both feet against the ground, he wasted no time in hopping back up, repositioning himself so that he’d land upright. As he took a brief moment to check his now broken nose, Mr. Satan heard Joseph call out once again.
“So is there anything left for you to embarrass yourself with, or are you ready to hold up to your end of the bargain?” Turning to face him, the martial artist’s expression soured as he met JoJo’s infuriating grin. “After all, I’d be glad to keep humiliating you like this, but I also wouldn’t mind getting back to the table before my lunch gets cold!”
“Well, if you’re feeling hungry, then maybe you won’t mind tasting a sample of my Megaton Punch!” Mr. Satan offered as he ran forward at top speed, emphasizing the sentence with a straight punch that slammed right into Joseph’s cheek. For a brief moment, the champ grinned, but this would soon falter into a look of shock as Joseph powered through the punch and glared at him furiously.
“Uh… I mean, it was just a suggest-” Mark’s attempt at defending himself was cut short as his would-be target retaliated with his own attack, this one being a left hook accompanied by his clackers.
CRACK!
The moment it made contact, Hercule stumbled back, clutching at the newfound head injury. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t concentrate enough to push through the pain, and his attacker really wasn’t helping matters.
With each second that passed, the frequency with which Joseph swung his clackers would continue to increase. His arms couldn’t even be seen at this point, but Mr. Satan could still feel each one make contact. At this point the champ wasn’t sure if Joseph was just trying to knock him out or actually kill him, but either way he didn’t intend to find out!
In a desperate attempt to turn the tides of battle, Mr. Satan performed his trademark Dynamite Kick, slamming his foot directly into JoJo’s stomach. Though this seemed to have no effect, it proved to be part of the plan as the battered celebrity kicked off of his adversary’s body.
With the grace of a swan, Hercule flipped through the air, just barely avoiding Joseph’s latest hit. While still in midair, he reached into his gi and, in a surprising burst of speed, threw out the first weapon he could grab: a Game Boy. The handheld Nintendo console smacked its British target in the face, causing him to briefly stagger back. Before his opponent could even recover, Mr. Satan pulled out a detonator and quickly pressed against its button. The Game Boy flashed a bright white, and then-
BOOM!
It burst open into a massive explosion that sent the Joestar skidding back. With this gaping window of opportunity before him, Hercule wasted no time in rushing forward and once again unleashed a rapid combo of punches and kicks. Unlike before, however, this time he was using his full strength for each blow. After what had happened last time, there was no way he’d let Joseph recover! ‘In fact, he’s not gonna pull one over on me anymore! This little charade of his ends right now!’ Hercule thought to himself as he lunged forward, intent on finishing the battle with a full-powered uppercut. The fist was mere inches from JoJo’s face, but it was then that something unexpected happened!
Just when it seemed that the uppercut was about to make contact with his face, Joseph, with the aid of his Hamon-enhanced reflexes, leaned to the side. The fist brushed past his cheek, moving so slowly that it gave him plenty of time to deliver a counter attack. With this knowledge in mind, the Hamon user threw out his own arm, focusing the Sun-like energy through the limb to form a-
“ZOOM PUNCH!”
-that launched it forward, causing it to elongate like rubber and send Mr. Satan rocketing back. Once he felt the technique had hit its peak in length, Joseph grabbed the celebrity by his gi and dragged him back at hypersonic speeds.
“What? How did you-“ Hercule struggled to ask, still trying to catch his breath from the Hamon-infused sucker punch.
“At this point, you should realize what the answer is, but just in case I’ll give you one last demonstration! Hooooooh….” Joseph took a deep breath, causing Hamon to begin rippling all throughout his arm. Once he felt he had gathered enough, the Brit’s gaze steeled as he declared “Take this! Hamon Overdrive!”
With inhumanly fast speed, he struck the prone celebrity with an energy-enhanced karate chop to throat. The moment it made contact, Mr. Satan could only let out a strangled series of gasps as he felt something enter into his body.
It was hot, almost to the point of overwhelming him, and it was beginning to make his body audibly crackle. Its influence spread with each passing nanosecond, raising his body temperature by several degrees and causing him to break out into a cold sweat. His vision was beginning to blur, and dozens of spots were dancing around in his vision. His clothes had become damp with sweat, and at this point there was so much heat building up that he felt he was going to explode! The energy inside of him reached its peak, and then it just seemed to… stop.
In what could only be described an anticlimax, all of the pent-up energy seemed to leave Hercule’s body, though this wasn’t a cause for celebration. He seemed to be paralyzed, almost as if his entire body had gone fully numb, and he couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried!
“Wh-what’s going on here? What did that gold crap of yours do to me?” He asked, his tone confused and slightly fearful as he looked at Joseph, whose eyes now shone with a mischievous glint.
“Oh, that ‘gold crap’ wasn’t much, just a small jolt of Hamon into your system. It’ll only last for about a minute.” He explained, only for his grin to widen as he continued with “But that’s more than enough time for me to kick your ass with these!”
As he finished speaking, the Joestar pulled out another pair of clackers. At seeing them, Mr. Satan gulped, as he realized just what his captor was planning to do with them.
Reeling his arm back, Joseph then proceeded to quickly slam the metal balls against Hercule’s cranium, eliciting a pained grunt. Refusing to let it end there, however, he began rapidly swinging the impromptu weapon through the air, creating an orchestra of painful-sounding CLANGs and CRACKs as the clackers repeatedly collided with Mark’s skull. Joseph’s Hamon-enhanced speed ensured that he hit the opponent hundreds of times with each passing second, and each blow resulted in the martial artist either gaining another bruise or losing more blood. To Hercule, it felt like this intense bludgeoning would go on for eternity, but it would soon come to an end as his attacker reeled his weapon back.
“And now for the grand finale!” Joseph shouted triumphantly as he took a deep breath, injecting more of the Sun-like energy into his clackers. Then, once they’d been filled to the brim, he swung as hard as humanly possible!
CRACK!
The weapon made contact with Satan’s skull one final time, hitting with enough force that its target was sent hurtling through the air! Then, with all the subtlety of a falling piano, Hercule slammed into the ground, producing a massive crater beneath his muscular form.
Upon feeling solid ground beneath him, the bloodied and battered conman attempted to place his hands against the ground, tried to push himself back up, to do anything! But no matter how much he exerted himself, it seemed he couldn’t budge an inch.
“C-come on already! Move, dammit!” He muttered, still trying to fight the inevitable. While in the middle of doing this, however, he noticed a massive shadow looming over him and slowly looked up. The moment he did so, Hercule found himself staring at the grinning mug of Joseph, who leaned over and quickly lifted the celebrity into the air.
“I’ll give you this, Hercule, you’re a pretty stubborn bastard, but even you should realize when you’re outmatched!” He announced. Upon hearing this, Mr. Satan grunted as he tried to move once more, but after a few seconds he sighed and let his body go limp.
“Alright, kid. Ya got me. I give.” He responded dejectedly.
“Great! Now, about that deal of ours…”
“Deal?”
“Come on!” Joseph said, sounding somewhat playful as he twisted Mark’s body around. “Are you telling me you actually forgot the whole reason we started this fight in the first place?”
Hercule stared at the audience, who all looked back at him with expressions of astonishment, disappointment, or disbelief.
“Oh, right. Our deal…” He muttered dejectedly as Jimmy Firecracker approach the two former rivals. Making matters worse was that the cameraman was directly behind, ready to film the champ’s confession to the entire world.
‘Well, I guess my fifteen minutes of fame were fun while they lasted.’ The former celebrity thought to himself as Jimmy pointed the mic at his face, ready to begin another interview. Much like before it would be covering Hercule’s career, but now it was focusing on a different subject: his soon-to-be-plummeting downfall.
—
And true to his namesake, Mr. Satan falls from grace!
To put it bluntly, this match wasn’t even close. In fact, it’s one of the biggest stomps I’ve written so far, probably even more than Scrooge McDuck vs Mr. Krabs. Strength-wise, Hercule caps out at Wall Level due to chopping 14 tiles in half, and given that he wasn’t hurt by doing this, it would also scale to his durability. By contrast, Joseph would be City Block Level due to fighting against the Pillar Men. The Pillar Men are naturally above vampires, among which include Phantom Blood Dio, who tanked this cruise ship’s explosion.
Speed also goes to Joseph, as he’s been able to react to a beam from the Red Stone of Aja, a feat calculated to be 2.324 times FTL. In fact, he’s likely faster since he’s been able to keep up with Kars, who can react to a UV beam at anywhere from 9.6 – 41.71 times FTL. So Joseph takes the stat trinity pretty handily. What about everything else?
Experience goes to Mr. Satan since outside of being the older of the two, his constant attendance in martial arts tournaments put him above Joseph, but only by a slight margin. Intellect and strategy both go to Joseph, since he’s often shown using his mind to analyze opponents for weaknesses and exploiting the environment to his advantage. In fact, given that he’s used this strategic mindset to overpower more experienced opponents, Hercule’s experience advantage ultimately didn’t matter. Unlike his opponent, Mr. Satan’s only ever used his mind to think up lies and pull off simple tricks on the Dragon Ball populace, most of whom are complete morons and nowhere near Joseph when it comes to intellect.
When it comes to arsenal, Hercule’s explosives gave him the edge in destructive capability, but Joseph countered this with his arsenal’s versatility (as seen with his Tommy gun, grenades, sledgehammer, crossbow, and clackers). Additionally, as mentioned above, his strategic mind could let him think up new weapons on the fly by exploiting the environment to his advantage. If he ever had a reason to, he could use either the Joestar Secret Technique or Near Death Survival Technique to stall for time and think up another plan. If that didn’t work, he could just bust out his ultimate weapon: the Red Stone of Aja. When combined with either the sunlight or his Hamon (which will be explained below), it would fire off a beam that moves too fast for Hercule to react (as shown in the first speed calc) and is more than strong enough to burn through him.
But Joseph’s advantages don’t end there: there’s also his Hamon. This gave him a massive edge in versatility, since he could use it to boost his physicality further (widening the stat gap in the process); heal off any damage Mr. Satan could inflict (if he ever does get damaged); boost the strength of his weapons; or he could combine its durability-negation with his vastly superior speed to one-shot Hercule.
Finally, there are their techniques, and Joseph dominates even in this department. Mr. Satan’s just got basic punches, kicks, or a combo of both. By contrast, Joseph’s Overdrive could boost the strength of his weapons (as mentioned above), or give him better long-range options by focusing it through a bottle of liquid. His Hamon Hair Attack gives him defensive options. Hamon Overdrive could burn through Mr. Satan’s body until it explodes. The Zoom Punch and Clacker Volley are both larger options for long-range, while the Clacker Boomerang is that plus an attack that gives him an edge in unpredictability. And if he was ever backed into a corner- well, I mentioned how he could use the Joestar Secret Technique and Near Death Survival Technique above.
To summarize, Hercule had the more destructive weaponry and an edge in experience, but Joseph took this due to outclassing him hard in the stat trinity, having a more strategic mind, being craftier, possessing a more varied arsenal, and being more versatile thanks to his Hamon.
Looks like Hercule’s chances of victory were nothing more than a Ripple in a pond.
The winner is Joseph Joestar.
Joseph Joestar (Winner)
+ Leagues ahead of Mr. Satan in the stat trinity + Eclipses Mr. Satan in intelligence and strategy by miles + Larger arsenal, which is only furthered by his craftiness + Hamon let him boost his stats further, gave him better versatility, and could negate Hercule’s durability + Joseph’s techniques > Hercule’s – Less experienced + But he’s used to fighting more experienced opponents – Less destructive weaponry + Though his craftiness made this a nonissue
Hercule Satan (Loser)
+ More experienced – But Joseph’s used to fighting opponents who have this advantage + More destructive weaponry – Which Joseph could counter with his craftiness – Literally everything else
As children, we are often taught the usual lessons in life: Eat your vegetables to grow stronger and healthier, you can do anything if you put your mind to it, and cheaters never win. As we grow older, however, we see the truth: a diet of vegetables won’t do jack to your fitness without proper exercise, reality and society limit our ability to act out what we truly desire in life (be it getting a job you want or buying an expensive car), and that people who lie and cheat will sometimes be more successful than you’ll ever be. And these two fighters have been able to prove that last point in spades.
Joseph Joestar, the main protagonist of Battle Tendency and 2nd JoJo in the Joestar bloodline.
And Mr. Satan, long-time champion of the World Martial Arts Tournament.
I’m Br3ndan5, and I’ll be analyzing their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Thanks to Mr-Pepsi-and-Pizza for the Hercule bio.
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Joseph Joestar Aliases: JoJo Age: 18 Height: 6’5 Weight: 213 lbs Occupation: Hamon Master First Appearance: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure – Chapter 45: Joseph Joestar of New York, Part 1 (November 2, 1987) Themes:
Feats: -Using a bottle of Coca-Cola and Hamon, took out two corrupt police officers -Defeated the newly vampirized Straizo using a Tommy gun, grenades, and a shot glass -Attempted to infiltrate a Nazi base by disguising himself as a woman -But he was quickly seen through -Within the span of a month, became a skilled Hamon user after training with his mother Lisa Lisa -Despite being starved and dehydrated, still managed to climb the 24 meter tall Hell Climb Pillar, which had previously claimed the lives of multiple Hamon trainees -Defeated the Pillar Men by using a combination of his intelligence, Hamon, and self-admitted luck –This is impressive, considering that the Pillar Men had a history of killing Hamon users, to the point where they weren’t even fazed upon hearing that Joseph could use it –-In fact, prior to their fight, Esidisi had already killed one of the few remaining Hamon users -Defeated the Ultimate Lifeform Kars by slamming him into a volcano and using the Red Stone of Aja to cause an eruption that launched both himself and the Pillar Man into space -Survived the resulting fall from the stratosphere and into the ocean -Crashed his own funeral -Caused two plane crashes
Born on September 27, 1920 to George Joestar II and Elizabeth, Joseph’s life was not a happy one. His father had been enlisted into the army to serve as a pilot during the first World War, leaving Elizabeth to care for Joseph by herself. Unfortunately, George would never return home, as during his service he discovered that one of his superior officers was actually a zombie created by the Joestar family’s arch-nemesis, Dio Brando. In an attempt to end the last remnants of Dio’s bloody rivalry with his bloodline, George attempted to kill the undead creature using the art of Hamon, but he would realize too late that he was not properly trained.
