Corporations, the titans of today’s society. They dispense products like there’s no tomorrow, regardless of quality or use, all in the hopes that someone will buy it so they can line their pockets with cash. And sitting at the tops of these companies are the men in charge. Whether they’re sleazy con artists or honest businessmen, one thing’s for sure: they don’t care about you. The only thing on their mind is what’s in your wallet and how they can get you to fork it over. And none embody this sense of corporate greed more than today’s combatants.
Wario, the morbidly obese antithesis to Mario.
And Halekulani, master of the Gorgeous Shinken fighting style.
I’m Br3ndan5, and I’ll be analyzing their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Thanks to MetaWeegee for the Wario bio and Mr-Pepsi-and-Pizza for the Halekulani bio.
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Born as one of the seven Star Children said to possess “unimaginable power,” Wario’s early life was not a happy one. As an infant he was captured by the reptilian tyrant Bowser, though he was eventually freed by a group of Yoshis. After working with them for a bit, the greedy infant would eventually part ways with them to join a group of bandits.
While it’s unknown if he was ever returned to his parents, what is known is that he would grow up alongside Mario, another of the Star Children. The two would often play cops and robbers with each other, though despite Wario’s constant pleas to play the role of cop, he would only ever get his wish once. Unbeknownst to Mario, this would serve as the catalyst for their rivalry, which would only grow throughout their adulthood.
Years later, Wario, having grown extremely jealous of Mario’s fame, decided to finally take his long-awaited revenge. While Mario was busy battling the alien warlord Tatanga, Wario decided to take over the hero’s castle, claiming it as his own and hypnotizing the entire kingdom into serving him.
Unfortunately for the overweight Italian, his 15 minutes of fame weren’t destined to last, as Mario eventually discovered his treachery and decided to take his home back by force. After a hard fight, Wario was eventually forced to retreat, though he wasn’t going to give up so easily!
Despite his recent defeat, all Mario had succeeded in doing was strengthen Wario’s resolve. With the goal of obtaining his own castle in mind, Wario would begin his career in treasure hunting, searching for riches across the land so he’d have the money needed for his goal. While on this quest, however, he would meet the infamous Captain Syrup, leader of the Black Sugar Pirates. The two would constantly butt heads along their journey, with their rivalry ultimately culminating in Wario stealing all of her treasure (including a lamp housing the genie Denpu). Using the lamp, he made his wish, and Denpu would grant him an entire planet in return.
But even with an entire planet to himself, Wario’s greed