Seeking vengeance for her husband’s demise, Elizabeth tracked down the zombified officer and used her own Hamon to burn him to death. Unfortunately, she would be discovered by an officer, leading her to becoming a fugitive and forcing her to flee the country. In an attempt to prevent him from being in the same situation as his parents, Joseph would be told by both his grandmother Erina and the Joestar family friend/honorary uncle Robert E. O. Speedwagon that they had died during the war.
Years would go by, with Joseph showing exceptional usage of Hamon and often combining it with his natural wit and intellect to produce complex strategies designed to outwit his opponents. While accompanying Erina on a trip to New York, Joseph would encounter Smokey Brown, a young black man and infamous pickpocket, who he would later befriend after protecting him from a group of racist cops. During their trip, Joseph would learn from a mafioso that Speedwagon had been reported dead during an expedition in Mexico, infuriating him due to the man’s carelessness when describing it to Erina. Later that night, Joseph would find himself attacked by Straizo, an old friend of his grandfather’s who had turned himself into a vampire and was responsible for Speedwagon’s supposed death. Furious, Joseph attacked Straizo, ultimately prevailing by using a Tommy gun, 10 grenades, and a shot glass to end the vampire’s threat. Before he died, however, Straizo revealed to Joseph that Speedwagon was still alive, leading the Joestar to travel to Mexico.
While there, Joseph learned from an assassin that the Nazis had taken Speedwagon hostage and were trying to use his knowledge to awaken an ancient being called a Pillar Man. Joseph would then sneak into the base, albeit after an unsuccessful attempt at disguising himself as a woman, and confront Santana, the creature that the Nazis had awakened. After an extremely difficult fight, Joseph would eventually triumph over Santana by using the Pillar Man’s weakness to sunlight against him and free Speedwagon from his imprisonment. Unfortunately, his journey wasn’t done yet, as he would later discover that the Nazis had unearthed three more Pillar Men, all of them set to awaken at any time. In an attempt to stop this, Joseph would team up with Caesar Zeppeli, a fellow Hamon user and descendant of Will A. Zeppeli, and together they would begin training under Lisa Lisa, a Hamon master who would later reveal herself to be his mother.
Strength: -Should be City Block Level due to trading blows with the Pillar Men, who are above Phantom Blood Dio -Phantom Blood Dio was durable enough to survive the explosion of a cruise ship -Shoved his fist into a police officer’s nose with enough force that he ripped through it, removing several teeth in the process -Using a Tommy gun as a bludgeon, knocked the vampire Straizo through a window -Broke the noses of two Nazi guards with a kick -Managed to climb the infamous Hell Climb Pillar despite spending the entire trek (which lasted 61 hours and 9 minutes) without any food, water, or rest -Can hold himself up with only two fingers -Tore Santana in half -Poked through Esidisi’s hand -Chopped through one of Kars’ bone blades with his bare hands -Kept Lisa Lisa from falling to her death by holding onto her -Can be further boosted by his Hamon (See “Powers and Abilities” below)
Agility: -Tends to perform acrobatics on a daily basis -Performed an aerial cartwheel to escape Esidisi’s grip -Pole-vaulted to avoid being crushed by Wamuu’s chariot -Somersaulted while sliding under a wave of oil -Has performed corde lisse tricks against Kars
Speed: -Faster than Light to Faster than Light+, as he could avoid this laser from the Red Stone of Aja and was able to keep up with Kars, who can react to a beam of ultraviolet light -Fired off a Hamon-infused bottle cap in the time it took for a cop to pull the trigger on his gun -Intercepted a punch from a mafia henchman and placed a coat hanger in his place -Avoided Straizo’s Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, which can move at Hypersonic speeds -Stuck 12 grenades onto Straizo’s scarf without him noticing -Caught a falling war hammer using the ring on his finger
Durability: -City Block Level via scaling to his strength -Shrugged off being shot in the shoulder by Straizo’s Space Ripper Stingy Eyes -Shrugged off being stabbed by multiple cactus needles -Allowed himself to be absorbed by Santana -Santana’s a Pillar Man, whose cells secrete a digestive acid that dissolves whatever it touches down to a cellular level -Was thrown by Santana into the metal ceiling of a Nazi lab hard enough to dent it -Shrugged off being stabbed through the hand -Came out unscathed after being caught near the explosion of a stick grenade -Took Caesar Zeppeli’s Bubble Launcher to the face -Survived having his wrist slit by Wamuu -Took a metal crossbow ball to the side -Shrugged off a weakened Divine Sandstorm -Even when weakened, Divine Sandstorm is still extremely destructive -Was slammed into a stone wall by Wamuu’s severed hands with enough force to crack it -Took part of Wamuu’s Atmospheric Rift attack -Piloted a German warplane at over 200 mph and was unaffected by the harsh winds -Was repeatedly bitten by multiple piranhas -Fell out of the aforementioned plane while it was still in flight -The only reason he wasn’t crippled was because Stroheim broke his fall -Stood inside of an erupting volcano -Endured burns from Kars’ powered-up Hamon, which is said to be as hot as the Sun -Was launched into the upper atmosphere by an erupting volcano -Survived a fall from the upper atmosphere all the way down to the ocean -Keep in mind he was trapped on a rock while this was occurring, meaning he should’ve died on impact –In addition to this, he had been willing to die at that point, but something inside of him activated at the last second, pushing him to keep going
Stamina: -Spent the entirety of his test on the Hell Climb Pillar (which lasted 61 hours and 9 minutes) without any food, water, or rest -Managed to take on Wamuu despite bleeding out from the wrist -Kept fighting despite massive amounts of blood loss from having his arm amputated
Intelligence: -Joseph’s most defining trait -Is easily one of the most intelligent characters in the franchise, to the point where he’s been able to defeat physically superior or more experienced opponents through craftiness alone -Can deduce even the most minute details on someone just by a simple glance
Skills:
Cunning and Clever: -Constantly analyzes his opponent both in and out of battle -Is able to improvise weaponry and exploit the environment to his advantage -Was able to outwit the Pillar Men, who are over a millennia old and possess great intelligence -Defeated Santana by tricking him into falling into a well and holding him above the water long enough for the Sun to rise -Defeated Esidesi, who matched him in intellect and craftiness, by using a rope trick to distract him and forcing Hamon into the Pillar Man’s body -Sabotaged Wamuu’s chariot by placing rubble under its wheels while he and the audience were distracted -Beat Wamuu in a chariot race by channeling Hamon into the reigns, destroying the Pillar Man’s arms, and followed it up by throwing a bottle of oil and a Hamon-charged, burning headband at him
Dirty Fighting: -Willing to use anything he can to win a fight, no matter how underhanded it is -Will even feign cowardice or play dead if it means he can gain an advantage
Expert Motorcyclist: -Can expertly drive a motorcycle
Expert Pilot: -Despite having no prior training, he was able to pilot military aircraft with ease
Personality: -Is hotheaded, impetuous, and confrontational -Aside from his grandmother Erina and his mother Lisa Lisa, he holds no respect toward any authority figures, being willing to threaten policemen and mafioso alike -Enjoys taunting his enemies in order to aggravate them -Enjoys outsmarting his opponents with his schemes -Believes anything is fair game in a fight, provided one isn’t needlessly cruel -Has a tendency to flirt with women, often commenting on their voluptuousness and good looks -Will become pissed-off if his intelligence is insulted in any way -Is a huge fan of Superman comics
Weapons and Equipment:
Grenades: -Used 10 of them to blow Straizo to kingdom come
Tommy Gun: -Used to riddle Straizo with bullets -If emptied, Joseph can charge it with Hamon and use it as a bludgeon
Motorcycle: -Should be able to go at about 200 mph -Can use it to run people over
Clackers: -A pair of metal spheres held together by a string -Can be used as makeshift nunchucks, bolas, or a bludgeon -Can increase their strength by conducting Hamon through them -Used in conjunction with his Hamon to pull off the Clacker Volley technique (See “Techniques” below)
Wool Hat: -Used against Esidesi by unraveling it and using its strings to form a net -Can conduct Hamon into it to weaken his captive
Sledgehammer: -Used during the chariot race against Wamuu -Was slathered in oil to make it conduct Hamon, further boosting its striking power
Crossbow: -An ancient, heavy crossbow used while fighting Wamuu -Drawstring is extremely difficult to pull back and possesses heavy recoil -Can increase the power of its iron balls by charging them with Hamon
Red Stone of Aja: -A rare, perfect gemstone that was passed down from a Roman emperor to several warriors before ending up in the possession of Lisa Lisa -Can absorb light or Hamon and refract it a billion times, firing it in the form of a powerful laser -When used by Kars, his Hamon, which is far above Joseph’s, managed to trigger a volcanic eruption that sent him into space
Prosthetic Hand: -Built by German scientists as thanks for stopping the Pillar Men -Replaced Joseph’s left hand after it had been amputated by Kars -Likely stronger than his normal hand due to being made of metal
Anything he can get his hands on: -Thanks to his craftiness, Joseph’s been able to use things like mirrors, shot glasses, hair, a well, pasta, pigeons, icicles, pebbles, volcanoes, and even an airplane to gain the upper hand in a fight
Powers and Abilities:
Hamon: -Also called Ripple or Sendo -An ancient martial art that uses proper breathing to emulate sunlight, allowing the user to further their physicality and senses -Joseph’s senses are skilled enough that he can hear Donovan, who’s so quiet that not even bats can locate him -Can use it to heal others or himself -Jonathan, Joseph’s grandfather and a fellow Hamon user, managed to use it repair his broken neck and eject poison from his body -Can be conducted through water and metal, with earth and fire serving as gray lines -Is able to use it to walk on water or other surfaces that are difficult to walk on (like spikes) -Once used it to slide up a river of highly-pressurized oil -While it’s meant to be used against the Pillar Men and the undead, it can also be used against living beings -By focusing it into living beings, Joseph can bypass their durability and knock them out just by touching them -Has incorporated its use into many different techniques (See “Techniques” below)
Techniques:
Prediction: -Is able to accurately predict his opponent’s next words before they even say it -Done to intimidate his opponent and make their actions more predictable
Overdrive: -Joseph focuses Hamon through an object, either infusing it into said object for greater power or sending it out to strike at whatever’s on the other end
Hamon Hair Attack: -Joseph focuses Hamon into strands of hair, making them hard enough to block incoming projectiles -If he has enough strands, he can use this attack to create a barrier that’s strong enough to block bullets
Rebuff Overdrive: -Joseph charges Hamon into his elbows before delivering powerful strikes to his opponent
Hamon Overdrive: -Joseph channels Hamon into his arm and delivers a powerful chop, slowly transferring the energy into whatever was struck until it explodes
Zoom Punch: -Joseph throws his arm forward, using Hamon to stretch the joints and make it extend -While using this move, the Hamon dulls the pain of his joints breaking
Clacker Volley: -Joseph hurls a pair of Hamon-charged clackers at his opponent -Can throw them from behind his back, allowing them to ricochet off of other surfaces before hitting their target
Clacker Boomerang: -Joseph throws out two pairs of clackers into a beam or pillar behind the opponent, with one side of the first clacker lodging itself into the partition while the other side grabs onto the second pair. After a few seconds, the second pair of clackers will be launched back, hitting the opponent from behind
Near Death Survival Technique: -Joseph willingly puts his own life in danger in order to push himself past his own limits -In actuality, it’s just meant to distract his opponent while he comes up with another plan
The Joestar Secret Technique: -According to Joseph, this technique has been passed down the Joestar family line for generations -Joseph’s legs tense up for a brief moment before he takes off running at top speed -In actuality, this is just meant to stall for time while he tries to think up another plan, keeping a close eye on his surroundings for anything he can use to win –He can also use this to lure his opponent away from others -Meant as a last resort should his other attacks fail
Weaknesses: -His strategies are a huge gamble as to whether or not they’ll work -Has a tendency to be reckless and cocky -Is easily angered -Can start panicking if his opponent manages to match him in intellect and strategy -Hamon requires proper breathing in order to be maintained
(“What did you say? Depending on your answer, I may have to kick your ass!”)
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Mark “Hercule” Satan Aliases: Mr. Savage, Enfer, Master Handsome, The World’s Champion, The Champion of the Universe Height: 6’2 Weight: 208 lbs Occupation: Martial Artist, Wrestler, Martial Arts Teacher, Actor First Appearance: Dragon Ball Z: Volume 33, Chapter 393 (October 6, 1992) Theme:
Feats: -Became the Number One Martial Artist in the World -The world’s go-to guy for alien attacks -By human standards, is amazingly powerful -Was close to saving the world from Buu and didn’t even use violence -His near-death experience is the entire reason the Buu saga continued -Has lied to the world about beating Cell and Buu for years -It was thanks to him that Goku successfully used the Spirit Bomb on Buu
In the world of Dragon Ball, there are none more revered and admired by the people than the legendary martial artist known as Mr. Satan. But before he was the savior of the people, he was only known as Mark, a student of the “Satan Castle” dojo. Through a combination of his own strength and insanely good luck, Mark would eventually rise through its ranks and become the world champion of martial arts, taking on the name of his old dojo as a way of honoring it and so he could look better for the cameras.
This streak of good luck would nearly come to an end, however, when he and his master went out for a drink and wound up making fun of one guy’s hair. As it turned out, the man they’d been making fun of was the infamous Mercenary Tao, who proceeded to teach them a lesson by grievously injuring Mr. Satan and killing his master before his eyes. From that day forward, Mr. Satan swore that he would never fight someone who had a secret identity or seemed insanely strong…
…at least until a few years later, when the bio-android Cell announced to the world that he was organizing a fighting tournament and that the planet’s existence was on the line. After hearing this announcement, Hercule made his own, telling the people that he planned to challenge Cell directly. Days later, the tournament would begin, and Mr. Satan would be the first to stand up against the green-shelled threat…
As well as the first to fall. Despite this, he somehow managed to survive the events of the tournament, ultimately claiming victory and telling the entire world that he had beaten Cell single-handedly since no one else was around to witness what had actually happened. Fortunately for him, the populace proved to be easily fooled, and Mr. Satan would eventually grow to become the world’s hottest celebrity and go-to hero whenever Earth was in danger, always boosting his reputation further by taking credit for the other heroes’ work.
Physicality:
Strength: -By human standards, is amazing -Pulled 4 buses behind him with no support -Punched through one of the aforementioned buses -Ripped three giant phone books in half -Kicked pre-transformation Spopovich across and out of an arena with one shot -Broke twelve stone slabs in one chop
Speed and Agility: -His reflexes and punching speed are above-average -Was able to jump over Spopovich -Before being shot in the Buu Saga, he managed to move fast enough to disappear from view
Durability: -Survived being backhanded by Cell into a mountain, which he then fell down -Was punched “gently” by Kid Trunks, launching him across the field and into a brick wall -He still managed to get up, and put it off as him faking that loss -While in a staged “fight” against Android 18, remained conscious after she lightly tapped him on the head -Keep in mind that even her weakest slaps still have impressive striking strength behind them, as shown when she tested her strength with the same machine that Hercule himself used -While trying to drink a bottle of beer in a empty saloon, survived a shockwave from a distant explosion that leveled the building he was in at the moment
Skills and Abilities:
Martial Arts: -Trained for years -Not counting any of the Z-Fighters, is the top martial artist on earth -Can even fight in the air while using his jet pack
Luck: -His survival and some of his achievements are due to his insane luck -These include: -Cell holding back during his backhand -Kid Buu holding back his first attack -Fat Buu saving him just as Kid Buu was about to kill him
Lies and Bribery: -Good at escaping serious danger with the use of lies -His stomach hurting, for example -He’ll also try to bribe his opponent with riches in an attempt to convince them to throw the fight
Techniques:
Dynamite Kick: -One of Hercule’s signature moves -Probably very effective against humans, though it does barely anything to superhumans
Satan Punch/Megaton Punch: -Another of his signature moves
King of Dreamers: -Hits the opponent with several kicks and punches, then throws them behind himself
Dynamic Mess ‘Em Up Punch: -Punches the opponent several times, then finishes with a final punch
Rolling Hercule Punch: -Hercule rolls toward the opponent before hitting them with a powerful punch
Weapons and Equipment:
Jetpack: -Allows Hercule to fly at high speeds, and even puts him on par with some other DBZ characters in speed -Can also produce a large short-range blast of fire
45 Calibur Gun: -Nothing special about it, it’s just a gun
Game Boy Bomb: -A Game Boy which also doubles as a remote-controlled explosion
Rocks: -Will use rocks as projectiles
Mortar: -A large and powerful explosive -Has the off chance of exploding in front of him
Grenades: -Regular grenades
Bazooka: -Just a regular bazooka that Hercule carries around
Rocket Launcher: -Fires up to four rockets
Weaknesses: -Compared to other DBZ characters, is pathetic -Has no ki-based combat skills -Terrified of superhumans and ki users -Usually only resorts to firearms and explosives against extremely powerful foes -Is still human and can be killed by regular means -Getting shot for example
(“Cell, you see these pieces of busted tile on the ground? Heh, heh! Well, that’s what I’m gonna do… to your face!”)
Future Gohan Age: 23 Height: 5’9 Weight: 134 lbs Occupation: Martial Artist, Mentor First Appearance: Trunks The History – The Lone Warrior (August 11, 1992) Themes:
Feats: Pre-History of Trunks: -As a child, survived Vegeta and Nappa’s attack on Earth, ultimately playing a role in the former’s defeat -Withstood Frieza torturing him -Was the only survivor of the Z-Fighters after the rest had been killed by androids 17 and 18 -Achieved the legendary form of Super Saiyan after the Z-Fighters’ deaths -Trained by himself for 13 years with the intent of taking down the androids
History of Trunks: -Began training Trunks in the hopes that they’d be able to beat the androids together -Fought against 17 and would’ve beaten him if 18 hadn’t intervened -Saved Trunks from being vaporized -Protected Trunks when the androids bombed the Super World theme park, albeit at the cost of his left arm -Fought the androids one last time, ultimately dying after they bombarded him with a heavy barrage of ki blasts -His death gave Trunks the final push to becoming a Super Saiyan
Shin Budokai – Another Road -Was one of the warriors brought back to life by Future Elder Kai to fight against Future Buu -Removed the Z-Sword from its pedestal -Had his potential unlocked by the Elder Kai, drastically boosting his power -Assisted in the final fight against Future Kid Buu
Xenoverse 2 -Alongside the Future Warrior, teamed up to fight Future Android 16 -With the help of Trunks and the Future Warrior, defeated Mira -Chose to keep fighting the androids despite knowing that he was destined to die while doing so -With help from Time Patrol Trunks, defeated the androids -Became a mentor for the Future Warrior -Donated his energy to Trunks during the latter’s fight against Fused Zamasu
Strength: -Should at least be Dwarf Star Level due to being superior to Frieza, who was able to casually destroy Planet Vegeta in his base form; With Toei scaling, at least Solar System Level due to being superior to Frieza, who produced an explosion visible from space -Knocked Trunks away with a kick to the chin -Traded blows with 17 -Knocked Trunks out with a chop to the neck -Kicked 17 with enough force to send him crashing through a building -Slammed 18 into a roof hard enough that the building’s windows were blown out
Speed: -Faster than Light, though to what extent is unknown; With Toei scaling, Faster than Light to Beyond Massively Faster than Light due to being superior to Namek Saga Goku -While sparring, avoided multiple hits from Trunks -Avoided ki blasts and multiple blows from 17 -Intercepted a blow from 18 -Avoided multiple strikes when 17 and 18 tag-teamed him
Durability: -By scaling to his strength, at least Dwarf Star Level; At least Solar System Level with Toei scaling -Shrugged off multiple blows from 17 -Was smashed into a store window by 18 -Survived a brutal beating from 17 and 18 -Survived Super World being bombed, though it left him with a scar and an amputated left arm
Personality: -Due to the apocalyptic future he lives in, Future Gohan is more serious and aggressive than his naive, awkward, and laidback present counterpart -Is shown to be internally pained and mentally stressed after years of challenging the androids alone -In moments of peace, Gohan is shown to be much more calm and cheerful, often enjoying life for what it’s worth and even suggesting that others do the same
Weapons and Equipment:
Senzu Beans: -Mystical beans that possess great healing properties -When consumed, they fully restore his energy and physical health -Are capable of healing impalement and broken bones -Keeps them in his pouch, though he only has one or two on hand due to their limited supply
Techniques:
Ki: -A form of energy in the Dragon Ball universe -Created from Future Gohan’s own life energy -Formed using three elements: vigor, courage, and mind -Uses it for the following techniques
Flight: -Self-explanatory
Zenkai: -A genetic trait that is shared by all Saiyans -Allows the user to recover from injuries at a faster rate and grow stronger, with the latter being caused when they either heal from a near-death experience or endure a great struggle while fighting -Upon healing, a Saiyan’s body will “learn” from the experience, allowing their instincts and natural resistances to greatly improve -The more severely he’s damaged, the greater the zenkai will be
Ki Blast: -An energy wave of ki
Kiai: -Future Gohan places ki into his hand as he strikes the air, creating a powerful shockwave that strikes opponents from a distance
Invisible Eye Blast: -A kiai fired from the eyes
Super Explosive Wave: -Future Gohan charges ki inside of himself before forcing it to explode outward in the form of a massive energy sphere -Can increase its AOE by outputting more ki from his body, resulting in a variant called “Ki Explosions” Super Afterimage Strike: -Future Gohan moves around the battlefield while using afterimages to distract his opponent
Instant Rise: -Future Gohan rapidly ascends through the air, moving so quickly that he seems to teleport -Used as a way to avoid oncoming attacks
Wild Sense: -Future Gohan dodges an attack by moving swiftly before countering with a punch or kick that sends the opponent to the ground or into the air
Down Burst: -Future Gohan fires an energy sphere to the ground, creating a smokescreen that blinds the opponent
Intercept: -Future Gohan blocks his opponent’s attacks before quickly moving behind them. When they turn to face him, he delivers a powerful kick to the chin
Sonic Rush: -Future Gohan kicks his opponent away before teleporting behind them to deliver a chop, followed by a hook and a sweep kick. He then finishes by kicking them into the air before slamming them back down with an elbow strike
Masenko: -Future Gohan places both hands above the head, one in front of the other, with the palms facing the opponent and the fingers going in opposite directions. He thrusts his hands forward, calling out “MASENKO-HA!” as he fires a beam of yellow or white energy
Hyper Masenko: -A stronger, larger variant of the above
Kamehameha: -A powerful ki blast fired from both hands after being charged between the user’s palms
One-Handed Kamehameha: -Future Gohan performs several backflips to distance himself from the opponent. After doing so, he charges ki into his hand, slowly chanting the technique’s name before thrusting his arm forward and firing a blue beam
One-Handed Kamehameha mk. II: -Same as the above, but upon firing it Future Gohan pours more energy into the beam, increasing its power and prolonging the amount of time he can fire it
Fierce Combination: -Future Gohan strikes a fighting pose as he charges at the opponent and kicks them into the air. He then flies past them before roundhousing and punching them away. Before they can travel any farther, he grabs them by their ankle and shouts “Die!” as he flies downward, slamming them into the ground. Finally, he backflips away and shouts “Watch it!” before firing a Kamehameha
Tenma Defense: -Future Gohan charges his ki, using it to summon a large white barrier that either knocks opponents away or deflects attacks
Solar Flare: -Future Gohan places his hand close to the center of his face with the fingers spread toward his eyes. He then calls out the technique’s name as a white light flashes outward, blinding everyone in the surrounding area -Mainly used to gain the upper hand, make a hasty retreat, or set up a more complicated attack without fear of interruption -Never used on screen, but in the Dragon Ball Super manga Trunks says that Future Gohan taught him this move
Special Beam Cannon: -Future Gohan raises his index and middle finger to his forehead and begins charging ki between them. After a few seconds, he points them forward, producing two thin beams, one being straight and the other coiled around the first -Capable of drilling through its target, and it will explode against them should they prove too durable to pierce
Power up to the Very Limit: -Lets Future Gohan regain all of his ki while also providing a slight increase to all of his stats
Forms:
Super Saiyan: -Multiplies his base power by 50x -Evidenced by his hair and aura becoming gold, while his eyes turn green -Obtained after witnessing the deaths of the other Z-Fighters
Super Saiyan 2: -Multiplies his power by 100x -Evidenced by the front of his hair becoming spikier and his body gaining an aura of bioelectricity
Super Saiyan 3: -Multiplies his power by 400x -Drains his stamina while in use
Potential Unleashed: -Obtained after the Elder Kai performed a ritual so that he’d be able to fight Kid Buu -Greatly boosts his power, to the point where he no longer needs to go Super Saiyan -Requires constant training if he wants to maintain it
Weaknesses: -Despite his strength, he’s nowhere near as powerful as his present counterpart -Lacks the use of his left arm, which greatly hinders his abilities in combat -Has a limited supply of Senzu beans -Has a finite amount of ki -Super Saiyan forms drain him of his energy the longer he uses them -Outside of Super Saiyan, his transformations are featless -Super Saiyan 3 quickly drains him -Senzu beans have limits to what they can heal, as they can’t cure diseases or regrow severed limbs -The Future Trunks arc rendered his sacrifice worthless
(“You know you can’t win! You can’t destroy what I really am! Even if you manage to kill this body, someone even stronger would surface and take my place! Not one death will go unaccounted for, not one!”)
Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all! It’s time for a Death Battle!
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A metallic space pod crashed onto the middle of a village of Toads. The mushroom people gathered around it, some looking at it in fright and others with intrigue. Suddenly, the pod’s door snapped open, revealing its lone occupant. He had long, spiky black hair and wore black armor with brown shoulder pads. A brown monkey tail was wrapped around his waist. Raditz looked at his surroundings in disgust.
“So this planet is still intact? Dammit, Kakarot! How could you have failed such a simple mission?” The Saiyan checked his scouter to see what power levels the natives had. “Power level of 2. This should be easy.” Raditz grinned as he charged a pink ball of ki.
“Hey, what’s he doing?” A toad asked.
“Die!” Raditz shouted as he tossed the ball at a group of Toads, vaporizing them on the spot. The others began running away, causing Raditz to grin.
Peach’s Castle; An hour later
A Warp Pipe emerged from the castle floor, and a plumber jumped out of it not long after. He was dressed in red and blue, with a red M cap. This was Mario, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. He turned toward the pipe, as though expecting someone else.
Shortly after, another plumber emerged from the pipe, though he had jumped a bit too high. Luigi hit his head against the ceiling, eliciting an “oof!” before falling flat on his face as he hit hit the ground, cracking the pavement upon doing so. He managed to get back up and shook his head.
“Luigi!” Mario called out as he jumped. “Let’s-a go!”
“Okay.” His brother responded. The two made their way to the meeting room. As soon as they entered, they were greeted by Toadsworth.
“Ah! Masters Mario and Luigi! Thank goodness you’ve arrived! There’s been an urgent matter!” Mario asked what it was, speaking in vaguely Italian-sounding gibberish. “A village of toads to the east of here were suddenly vaporized! One of the witnesses said they were attacked by an armored man with long hair. We need you to find this ruffian and deal with him.”
“Oh yeah!” Mario responded, accepting the mission.
“Okie-dokie!” Luigi said as he jumped in the air.
[stop music]
Another Toad Village
Raditz grinned at his handiwork. Yet another village had been completely destroyed. There had been no one to challenge him. These mushroom people, Toads according to the files on his database, were a joke. At best they only had a power level of 5. Just as he was about to leave, his scouter began beeping as a high power level began approaching. The Saiyan turned to find the Mario Bros. Mario was glaring at him, while Luigi began cowering as soon as Raditz laid eyes on him.
“So someone’s actually decided to try and fight me? And here I thought your planet would be defenseless.” The Saiyan grinned as he began scanning the Marios. His smirk morphed into annoyance as the scouter displayed an error message upon trying to scan both.
‘Dammit! Wasn’t this thing supposed to be fixed?’ Raditz thought as he began pressing several buttons on the scouter in an attempt to fix it, but to no avail. Swearing under his breath, Goku’s brother looked both brothers in the eye and smirked once again.
“Well, it doesn’t matter what power level you are. Neither of you stand a chance against me!” He boasted.
“We’ll-a see about that!” Mario said as he pulled out a hammer and jumped forward, preparing to bring it down on the Saiyan’s head. Just as it was about to hit him, Raditz’s eyes flashed red as a dark aura momentarily covered him. Then, in a swift motion, the red-capped brother was smacked away by the Saiyan’s tail, sending him across the horizon.
“Mario!” Luigi cried out in shock.
“Don’t worry about him! You’re next, Green Man!” Raditz said as he began charging up ki in his hands. “Here’s a present for you!” He shouted as he fired a pink energy sphere. To his surprise, his Saturday Crush was cancelled out with a ball of lightning. As the smoke cleared, he saw Luigi, a pissed look on his face as electricity coursed around his body.
“Nobody hurts my bro!” The eternal understudy said as he suddenly rocketed forward, delivering a punch to the Saiyan’s jaw, knocking him back. The low-class warrior became enraged as he felt blood trickle from his lip.
“That will be the last mistake you ever make, scum. I’ll show you no mercy!” Raditz said as he flew toward the plumber.
As the Saiyan began closing in, Luigi jumped through the air, easily reaching 20 feet before descending onto Raditz’s head. He quickly backflipped off of the Saiyan before coming back down on him. The Green Thunder sprung off of him, causing the son of Bardock to growl in anger. He looked up and smirked as Luigi pulled out the Ultra Hammer. Just as the plumber brought it down, Raditz suddenly disappeared from sight, causing Luigi to hit thin air. The Green Machine looked around in confusion before noticing the Saiyan’s shadow towering over him. Before he could confront Goku’s brother, the low-class warrior elbowed him in the face. Raditz grinned as Luigi was sent flying across the burning wreckage of the village.
“Pathetic! Is that really all you could muster?” Raditz asked as he charged ki in his hands. “Double Sunday!” He shouted, firing two beams from his hands. Luigi got up and, upon seeing the beams heading toward him, pulled out a mushroom with a rock-like cap. Upon scarfing it down, the plumber’s overalls became more gray and craggy as he rushed toward the beams, turning himself into a giant boulder. Rock Luigi then rolled toward Raditz, unfazed by the Double Sunday. The Saiyan’s eyes widened in shock as he was almost bowled over, only dodging at the last second. As soon as he took to the air the boulder stopped rolling and turned back into Luigi.
Upon seeing his opponent’s transformed state, Raditz growled as he began charging ki in both hands. The low-class Saiyan then fired a rapid series of ki blasts, intent on finishing his opponent while his back was turned. Luigi turned to see each of the ki blasts heading toward him and gulped nervously before pulling out the Ultra Hammer. He then began swinging at each ki blast, batting them away and sending several toward the low-class Saiyan. Raditz quickly dodged each blast, only to get hit by Rock Luigi’s boulder form. The two fell to the ground, Luigi attempting to bowl him over while Raditz held a clean grip on the charging boulder. With a roar of determination, the Saiyan picked the rock up and threw it to the side.
The rock changed back to Luigi mid-flight, allowing the son of Bardock to rush forward in an instant and deliver a rapid series of punches and kicks before finishing his combo with a roundhouse that sent Luigi skidding across the ground. Deciding to finish his opponent now, Raditz formed two spheres of ki in his hands.
“Weekend!” He shouted as he threw his hands forward, creating a beam of pink energy that quickly approached the plumber. Luigi got back up and, upon seeing the beam heading toward him, pulled out a gray leaf. A massive explosion could be seen from a distance, and once it cleared Raditz could be seen grinning as he had finally killed the green-clad coward. Or at least that’s what he thought. Upon closer inspection, he noticed something in the epicenter: a gray statue of his opponent in a fox suit. The low-class warrior became confused before seeing Luigi change back.
“Why won’t you die?” Raditz asked angrily as he rushed toward the plumber. Luigi yelped in fright as Bardock’s eldest son flew toward him before changing back into a statue. The low-class warrior began unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks, but to no avail. If anything, the only things hurting were his knuckles from beating against solid stone, but he didn’t care. He stubbornly continued until he finally delivered a successful blow to Luigi, as the statue’s time limit finally ran out. The Saiyan then began thrashing the eternal understudy as he delivered another flurry of punches and kicks before ending with a ki-enhanced kick. Luigi was knocked away, feeling dizzy from the beating he had just taken. He eventually shook off his dizziness as he noticed his opponent had been charging up another what appeared to be another Saturday Crush. But then he noticed something: this one was larger than the previous one.
“Saturday Crash!” Raditz shouted as he fired the pink energy sphere. Luigi let the ki come near him before knocking it back with a Spin Jump. The Saiyan could do nothing but cross both arms in front of his chest to protect himself as the blast consumed him, creating a massive explosion in the process. As the smoke cleared, Raditz still floated, though he had put most of his energy into surviving the attack, leaving him exhausted.
[Stop music]
“Is that… all you… GAH!” His taunting was interrupted as Luigi rocketed toward him and slammed his head into his chest. The Green Missile proved surprisingly effective as it shattered some of the Saiyan’s armor and struck him directly, causing Raditz to spit out blood. Before he could do anything in response, he found himself repeatedly kicked in the face by Luigi’s Scuttlejump and then smashed into the ground as the Ultra Hammer made contact with his skull.
The two then landed on the ground as Raditz rubbed the back of his head in pain. Once the pain had faded, he glared at the plumber as the dark aura from before began surrounding him.
“You’ll pay for that… with your life!” He shouted as he began firing a barrage of ki blasts at Luigi. The plumber responded by pulling out a Fire Flower. Upon touching it, his outfit had changed colors once again. This time the green on his clothes became white while his overalls changed to green. Fire Luigi began countering each ki blast with fireballs, creating a massive dust cloud that separated both combatants’ vision. The separation ended when a stream of flame hit the Saiyan head-on. Rather than roasting him, Raditz had once again disappeared. Luigi knew what to expect this time, though.
“Death is near.” A voice called out from behind him. Luigi turned and held his arms in front of him just as Raditz elbowed him. He was sent skidding back a bit, but he quickly recomposed himself just as the Saiyan charged toward him, now surrounded in a fiery aura. Rather than run, however, Luigi began spinning in place with his arms outstretched.
The two brothers soon collided, with Raditz slamming himself into Luigi only to be backhanded away by the Green Thunder. Goku’s brother was first to recover as he caught himself mid-flight and rushed toward the King of Second Bananas. Picking him up off the ground, Raditz gave a wide grin before repeatedly punching the plumber in the face, finishing his combo with an uppercut that sent Luigi into the air. Before he could hit the ground, Raditz suddenly appeared in front of him and delivered an elbow to his skull, sending the eternal understudy crashing into the ground and returning him to his base form. The Saiyan grinned as he began charging up pink energy in both hands.
“Double Sunday!” He shouted as he fired two massive pink beams at Luigi. The green Mario brother got back up, woozily, just in time to see the beams heading toward him. He began panicking as he grabbed the nearest power up he could find. Just as he managed to grab one, the beam was only a few feet away before it consumed him.
[stop music]
As the Double Sunday subsided, it appeared that nothing was left of Luigi. Raditz grinned. The plumber had been a thorn in his side, but in the end he had triumphed. The Saiyan began laughing, but then a shrill BEEP from his scouter caused him to pause. Apparently, there was a high power level fast approaching. Before he could see what it was, a gloved fist struck him. Upon turning to face his assailant, his face contorted in rage. Not only had the plumber been unharmed by the attack, he had managed to adopt another form! Worse yet, this one looked completely ridiculous! His Italian opponent was now wearing puffy green overalls, a gray shirt and shoes, and his cap now had two squirrel ears on it. His arms were currently held out like a flying squirrel, allowing Raditz to see his gray membranes and tail.
Before he could make a comment about his opponent’s power-up, the low-class warrior found himself pummeled as Luigi performed multiple Spin Jumps, causing both to ascend through the air. Just as the cyclone of fists ended, Raditz felt Luigi grab his leg before spinning him around repeatedly until they became a blur. Once the plumber released his grip, the son of Bardock was sent flying into a nearby mountain, destroying it upon contact.
As the Saiyan struggled to get back up, he looked up to see Luigi, already rocketing toward him with another Green Missile. The green-clad Italian was rapidly closing in on him, and Raditz’s mind was already panicking. There was no doubt that if that hit him, he’d be a dead man! With no other options left, Raditz did the only thing he could.
“W-Wait! Please!” He screamed desperately as Luigi approached him.
[Stop music]
Surprisingly enough, the green-clad brother did as he asked, stopping mere inches from his body. Internally, Raditz breathed a sigh of relief. He’d managed to buy himself a few more seconds to live, but if he wanted to make it out completely, he’d need more than just a desperate plea for mercy. Perhaps a bargain?
“Please just spare me, and I promise I’ll leave this planet and never return!” Luigi thought about this for a second before returning to the ground.
“Okay.” He said. Raditz grinned, not out of gratitude, but because the plumber had just fallen into his trap.
[Continue music]
“YOU FOOL!” Raditz screamed as he smacked the eternal understudy with his tail, sending him flying and reverting him to base form. Just as he landed, Raditz caught back up and delivered a series of punches to the plumber’s torso. He then picked Luigi up and delivered a knee to his stomach, sending the green-clad Mario brother flying away. Upon seeing his opponent hit the ground, Raditz grinned as he began charging up all of his energy for a final attack.
Meanwhile, Luigi had managed to get back up. Breathing heavily, he looked up just in time to see Raditz preparing to throw a massive energy sphere at the ground. The plumber cried out in terror and began searching through his pockets for a power up until he found a Cape Feather. Upon touching it, a puff of smoke appeared over Luigi. Once it cleared, he took to the air, now sporting a yellow cape. As he flew toward Raditz, he noticed the ball growing in size and pulled out another power-up: a Starman.
Upon touching it, the King of Second Bananas became coated in a rainbow color as he flew toward the Saiyan. Raditz noticed Luigi heading toward him and grinned.
“You’re too late, Green Man! You made the mistake of showing mercy to a battle-hardened warrior, and now you and your entire planet will pay the price!” Raditz said before throwing the energy ball toward the plumber, intent on having it kill him first. To his surprise, Luigi flew right into it and destroyed it upon contact.
“WHAT?!” Goku’s brother exclaimed in shock as the Green Thunder rushed toward him in an intense burst of speed. Before Raditz could question what the hell had just happened, he found himself subjected to a swift beating from the invincible brother. A surprisingly long combo of punches, kicks, and spin jumps hit Raditz at full force before Luigi let up. The Saiyan attempted to retaliate with his own combo of hits, but they did nothing.
Gritting his teeth, Raditz fired a massive ki blast that consumed the plumber. His jaw dropped in shock as Luigi emerged from the smoke, not only unscathed but smirking as well. Before the low-class warrior could attempt anything else, his vision became obscured by yellow fabric and he suddenly found himself spun around repeatedly. The pattern began getting increasingly faster until Luigi finally released him, sending his captive flying across the horizon.
Luigi watched this before floating back to the ground. A puff of smoke covered him as both power ups wore off, returning him to base form.
[stop music]
Luigi wiped his brow. It was over. The Saiyan had been beaten.
Or so it had seemed.
In actuality, Raditz had been launched through the sky. A cone of fire had surrounded him, making him look like some sort of reverse comet. Eventually he managed to stop himself just as he entered the stratosphere. The son of Bardock looked at his surroundings in bewilderment. How had that green man thrown him this far? Before he could ask any further questions, however, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye: the moon! As he noticed this, a devious grin made its way onto Raditz’s face.
Back on the ground, Luigi had started walking away from the destroyed village when a loud crash suddenly made him jump in shock. He nervously turned to see what it was and let out a scream as he saw the monster in front of him.
“G-g-g-giant m-m-m-m-m-m-monkey!” He stammered fearfully. The transformed Raditz let out a savage roar as he swiped at the plumber. Luigi jumped out of the way only for the Great Ape to grab him with his other hand. The Green Thunder began panicking as he searched through his pockets for an item. As his fingers closed around the stem of a mushroom, the Oozaru brought the plumber to face level and began squeezing. Luigi screamed in pain, causing Raditz to start laughing. As he did so, however, he felt something enter his mouth.
The Great Ape fell to his knees and began gagging as he felt a toxin spread through his system, causing him to begin shrinking in size. He felt himself growing weaker with each inch and glared at Luigi, paying no attention to the vacuum cleaner currently on his opponent’s back. The ferocious ape prepared to squeeze the life from him in retaliation, but he suddenly found himself blinded by a flash of light from the Poltergust 5000. The ape covered both eyes in pain as he unintentionally dropping the plumber to the ground.
Before he could hit the ground, Luigi performed a Ground Pound, allowing him to land safely. He turned to see Raditz still recovering from the flash. Knowing the effects would wear off soon, the plumber took a massive leap across the village and pulled out a pink flower with two yellow heads. As soon as he did so, the Oozaru shook his head in rage before turning back to face the eternal understudy. Upon doing so, he felt his jaw drop in shock. Staring back at him were an army of Luigis, all of them looking back at Raditz with determination.
The shock of this sight soon left the Oozaru, as the Luigis stoic expressions caused his own to morph into one of rage. Picking up the nearest object he could find, a boulder, Raditz chucked it at the Luigis at full force. Instead of crushing the army as it was supposed to, the rock was quickly sucked toward the Poltergust of one of the front Luigis, who quickly shot it back at the massive monkey, hitting him in the snout.
The beast roared in fury as he charged up a ki blast in his mouth. As the blast gathered in his maw, one of the Luigis ran toward him, pulling out a Mega Mushroom in the process. Upon consuming it, the clone began growing in size until he finally reached the Oozaru. Just as the ape was about to fire, the giant Luigi delivered an uppercut, causing the blast to detonate prematurely in his mouth. Raditz stumbled back before roaring at his attacker and preparing to retaliate. Unfortunately for the Great Ape, the giant was quicker on the draw as he pulled out the Ultra Hammer and delivered an upward swing to Raditz’s chin, sending him into the air for a brief moment before suddenly crashing to the ground.
Just as Raditz was about to get back to his feet, he was suddenly assaulted by the rest of the Luigis, who quickly tackled him down and began beating on him with their new power-ups. Some clawed at him while wearing cat suits, others drilled their way into him repeatedly with either their own bodies or a drill they carried above themselves. Patches of fur were either burnt, frozen solid, or turned into golden coins by the flower-powered Luigis. Small welts began to form across his body as Hammer, Tanooki, and Lucky Cat Luigis all began bludgeoning him. The Saiyan’s rage grew as he endured this humiliation, and he attempted to shake them off. As he did so, one Luigi noticed the tail still moving and got an idea.
Just as it seemed like the Oozaru had finally brushed away enough of the army to stand, he suddenly felt a paralyzing shock go through his body. He looked up to see the giant Luigi gripping his tail. Before he could attempt to retaliate, the Luigi clone began swinging him around. While slow at first, he began to pick up in speed until both became a blur. When the giant finally released his grip, Raditz was sent flying several feet away. The ape began getting back up before he noticed a massive shadow above him. For a brief moment, confusion overtook the beast, and as he looked up his jaw dropped at what he saw.
Suspended several feet above him lay a MASSIVE castle, one whose size greatly overwhelmed even his own. As this shock coursed through his savage mind, the castle suddenly collapsed on top of him, crushing him underneath. Several seconds later, the castle was reduced to rubble as Raditz emerged, now incredibly pissed off. He turned to face Luigi and grinned as he saw the plumber apparently distracted by a Gamepad. The Great Ape began running toward him, only to scream as a fiery pain spread across his feet. He jumped up in pain and landed on the soft grass. He looked back to see lava where he had been running.
As the Oozaru’s savage mind attempted to process how that could have spawned, he felt something crawl on his back. He attempted to scratch at it, only to howl in pain as an electric shock go through his body. Now enraged, the giant monkey attempted to search for Luigi, believing him to be the source of all this. As he began searching, the Luigi clone on his back pulled out an N64 controller and began fiddling with it. As he did so, Raditz followed his movements, giving the copy an idea.
Raditz grunted in annoyance as his body began moving against his will, forcing him forward as the environment around him began changing. Spikes and lava spawned under his feet wherever he walked, causing him to emit high-pitched screeches of pain. Despite his attempts to fight back, the Saiyan found himself forced to continue walking forward as a cliffside came into view. Raditz attempted to muster as much self-control as he could in an attempt to stop himself, but it was in vain as he was forced to jump off of the cliff and bellyflop into a conveniently placed lake. Just as he was about to hit the water, the Oozaru’s eyes widened as the lake was seemingly erased, causing him to slam into solid rock. He emerged from the crater, rubbing his head in pain before feeling something hit him in the face.
Turning toward its direction, the Great Ape watched as several hundred Luigi clones began jumping off the cliff, all intent on converging toward him. He attempted to swat at them, but the Luigi controlling him pressed one of the triangle buttons while holding down, causing Raditz to double over in pain as he forcibly punched himself in the stomach. The pain was further increased as the Luigi army began dogpiling on him, each delivering blows with weapons they had on hand. Unable to stand the humiliation, the ape let out a roar as an explosive wave of ki burst from his body, causing the clone army to disperse.
[stop music]
Now exhausted, the Saiyan began shrinking until eventually returning to his base form. He fell to the ground and attempted to catch his breath, but the ground underneath him suddenly vanished, causing him to plummet into a pitch black void. With his energy exhausted, all Raditz could do was watch as the ground suddenly rematerialized, sealing him inside of a pitch black void.
He continued falling, his body slowly growing colder as darkness overtook his vision. It felt as though death itself loomed over him, prepared to take him at any moment.
‘Is this it?’ Raditz thought as he fell through the void. ‘Is this how I die? One of the last members of a warrior race falling to a spineless coward?’
The Saiyan clenched his fist in rage.
“No!” Raditz said aloud, his voice echoing through the void. “I will not fall here! I am a Saiyan! Low-class or not, I will not die to this scum!” A dark aura began surrounding the low class warrior as something snapped inside of him. His hair flickered slightly, becoming gold in color as his eyes briefly changed to a green color. Normally these were the signs of the Super Saiyan transformation, but the aura suddenly interfered with his transformation. The flickering form was boosted even further as his eyebrows suddenly disappeared, his hair grew until it had become longer than his own body, and the transformation finally stabilized itself. Thanks to the interference of Towa’s dark magic, Raditz had bypassed both Super Saiyans 1 and 2, skipping straight to 3. The newly transformed Super Saiyan 3 wasted no time in using his newfound power as he rocketed back toward the surface, blowing an entrance open as he approached his destination.
Once he had burst through the ground, the transformed Saiyan rushed toward the village, looking around to see where his opponent had gone. He grinned as he laid his eyes on the plumber, back currently facing him. Raditz charged toward him and delivered an elbow to his back, driving him into the ground.
“You didn’t think you’d be able to get rid of me that easily, did you?” The Saiyan asked as he kicked Luigi across the village. As the plumber ascended through the air, Raditz delivered a Double Axe Handle to his skull, slamming him into the ground with a THUD! Before his opponent could get back up, the Saiyan brought both hands together and began focusing his ki until a ball of lightning emerged from his palms.
“What? How do you know how to perform the Thunderhand?” Luigi asked in confusion. Bardock’s son smirked.
“Saiyans like myself have the ability to copy a technique just by seeing it in action.” Raditz explained. “See for yourself!” He shouted as he threw the lightning ball at the Mario brother, electrocuting him. The low-class warrior grinned in anticipation as he prepared to view the charred corpse of the plumber. To his surprise, Luigi was mostly unharmed aside from some cartoonish burn marks coating his skin and clothes.
“What the hell are you?” Raditz exclaimed in a mixture of anger, annoyance, and shock. Luigi didn’t respond, instead jumping past him before coming down onto the Saiyan’s head, sending him to the ground. Goku’s brother crouched down just as the green-clad Mario brother jumped down on him one more time, causing him to counter with an elbow strike as Luigi attempted to jump off. The plumber was knocked back slightly, allowing Raditz enough time to rush past him and elbowed him in the back. The Saiyan then rushed toward the plumber, prepared to end the fight. Luigi saw Raditz flying toward him and smirked as their battlefield was suddenly consumed in a light green void that pulled the airborne Saiyan to the ground.
‘The hell just happened?’ Raditz thought as he landed, becoming paralyzed as an electric shock coursed through his body. He shook this off as best as he could before noticing Luigi in the middle of performing some sort of… bizarre dance. The fool had given him an opening. Not willing to let this opportunity go to waste, he began to charge forward, only to realize that he was moving sluggishly. On top of that, the Super Saiyan 3 form was draining the last of his stamina, but he attempted to push himself further.
‘Just have to keep going.’ Raditz thought as he took a step forward…
And fell flat on his face. Growling, he got back up and saw Luigi glaring at him.
“You-a want to know what I am?” The plumber’s voice echoed throughout the Negative Zone as he reeled back his fist, which began crackling with electricity.
“I’m-a Luigi!” the Green Thunder threw his fist forward, delivering a blow that shattered the rest of the Saiyan’s armor. “Number…” the plumber threw a rapid multitude of punches, each one paralyzing Raditz as they made contact. The eternal understudy then reeled his fist back, coating it with electricity. “OOOOONNNNNNEEEEE!” He shouted as he leapt into the air, slamming into the Saiyan’s chin with a Super Jump Punch that launched him out of the void and into the sky.
[stop music]
Raditz screamed, his tone a combination of rage and pain as he quickly passed through the stratosphere and made his way to a new destination: the Moon. Upon making contact with the lunar satellite, the low-class warrior landed headfirst, crushing his skull while also leaving a massive L-shaped crater on the surface.
Back on Earth, Luigi sighed in relief as the Negative Zone faded from existence. After waiting for a few seconds to see if his adversary would return, the mustached plumber realized that he had beaten the Saiyan and proved quick to celebrate as he struck a victory pose.
“Wahoo! I did it!” He said enthusiastically. This celebration wouldn’t last long, however, as a voice called out from behind him.
“Luigi!” Mario called out. Luigi turned to see his brother walking over to him with several cartoonish bumps on his head.
“Mario, you’re-a okay!” Luigi said joyfully as he ran up to his brother and hugged him.
“What happened to that-a alien?”
“Well, let’s just say I took care of him. Nobody messes with you while I’m around, bro.”
“Good job, Luigi.” Mario said, patting him on the back. “Now let’s-a head back to the princess’ castle and tell her the good news.”
Okay. Show of hands if you read the prelude, who isn’t surprised by this outcome?
Honestly, this fight wasn’t even close. Raditz was noticeably braver than Luigi when it came to their attitudes toward combat, and his ability to fly in base form gave him a mobility advantage over Luigi, who needs power-ups in order to do the same. But outside of those two minor advantages, Luigi held everything else, physicality and otherwise.
Raditz may be fast enough to catch bullets and could catch Goku and Piccolo off guard, but Luigi’s speed feats far surpass him due to dodging UFO lasers that were going at faster than light speeds and being able to keep up with Bowser. In terms of strength, he FAR surpasses Raditz since he can destroy 2 million ton castles with only a kick and punch away neutron stars, which weigh 780 septillion tons at their lowest. His durability also greatly surpasses Raditz’s. While the Saiyan can take blows from Gotenks in Dragon Ball Fusions, Luigi has fought near the sun, approached the event horizon of a black hole, and withstood blows from Dreamy Bowser, a reality warper with limitless strength. Luigi’s toonforce would only further this durability, allowing him to survive whatever Raditz could throw at him.
If the fight were to shift to close quarters, Luigi could easily take on Raditz due to his superior hand-to-hand training in spite of the Saiyan’s superior combat experience.
Raditz’s transformations grant him more power, but Luigi’s power-ups and vast arsenal easily counter them. Specifically, the Copy Flower and Double Cherry could allow him to outnumber Raditz, he could turn invisible and intangible with the Vanish Flower, become immune to harm with the Starman, Rainbow Star, and Statue Leaf, his Poison Mushrooms could weaken Raditz, and the Mega Mushroom would allow him to counter the Oozaru form since it grants him superior strength, speed, and size without the loss of intelligence. There’s also the fact that Weegee has several specific weapons and power-ups that give him more advantages. The Poltergust could suck up Raditz or blind him with the Strobulb, the Wii U Gamepad could allow him to manipulate the environment to his advantage, the N64 Controller would allow him to control Raditz like a puppet, the Negative Zone could vastly weaken the Saiyan enough for Luigi to finish him off, and the Gold Flower would allow him to one-shot Raditz by transmuting him into a coin.
In the end, Raditz couldn’t do anything to prevent his crushing defeat.
The winner is Luigi.
Luigi (Winner) + Physically superior + More experienced + More athletic + Superior hand-to-hand combat + Toonforce could allow him to survive anything Raditz could dish out + Better equipment + Arsenal contains several weapons or power-ups that could one-shot Raditz + Poison Mushroom could weaken Raditz + Wii U Gamepad could allow him to manipulate the battlefield to his advantage + Could take control of Raditz using the N64 controller + Could suck up Raditz with the Poltergust or blind him with Strobulb + Could gain an advantage in numbers with either Double Cherry or Copy Flower + Could become invincible with either the Starman, Rainbow Star, or by turning into Statue Luigi + Raditz has no way to counter the Vanish Flower + Mega Mushroom grants a MASSIVE advantage in strength, durability, and size + Negative Zone could weaken Raditz to the point where Luigi could finish him off + Has fought opponents far superior to Raditz – Cowardly nature prevented him from going all out at the start
Raditz (Loser) + Braver than Luigi when it came to fighting + Flight gave him better mobility compared to Luigi’s base form – But this is mitigated by several of Luigi’s power-ups + Transformations could boost his power – But Luigi’s power-ups counter them – Everything else
For every strong and brave hero, there’s always going to be the weaker, cowardly one lagging behind. And these two brothers of famous heroes have been left in the dust for far too long.
Luigi, the younger brother of Mario.
And Raditz, the older brother of Goku.
I’m Br3ndan5, and I’ll be analyzing their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE! Also, to make things more interesting I will be using fully composite versions of both characters.
Credit to MetaWeegee for the Luigi bio and SSJ4Truntanks for the Raditz bio.
Luigi -Full Name: Luigi Mario -Born in: Brooklyn -Age: 26 -Alignment: Good -Height: 5’6 -Weight: 200 lbs -Occupation: Plumber, Savior of the world, Ghost-hunter, Demolition worker, Doctor, Former Wrestler, Casino operator -Likes: Mario (sometimes), Princess Daisy, Princess Rosalina, Bowser (rarely), Professor E. Gadd, spaghetti, recognition, etc. -Dislikes: King Boo, Mario (occasionally), villains in general, ghosts, being ignored, etc, etc. -Alias: Player 2, The Eternal Understudy, Mr. Green ‘Stache, The Green Thunder, The Green Machine, Mama Luigi -Theme:
Feats -Is one of the 7 Star Children destined for greatness -Tagged along for much of Mario’s adventures -Has helped beat Bowser multiple times as well -Has beaten Waluigi in numerous sporting events -Travels to different, deadly lands near constantly -Saved the world multiple times -Has saved Mario a total of three times (twice from King Boo, once from Bowser himself) -Which ALSO means he’s saved Mario more than Mario’s saved him! -Saved Wario from Chief Chilly once -Has braved haunted mansions against his will, multiple times -Saved Evershade Valley and also restored the Dark Moon-Beat up Dry Bowser and a gigantic Bowser with his son -Helped Mario save the universe from certain destruction, twice -Discovered The Grand Finale Galaxy -Destroyed Cackletta AND her soul -Killed the Shroob Invasion with help from the bros baby selves -Killed Elder Princess Shroob’s true form -Helped defeat Fawful Bug/Dark Star, who flooded the entire Mushroom Kingdom with darkness -Killed off Fawful/Fawful Bug… for good -Solved the mystery of Pillio Island -Defeated Antasma and Dreamy Bowser -Along with Mario and Paper Mario, saved the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser AND Paper Bowser -Saved the Sprixie Kingdom and beat Meowser -Has survived the brutal sport known as Mario Party…. by doing absoluteley nothing -Survived throughout every Smash Bros game -Aside from adventuring, is skilled in tennis, baseball, olympics, golf, etc, being debatably all-around -Also a demolition worker, doctor, and former wrestler -Played basketball with LeBron James, Shaquille O’Neal, and others (no, I am NOT fucking kidding) -Has endured being Nintendo’s whipping boy for the longest damn time -Despite constantly being in Mario’s shadow and his ridiculous abuse, he’s still up there in gaming’s most popular characters -Is the operator and manufacturer of his own casino (truth bomb)
Strength: -Physically weaker than Mario -Can crush solid brick with his bare hands (bricks made of people) -Can crush people under his feet by jumping -Even as an infant, can lift a hammer about his size and whack UFOS into the sky with a hammer -In SMB3, destroys fortresses after beating them -In SMW, lifted up and punted Larry’s castle, which weighs over 2 million tons, with ease -In SMW again, stomped Morton’s castle into the ground (all castles weigh around the same in the game) -Lifted up, supported the weight of, and even threw King Bob-omb, calculated to weigh around 32.4 tons -Is able to lift Bowser up by the tail, spin him around very quickly, and even TOSS him very high into the air -Can crush Mario into Mini Mario and vice-versa just by hammering him -Kicked the crap out of Bowser, who has MSS (Multi-Solar System) level durability -In the SMG2 final boss, Luigi knocks NEUTRON STARS into Bowser’s face to damage him. Neutron stars can weight a LOW-END of 780 septillion TONS -Can lift large/heavy enemies, like Chuckyas and Broulders -Can uproot pipes from the ground -Is strong enough to snap off a large wood support beam he’s tied to and then whack Mario over the head with it
Speed & Agility: -Faster and more agile than Mario -Can jump over 26 ft. -Can run up walls and across ceilings -Is a better and faster swimmer than Mario -Is fast enough to run on top of water briefly -Also has several jumping techniques like the Double and Triple jump -Can use his foes’ heads as springpads like his bro -Has the reflexes to hit multiple Bob-ombs back to their senders at rapid speed without missing one -Fast enough to evade lightning against Cackletta and a few other foes -Can dodge FTL UFO lasers (with a baby weighing him down) -Can outrun the Sentry Beam’s lasers -Agile enough to backflip off his opponent and land a second hit -Can fight against and even outswim the gravitational pull of a black hole -Can keep up with Bowser, who reacted to the MFTL (Massively Faster than Light) Starship Mario -Beaten several racers before -Was fast enough to catch one of Fake Bower/King Boo’s spiked balls in midair and immediately blow it right back at him with the Poltergust 3000
Durability: -Less durable than Mario -Has tanked blows from no less than Dreamy Bowser (stated in game to have unlimited strength) -Also, resisted Dreamy Bowser’s attempt to wish him and Mario out of existence (WHILE WEAKENED, no less) -In SMW, survived Roy’s over 2-million ton castle exploding right in his face -Survived an explosion that engulfed the entire stadium in Mario Power Tennis -Tanked a 3,000 foot drop from the Koopa Cruiser, and has also tanked countless other falls -In addition, he also landed face-first, AND he even got crushed by Mario -Got impaled by a hot blade in Luigi’s Mansion -Could take beatings from Fake Bowser/King Boo be it getting dowsed in fire, punched in the face, or having a spiked ball thrown into his face -Survived moon-level attacks from the Dark Star -Can survive getting his ass burnt by Mario’s Firebrand -Survived the crash of Baby Bowser’s Koopa Cruiser -Survives getting crushed by Mario’s Ultra Hammer-Survived getting flung from Peach’s castle all the way to Acorn Plains with no visible injury -Which, just to be clear, is 8 WHOLE WORLDS AWAY-In the final fight of SMG, fights incredibly close to the sun. Not in it, but close enough to fry any normal human -Can survive in extremely hot and extremely cold environments -Withstands Bowser’s flames daily -Can apparently breathe in space -In SMG2, gets within the event horizon of a massive black hole -Can survive punches from Giant Bowser in SMG2 as well (who was consuming celestial matter like stars and planets) -Withstood Mario shoulder tackling him to make him drop a star they were fighting over -And then being stabbed in the crotch with one of the pointy tips on the star
Weapons and Equipment:
Mushrooms:
Mushroom: -Luigi’s most common items -Heal him by about 30 HP -Several different types: -Super Mushroom: 50 HP -Ultra Mushroom: 125 HP -SM64DS Mushroom: Functions identically to the Mega Mushroom -If for whatever reason he shrinks, one of these will restore him to his regular size (though, worth noting that as shown multiple times, his Super Form actually IS his base form) -Can speed up Luigi’s kart; however, for obvious reasons, this will be totally useless
Rock Mushroom: -Turns Luigi into Rock Luigi -Turns into a ginormous boulder, crushing just about anything in his path -Can revert out of the boulder at will -Also reverts back upon contact with walls. -Does not protect him from Chain Chomps -Little control over rolling path
Mega Mushroom: -Turns Luigi into the colossus known as Mega Luigi -Lasts 16 seconds -Can crush just about anything in his way -Can Instant KO BOWSER! -If he causes enough carnage, 1-ups will fall from the sky -If he ground pounds, Goombas and coins will fall from the sky -Greatly reduced agility and cannot preform special jumping abilities -Regardless of what form he was in prior, reverts to base form after the time limit ends -Fails to activate in cramped spaces, but returns to his inventory Mini Mushroom: -Polar opposite of the Mega Mushroom -Turns him into Mini Luigi, greatly decreasing his size and weight -Increases agility -Combined with the weight decrease, allows him to run across water -Can run up walls and across ceilings -Drastically weaker, needing a ground pound to do the same damage his jump would -Much less durable in this state Bee Mushroom: -Turns Luigi into Bee Luigi -Grants him the ability to fly for 6 seconds, after which he needs to recharge his flight meter -However, he cannot jump as high otherwise -Allows him to climb up honeycombs -Gives him the ability to jump on lillypads that would otherwise dissipate -Returns to base form after touching water
Boo Mushroom: -Turns Luigi into Boo Luigi -Can turn invisible to pass through walls and enemies -Can float in midair -Boos will fall in love with him upon sight -When said Boos try to engage in a liplock, Luigi is revealed -Also returns to base form upon contact with a beam of light
Spring Mushroom: -Transforms Luigi into the nightmare known as Spring Luigi -Can’t even run. Just bounces straight into danger most of the time. -And you can barely even control the angle! Why….. -Well… technically makes him more agile? -A ginormous, ugly welt on an otherwise excellent game PROPELLER MUSHROOM -Transforms Luigi into Propeller Luigi -Allows him to fly high up in the air briefly, as the name implies -Slow descent afterwards -Can also drill downwards at high speed to crack someone’s skull open -Can clear clouds blocking his path
Poison Mushrooms: -Can pull out Poison Mushrooms to throw at his foes to weaken them (or at least try to)
Flowers:
Fire Flower: -Luigi’s most iconic flower -Turns Luigi into Fire Luigi -Grants Luigi traditional pyrokinesis, granting him the ability to throw orange balls of flame as potent as the same ones Mario can throw in base -Can be used as a temporary flamethrower
Ice Flower: -The icy cousin of the Fire Flower -Turns Luigi’s body into solid ice -Upgrades Luigi’s cyrokinesis to match Mario’s with the same power-up -Meaning the iceballs with this power-up reach temperatures of absolute zero, enough to stop all body work -Can use frozen people as weapons -Can cool out flames -Can also freeze water into ice just by running on it, and can even freeze lava that way -Can skate and slide on frozen lakes -Gains immunity to flame based attacks -Not quite as agile Cloud Flower: -Turns Luigi into Cloud Luigi -Can plant clouds underneath him to walk on in midair -But he can ONLY do so three times, until he resets the amount -Grabbing another Cloud Flower will give him back one cloud -In this form, can also walk on clouds Luigi couldn’t walk on in base form (even though fucking GOOMBAS can walk on said clouds) -Like the Bee Mushroom, Luigi also reverts to base form after touching water Boomerang Flower: -Turns Luigi into Boomerang Luigi -Can toss Boomerangs much like the Boomerang Bros -Up to two boomerangs can exist at the same time -Can shatter brick (though this can be argued to be a result of Luigi’s physical strength) -Can carry items and coins back to Luigi -Luigi can purposely avoid regrabbing the Boomerang, causing it to repeatedly circle and hit foes; but on each rotation, it gets slower and slower
Power Flower: -Once used, Luigi becomes Vanish Luigi, much like Vanish Mario, but with a few differences -Here, Luigi becomes invisible and is able to pass by enemies unharmed -Said enemies fail to notice him -Is not technically invincible however, being affected the same way as his base form by stuff like lava and huge falls -Can pass through walls and cages both horizontally AND vertically (Mario could only do it horizontally) -Cannot pass through ice, however -Only lasts 18 seconds Gold Flower: -Turns Luigi into Silver Luigi -Rather than turning to pure gold like Mario, Luigi turns into pure SILVER, making this qualify as a unique form in the same way as Kitsune Luigi -Can toss silver balls that turn enemies into coins and instantly kill them -Yes, it can OHKO BOWSER! -Among Luigi’s absolute best, most useful and strongest power-ups along with the Hammer Suit -Seemingly related to the Fire Flower, as after clearing his mission with one, he reverts to Fire Luigi
Copy Flower: -Arguably Luigi’s most useful flower -Causes dozens of clones to appear once used -All of which proceed to trample the opponent -Though is very difficult to do right to counteract this immense usefulness – Alternatively, each Luigi clone can arm itself with it’s own weapon, and some seem to be capable of thinking by themselves – Can then all gang up on the foe – Though the clones seem to disappear shortly afterwards
Flight-Themed Power-Ups:
Propeller Box: -A box that Luigi puts on his head -Can protect his head from harm -Once used, flies high up into the air similar to Propeller Luigi -Slow descent afterwards -Cannot use projectiles while wearing this -Can also pick it up and carry it above his head -Can preform the same Spin Drill as Propeller Luigi if you pick it up
Super Acorn: -Turns Luigi into Flying Squirrel Mario -Can glide for a huge distance before descending -Glide is more horizontal than vertical -Can spring clean up briefly -Can cling to walls -Will start to slide down after a few seconds -Spin Jump is higher, and somewhat floatier
P-Acorn: -Turns Luigi into P Flying Squirrel Luigi (real creative) -Unlimitied flight – …..But otherwise identical to Flying Squirrel Mario
P-Wing: -Known as “How to cheat old school” -In terms of actual abilities, identical to the P-Acorn Super Leaf: -Turns Luigi into Fox Luigi -Instead of resembling a raccoon like Mario, Luigi resembles a kitsune instead, but this is just an aesthetic change -Can whip foes with his tail, possessing more range than his fists -Can even bust through foes made of solid GOLD -Slows his descent down in midair -If he gains enough speed, can fly in midair -Can continue to fly for about 7 seconds P-Balloon: -Turns Luigi into a por-I mean, a flying balloon -Can float up to faraway places he couldn’t reach otherwise and evade foes -Lasts 15 seconds -Can be ended early with a ground pound Red Star: -Holds the power of the Red Lumas -Turns Luigi into Flying Luigi -Can spin in midair to activate it’s flight -Can draw in coins and other items by spinning -Reasonably easy to control -Only lasts 53 seconds, however Cape Feath -Possibly the most iconic flight power up, period -Turns Luigi into Cape Luigi -Can glide lightly across gaps -But, after a sprint, gains incredible height, and continued flight -Can fly for as long as he likes -Cape Luigi can divebomb with such force it can cause an earthquake -Doubles as a weapon -When used as such, it can reflect foes and reverse their momentum -Should reasonably be capable of reflecting projectiles like Mario’s
Suit Power-Ups:
Frog Suit: -Turns Luigi into Frog Luigi -Increases Luigi’s agility -However, has much worse mobility on the ground -Much better swimmer -Can swim in straight lines and instantly halt -Prevents him from getting eaten by Big Berthas Hammer Suit: -Turns Luigi into Hammer Luigi -Can toss Hammers much like the Hammer Bros -Two hammers can exist onscreen at the same time -Very powerful; Able to defeat enemies that most other powerups can’t -Among Luigi’s absolute best, most useful and strongest power-ups along with the Gold Flower -Can even beat Bowser! -Can duck into his shell, granting him invulnerability to flame-based attacks -However, loses the ability to slide down slopes
Tanooki Suit/Suit Leaf: -Both turn Luigi into Kitsune Mario -Accessing this form via the Statue leaf will give the form a green scarf, but this is purely aesthetic -Like the Super Leaf, is kitsune based rather than tanooki based like Mario’s -Abilities are identical to Fox Luigi -….But with one extra perk; can turn into the invulnerable Statue Luigi as well -Can still be eaten by Boss Bass, but aside from that, is completely ignored by enemies -Completely stationary, however -Reverts back automatically after approximately 8.5 seconds -Can revert back early by wishing to be human again
Penguin Suit: -Turns Luigi into Penguin Luigi -Has normal traction on ice -On icy surfaces, can slide very far like an actual penguin -Can also slide on water -Speaking of water, is a much better swimmer -More precision and accuracy and completely removes the “bounce” from his stroke -Can throw icy-cold ice balls, freezing people and being able to use them as weapons -However, they are inferior to Ice Luigi’s, being much easier to break out of and being slightly weaker
Super Bell: -Turns Luigi into Cat Luigi -Grants Mario a very powerful claw slash -Said slash can also stall in midair -Reaches top speed much faster -Can preform a downwards dive towards opponents -Can cling to walls and even climb up them
Lucky Bell: -Turns Luigi into Lucky Cat Luigi -Has the same abilities as Cat Luigi -As well as the ability to turn into Golden Statue Luigi -Similar to Statue Luigi, but is invincible and earns coins while falling
Remaining Blocks:
Cannon Box: -Another box that Luigi puts on his head -Can protect his head from harm –The ability to fire cannonballs -Said cannonballs can smash through bricks and collect coins -Can bust through walls -However, it can also kill teammates
Gold Box/Coin Block: -Again, can protect Luigi’s head from harm -Gives him money until he gets a hundred coins……. really, that’s it
Light Block: -Head protection (of course) -Can be used as a light source -Can light up dark places -Can kill ghosts via prolonged exposure
Other Power-Ups: Starman: -Turns Luigi into Invincible Luigi for 15 seconds -As the name states, is invincible during that time duration -Can kill nearly anyone on contact (including Thwomps and Bowser) -Greatly increases Luigi’s speed, and he jumps higher and farther in this form -Also increases his strength to the point where he can throw a dinosaur into orbit -Still affected the same way as in base by things like lava/poison water
Rainbow Star: -Turns Luigi into Rainbow Luigi, who is exactly identical to Invincible Luigi -However, unlike Invincible Luigi, gains an even bigger speed boost near the end of the time limit
Double Cherry: -Turns Luigi into Double Luigi -Essentially a downgraded version of the Copy Flower’s ability -Can create up to 5 clones of Luigi -Said clones are exactly identical to Luigi, doing everything he does, when he does it -The clones can’t take a lot of abuse before going down
Blue Shell: -Not to be mistaken for the Mario Kart version -Turns Luigi into Shell Luigi -Can be gained after fatally taking it from a Blue Koopa Troopa -Shell can withstand over 200 lbs of force, so it can naturally protect him from enemy attack -Makes him a faster swimmer -Can duck into his shell to preform the Koopa Troopa’s signature move; The Shell Dash -In said shell dash, can go a speeds comparable to Koopa Shells themselves, while still able to jump -Can plow straight through Thwomps and shatter brick -Can be whacked towards otherwise inaccessible blocks -However, depending on the weight, will lose the shell when he jumps
Skills and Abilities:
Toon Force: -Can pull objects from seemingly nowhere be them power ups or other objects/Items (LINK) (Volume 01) -Some how survived from being turned into a skeleton after an encounter with a “FishBone” enemy (LINK) (Though he was unable to fight afterwards) (Volume 02) -Gets flattened, re-inflated, and popped by a Goomba kicking him too hard -He ends up surviving (albeit with Yoshi quickly stitching him back together) –Survived getting his skeleton removed/ripped out of his body by Nabbit -Survived being starved to the point where his body had literally become a stick figure
Jumping: -Weegee’s signature move -Can jump over 6 feet higher than Mario -Thus, can jump over 26 feet -Uses his agility to crush foes under his feet -Is even agile enough to backflip off his foes and land a second hit -Can be used for offense as well as defense -As shown in Yoshi’s New Island, Mario can time travel by jumping. Given that Luigi is a stronger jumper than Mario, he could most likely do the same. -Not the best choice against spiky and fiery foes, however -So useful, Luigi’s incorporated his agility into a physical attack (see Super Jump Punch below) -Various other techniques, like: Wall Jump: Can kick off walls to gain height, even able to continually jump between walls. Long Jump: Leaps forward a huge distance, though doesn’t jump very high. With enough momentum, can Long Jump backwards. Power Squat Jump: After charging up, can backflip a huge distance in the air, much higher than his basic jump. Somersault:……A regular jumping somersault, which goes higher than a normal jump. After doing it, Luigi can spin down gently to the ground as shown in SM64DS to cover long horizontal distances. -Backwards Somersault: A backwards version, sacrificing vertical range for backwards distance. -Roll: Rolls forwards quickly. Can be used to perform theRolling Leap. -Side Somersault: Somersaults to the side. Double Jump: If Luigi jumps twice in quick succession, he can Double Jump. It goes slightly higher than a normal jump. Triple Jump: If Luigi performs three jumps in succession, he will flip in midair and jump even higher. Worth noting that, as shown in the SMG games, Luigi can perform a triple jump via kicking with his feet in the air similarly to his Scuttle Jump Scuttle Jump: Via kicking his feet in midair akin to the Flutter Jump, Luigi can slow down his descent, allowing him to cover greater distances horizontally and land very precisely Ground Pound: An attack in which Luigi plummets onto his opponent rear-first, stronger than his regular jump. Also, can be used while falling to prevent any damage that would have been taken.–Star Pound: If Luigi Ground Pounds quickly after doing his spin attack mentioned below, Luigi will twirl around, and home in on nearby foes like Sonic’s Homing Attack. Spin Jump: See below
Hand-to-Hand Skills: -Has very high hand-to-hand skill, being extremely technical and versatile in Smash, and knowing a lot about fighting in the RPGS (but Mario’s still more skilled) -Great at dodging and countering enemy attacks -Expert at Plumb-Fu, the deadliest martial art in the Mario universe. It makes use of using plumbing tools as weapons to great effect -Has his own fighting style that focuses on his agility, physicality, and various tools -Also uses his awkwardness and clumsiness to his advantage to make himself even deadlier -More intelligent than Mario, and is a better strategist, actually taking the time to think rather than rushing into a fight -Has a variety of physical techniques he can use, like:
Super Jump Punch: -An attack that incorporates Luigi’s jumping prowess -A purely vertical leap at the start -Goes higher than Mario’s version -But cannot move horizontally until after the jump -If the opponent is RIGHT next to Luigi when he jumps, the move will become the “Fire Jump Punch”, setting foes aflame as they rise into the sky, with immense power and a satisfying, “PING!” effect -However, if the foe is too far away or if it hits at any other time, it will just knock a single coin out of the opponent, barely causing them to even flinch, and has extremely minimal strength -If used in midair, it is easier to land the Fire Jump Punch, however, a midair Fire Jump Punch is weaker and lacks the PING effect -Gains more height if used immediately after a double jump The Fiery Jump Punch makes it easier to successfully land a Fire Jump Punch and the initial hit has slight invincibility, but the Fire Jump Punch of this version is much weaker, Luigi doesn’t jump as high (though it covers more height when used after a double jump than the origonal when used after a double jump), lacks the PING effect, and Luigi takes much longer to recover after using the move. The Burial Header eliminates the Fire Jump Punch completely; however, Luigi falls down MUCH faster, to the point where he can bury foes halfway into the ground on impact. In addition, Luigi jumps much higher at the start of the move, and he takes much less time to recover after the move
Spin Jump/Luigi Cyclone/Star Spin: -A mainstay ability of Luigi’s -MUCH stronger than Luigi’s regular jump -Can crush a Koopa into paste-shell and all -Less vertical height than his standard jump -Can grant him protection from spiky foes -Can also be used as a direct attack -Can move sideways across the ground, at a faster pace than Mario’s -Can hit up to 8 times -The final hit launches foes upwards -If he spins rapidly enough, rises in midair like Mario’s, not gaining as much height, but covering more horizontal distance -Can be “charged” by using it once on the ground to gain greater height in midair -Upon meeting Luma, this move got upgraded to also, in addition to all the previous properties, knock opponents away with one powerful hit -Can be used as a physical projectile reflector -Can smash crystals and crates -Makes Luigi swim faster -However, every time he uses it underwater, Luigi loses oxygen -However, the previous 4 traits aren’t spammable, as Luma needs a second to recharge -Height boosted by some powerups The Mach Cyclone has less horizontal mobility, but MUCH better vertical mobility in midair. Blasts opponents away with a wind effect for most of the move, but the final hit is ABSURDLY powerful. The Clothesline Cyclone has three separate hits throughout the move (also lasts less time), is much slower, and gains practically no height in midair, but is quite a bit stronger
Green Missile: -A move that involves Luigi charging up to fly forward like… a missile -Burns the opponent upon contact -If used right after jumping, Luigi gains a slight vertical boost -Can be charged for about 3 seconds to increase it’s distance and power -If he crashes into a wall, he will penetrate it and have to pull his head out -Has a 1/8 (about a 12.5%) chance of misfiring, causing Weegee to cover nearly three times as much distance as an uncharged Green Missle, also traveling much faster and with extremely high power The Floating Missile travels completely straight, making it more reliable for offense and recovery. In addition, it also charges faster. However, it is weaker than the original, especially when uncharged. The Quick Missle travels MUCH farther and travels much faster. However, it lacks traction, sliding on the ground after a miss, and it is also weaker when uncharged and misfired (though it’s marginally stronger when fully charged)
Fireball: -Luigi has limited pyrokinesis without the need of a Fire Flower -As you may have noticed already, however, he has green fire rather than the traditional color -Compared to Mario’s fireballs, are a little stronger -Has a slightly faster rate of fire as well -However, these fireballs defy gravity, traveling completely straight regardless of whether Luigi is in midair or not -Does not travel as far as Mario’s fireballs The Bouncing Fireball behaves like Mario’s, covering more distance and being affected by gravity; however, they weaken even more over time than the regular Fireballs and take slightly longer to recover from. The Ice Ball is just as it sounds; Luigi seemingly has limited cyrokinietic abilities in base form, if this move is any indication. Anyways, without the aid of an Ice Flower to boost it, it’s slower than a Fireball and Luigi needs slightly more time to throw one. However, it ultimatley covers more distance, and can freeze moderatley damaged opponents. With an Ice Flower, this move gets boosted to do everything Ice Mario’s can.
Double Kick: -Preformed by preforming his spinning attack mentioned above, then doing a long jump -If successful, preforms a strong double-footed kick (hence the name) -Just a normal Long Jump for the second half of it’s duration Thunderhand: -Taught to him by the Thunder God and Jellyfish sisters -Grants him electrokinetic/electricity manipulation abilities in base form -Luigi’s primary answer to Mario’s pyrokinetic abilities -Can charge up a ball of electricity to electrocute foes (or paralyze Mario) -Can even shoot out a ball of electricity bigger than himself -His electrokinesis can even create craters in the ground at it’s strongest. Keep in mind, real-life lightning cannot do such a feat unless very intense, thus meaning Luigi’s electricity is able to reach 30,000 degrees Celsius at it’s max! This ALSO means it can potentially have over 100,000 amps! -Can charge his punches with electricity to increase their strength, and can even electrify his own sports equipment -Not too farfetched that he could preform electrical versions of some of Mario’s flame techniques -Can even use the Thunderhand underwater without electrocuting himself!
Weapons and Equipment: Plumbing Equipment: -Still exactly what it says in the tin -Can unclog toilets, fix pipes, regular plumber stuff -Can open up sealed off Warp Pipes -Can create or fix leaks/floods -Usable to modify an irrigation system to his advantage -Can be used as battering items -Most notable, however, are his nunchunks made from two small pipes -Which are quite viable as battering items Ultra Hammer: -Upgraded from the Super Hammer -Made by the Hammerhead Bros -Luigi’s weapon of choice in hand-to-hand aside from his fists -Can smash black rocks, which are normally indestructible -Can revert Mario, Prince Peasly, and others to a miniature form, and can reverse it by crushing them again -Can also destroy a 2 million ton castle with just a few swings -Can be used for offense as well as defense -If it gets destroyed, Luigi will just put the hammerhead back on the handle -Normally ineffective against flying foes, however
Green Shell: -Just a regular Green Koopa’s shell -Can be kicked at enemies -No homing effect like Mario’s Red Shell, instead hitting random foes -Pretty sub-par strength
Spin Drill: -A drill Luigi carries above his head -Can be used to drill through planets and dirt -Can find secret areas -Of course, enemies will get killed by the drill -Cannot drill through hard or metal surfaces
Devolution Gun: -A gun that resembles a spray-painted Super Scope -Once fired, makes whoever it hits evolve backwards -For instance, humans will turn into gorillas, and people like President Koopa will revert to T-Rexes -It can even go back further and turn the target into primitive ooze -Hell, could presumably go back even further and revert them to NOTHING AT ALL…. which is actually really horrifying -Strong enough fungus can block the shots, however
Poltergust 5000 -Upgraded from the Poltergust 4000 (yes, it really does exist) -Made by Professor E. Gadd -Seems to be Luigi’s counterpart to Mario’s F.L.U.D.D. -Can pull ghosts (or objects, or people) towards it with the vacuum function, even being able to pull in gold bricks half as large as Luigi himself -Can pull in up to seven people in one go at full power – Luigi can use the Poltergust 5000 to suck up non-ghost enemies — Accidentally sucked up Toad -Suction power can match that of a tornado -If Luigi sucks up a ghost, then after sucking in their opposite direction of said ghost’s running direction for an amount of time, he can activate a Power Surge, allowing him to deal even more damage -Currently upgraded to the Super Poltergust, making it stronger and damaging foes more rapidly -Can also push objects away from Luigi and expel people out of it -Has a flashlight attached to it, which, aside from doing basic flashlight shit, has two upgrades: Strobulb: After charging up this device, Luigi flashes anyone within it’s (pretty big) radius, briefly stunning them. It can be charged to increase the blast range. Dark Light Device: In a manner similar to an ultraviolet lamp, Luigi can reveal invisible objects via flashing said object with the Dark-Light Device, after which Luigi must suck up several Spirit Balls to completely reveal them. It can also remove curses on anybody it flashes and free people from paintings. However, if used for too long, the Poltergust 5000 will overheat. -Also has three elemental medals, each of which allow Weegee to do several different things; Fire Element Medal: After sucking up a Fire Element Ghost, allows Luigi to shoot out flames like a fucking flamethrower! Can burn opponents, of course, and light up torches, as well as reveal a Flash’s heart. Ice Element Medal: Right after sucking up an Ice Element Ghost, the Poltergust shoots out ice, which can freeze water, foes, and reveal a Blue Blaze’s heart. Water Element Medal: After sucking up a Water Element Ghost, the Poltergust shoots out water, which can reveal a Tempor Terror’s heart, water plants, and do other water crap. -Though all of said Elements have finite ammo -Worth noting that Luigi was able to destroy half of a large boulder-sized moon via sucking up a falling star and shooting it back
Mole Gloves: -Increase Luigi’s digging ability and allow him to borrow/tunnel underground MUCH faster than usual -Can also easily tear through metal/underground pipes
Badges: -Luigi was able to make use of several badges to fight off a bunch of mind controlled Goombas from interfering with Mario’s fight with the Shadow Queen -One of the badges is a fart badge… -One of the badges is the “Last Stand” badge, which the user’s HP gets too low, they will only receive half the damage (rounded up) -Finally he has the “Mario Emblem” which gives him the colors of Mario as well as Mario’s strength and courage
Wii U Gamepad: -Luigi is also able to use the Wii U gamepad -In his case, he uses it to customize the environment and all the enemies in it just like “Super Mario Maker” -This includes adding spike traps, lava, harder to reach platforms, giant enemies stacked, enemies stacked up on each other, ect -He seems to be able to create strange enemy variants not founds in the games Goomba’s Shoe: -Also known as Kurbio’s Shoe -Can be attained by asking its host nicely to get out (yeah, I wish) -After killing its driver, Luigi can drive around with an immunity to spikes -Can even walk on enemies like Thwomps -Still has access to power-ups -However, he loses it after enough hits
Ice-Skate: -Aside from being yet another example of creative naming, is gained in the same way as the Goomba Shoe -Once you enter the Ice Skate, you gain greater mobility on the ice -You can also turn easier on the ice -Immunity to certain spikes -However, cannot stop, and if you bounce into a Walleye or a wall, the skate will vanish
Goomba Mask: -Makes Weegee look like his bro’s weakest enemy, which actually let’s him blend in to some (but not all) enemies -Undetected by enemy spotlights -Gives Luigi protection on the head -Will lose it upon contact with a foe
Negative Zone: -A bizarre as HELL ability that he apparently gained from being in Mario’s shadow for so long -Once initiated, a huge void with a greenish tint appears that sticks around for 17 seconds that has a variety of effects on the opponent, which include: -Drastically reduces opponent’s strength -Greatly lowers an opponent’s durability, which allows Luigi to use many of his attacks (particularly the Fire Jump Punch, which can potentially OHKO in the Zone) to great effect -Increased chance of tripping -Causes flower growth on the opponent’s head, which rapidly deals damage as long as it remains -Stuns opponents, rendering them dizzy and unable to move for a few seconds. On aerial foes, it pulls them to the ground, and they are completely unable to do anything until they land (after which they proceed to get stunned) -Uncontrollable taunting -Putting opponents to sleep -Can slow down opponents -Invincibility does not prevent any of the effects from happening -Luigi himself is unaffected save for a minor speed decrease -However, in rare cases, the opponent won’t be affected at all -At the start of the move, Luigi dances… quite weirdly, for a few seconds, during which time he cannot move, but he cannot be hit either; after the dance, he’s free to pummel his foe -The effects still linger for a while after the zone dissipates
Super Strike: Vicious Vortex: -Preformed by kicking a soccer ball into the air -Upon doing so, Luigi enters a karate pose and ferociously kicks the ball -Quite powerful -Of course, difficult to defend against Mega Strike: Thunder Luigi: -After kicking the ball in the air, uses his Thunderhand to charge up electricity (and look fucking badass!) -Can powerfully hit a soccer ball so hard, it splits into six -Simply a bitch to defend against -Speed and number of times the ball is split can be determined by when he kicks it into the air
Giga Broom: –Apparent reality warping abilities.. (skip to 3:15-3:18) -In case you missed it, he WIPES her castle out of existence -Near lack of skill USING it, though
Weaknesses: -Just…. this ungodly beast up above. Just… no. -A complete and utter coward, being scared of ghosts, koopas, goombas, his shadow, the sun, air, just about ANYTHING, basically -However, this can also serve as an advantage, as it usually makes Luigi more cautious about danger -Has also been able to overcome his fears -Loses many of his powerups after taking hard punishment -Very clumsy -Not quite as experienced as Mario -Has quite a bit of a problem with traction, sliding pretty far after coming to a stop -Cannot stop or corner as well as his bro -Has been captured a few times (but not as much as Mario has been) -If he loses his cap, his durability is reduced by half and his strength also suffers -Has been overshadowed and left behind TOO. DAMN. LONG. -As such, has a slight inferiority complex -Also seems to have jealousy, and possibly even some anger and hatred for his bro
(“Oh yeah! Who’s number one now?! Luigi!”)
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Raditz Race: Saiyan Gender: Male Age: Unknown, but older than Goku Alignment: Evil Affiliation: Saiyan Race and Planet Trade Organization First Appearance: Manga: Volume #17 “The Mysterious Warrior from Space” (1988). Anime: “The New Threat” (1989) Aliases: None Pun Name: Radish
Feats: -One shot Krillin -Dominated the combined efforts of both Goku and Piccolo -Knocked out Kid Gohan with a blow -Kidnapped Gohan -He was one of the few Saiyans who survived Planet Vegeta’s explosion -Somehow unlocked Super Saiyan 3 despite never transforming into the first 2 forms
Strength: -Strong enough to both knock out and one-shot people such as Krillin, Goku, Kid Gohan and Piccolo
Speed: -Fast enough to catch the likes of Goku and Piccolo -Dodged Piccolo’s Special Beam Cannon
Durability: -Managed to withstand Gohan’s headbutt -In Dragon Ball Fusions he can take blows from Gotenks
Endurance/Stamina: -Able to fight even when tired
Ki: -Life force energy of the Dragon Ball universe -It is formed by these 3 elements: Energy, Courage and Mind -It can be positive or negative. But it really depends on the user’s state -It is necessary to manipulate his own energy and use it outside the body -Acts as a gateway for many techniques, from energy blasts and waves, to even transformations
Moveset:
Flight: -Self-explanatory
Ki Blast: -Discharged portions of Raditz’s ki
Begone!: -A white energy wave fired with one hand
Tail Attack: -Raditz uses his tail as a whip to knock the opponent back
Double Sunday: -Raditz’s signature attack -A pink energy wave fired from both hands
Behind You!: -Raditz faces away from an opponent. When they try to attack, he counters by kicking out backwards, sending them away
Afterimage: -Raditz moves so quickly that only an image of him is left behind
I’m a Top Class Warrior!: -Elbows the opponent from behind
Saturday Crush: -A pink energy sphere fired from his right hand
Saturday Crash: -A more powerful version of the Saturday Crush
Weekend: -A stronger version of Double Sunday
Fire Somersault: -Spins around, gathering flaming ki around his body before charging forward
Mimicry: -Can copy any technique just by seeing it once
Skills: -Very to the point -Experienced fighter -Cunning to outwit his enemies by feigning cowardice to lower their guard
Forms:
Oozaru/Great Ape -Allows Raditz to increase his power X10 -The Saiyan needs to look at the Full Moon to achieve so -Becomes wild and ferocious in this form
Time Breaker: -Activated when under Towa’s dark magic -Greatly boosts his power
Super Saiyan 3: -Multiplies his power by 400x -Drains his stamina while in use
Weaknesses: -Much weaker than many DBZ characters -Very arrogant -Loses his rationality and intelligence when he becomes an Oozaru -Constantly mocks his opponents before killing them -Is extremely cowardly when facing death -Grabbing his tail will make him feel agonizing pain -Time Breaker form requires outside help -Super Saiyan 3 quickly drains him
(“I know an easy win when I see one. I’m a Saiyan. It’s what I do.”)
Martial Arts. A fighting style that requires discipline and control. It has been taught by many masters worldwide, and these two schoolgirls have received training from some of the best.
Sakura Kasugano, the Exuberant Youth.
And Videl Satan, daughter of the World Champion.
I’m Br3ndan5, and I’ll be analyzing their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Credit to goldsilverbronzekid for the Videl bio.
Sakura Kasugano Title: The Exuberant Youth Age: 16 (SFA3), in her 20’s (SFIV and SFV) Height: 5’2 Weight: 115 lbs Occupation: Martial Artist, Arcade Worker (part-time) (SFV), P.E. Teacher (Sakura Ganbaru) First Appearance: Street Fighter Alpha 2 (February 27, 1996) Themes: Height: 5’2 Weight: 115 lbs Occupation: Martial Artist, Part-Time Arcade Worker First Appearance: Street Fighter Alpha 2 (February 27, 1996) Themes:
Feats: General/Games -Learned how to perform martial arts by watching Ryu on TV -Created a better fighting style out of what she learned from Dan Hibiki -Ended Karin Kanzuki’s impressive winning streak, causing them to develop a rivalry -Aside from a victory that she admits to obtaining through luck, Karin has lost every subsequent fight they’ve had -Alongside Ken Masters, fought against M. Bison -With help from Ken and Sagat, freed Ryu from being corrupted by the Dark Hado -Started working part-time at an arcade after graduating high school -Convinced her manager to put Blanka’s hideous “Blanka-chan” dolls in the arcade machines -Sparred with Ryu to ease her mind -Starred in her own comic and manga Street Fighter Alpha: Generations -Sparred with Ryu, but lost
Street Fighter IV: The Ties That Bind -Broke into Ken’s mansion to see if he knew Ryu’s whereabouts -Managed to free Ryu from the Dark Hado’s corruption -Alongside Chun-Li, infiltrated an S.I.N. ship and defeated a group of agents
Sakura Ganbaru -In her first street fight, defeated a high-schooler street thug who stole her brother Tsukushi’s video game, ultimately defeating him with a Hadoken she threw out by accident -Entered Karin’s fighting tournament -In her first match, fought against Bahn, the pissed-off brother of one of the fallen contenders, and won in the span of a few seconds -Defeated the tonfa-wielding ninja Maki, ultimately winning through sheer determination -Made her way to the final match of the tournament, where she fought against Ken -While she ultimately lost, she managed to put up a good fight, breaking several of his ribs during the match -Befriended and named an amnesiac Cammy White -Prevented an assassination attempt on Cammy’s life by challenging her attacker, Gen -Impressed Gen due to how she utilized the Ansatsuken (a martial art used for assassination) without any negativity in her mind -Though she lost to him, Gen let her live due to being impressed by the “light” in her fists –This is impressive, given that Gen had previously been shown to have no hesitation when killing others —In fact, the discovery of this “light” was enough that it removed Gen’s desire to kill -Alongside Cammy, participated in a cage match against Zangief, ultimately ending in a stalemate -Eventually located Ryu and challenged him to a fight, ultimately pushing him into going all-out in a match that lasted for several hours and ended in a stalemate -Years later, became a P.E. teacher at her high school -Sparred with Ryu once again UDON -Hospitalized Dan as a result of their sparring match to see if she was worthy to train under him -Saved Ryu from being shot by one of Shadaloo’s agents by throwing out her first Hadoken -Tag teamed with Rainbow Mika during the wrestler’s rematch against Zangief, being the one to deliver the final blow -Defeated Dan during the preliminaries of Shadaloo’s Street Fighter Tournament -Fought against C. Viper, who had been assigned to capture her due to the latent Dark Hado in her body -Attempted to free Dan from being subjected to S.I.N’s BLECE project, but was quickly defeated by Seth -Escaped S.I.N with help from C. Viper -Convinced Rainbow Mika to visit El Fuerte’s restaurant -Helped Dan train for his televised fight against a mysterious opponent (which turned out to be a luxury sedan) –Began training under Ryu after graduating high school -Gained the attention of Akuma and briefly fought him while debating whether or not to tap into the Dark Hado -While being corrupted by the Dark Hado, surprised Guile with her strength and defeated the robot Twelve, who had copied M. Bison to the point where not even Ryu could tell he was a fake -Forced Ryu to get serious while they fought, with him ultimately winning after she lost focus due to the Dark Hado overwhelming her
Born to the Kasugano family on March 15, 1981, Sakura Kasugano first learned about the world of Martial Arts by watching the soon-to-be tournament champion Ryu participate in the widely televised World Warrior tournament. Intrigued by his fighting style, Sakura began training herself in the ways of Martial Arts and made it her goal to track Ryu down and convince him to train her. During her travels, she met the biggest joke in Martial Arts history, Dan Hibiki. Dan was currently searching for students that he could teach his worthless Saikyo-Ryu style, and he decided to challenge Sakura to see if she was worthy of training under him. Four blows and one hospitalization later, Dan agreed to train her, and soon realized was a prodigy in fighting.
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Brendan’s Versus Battles 
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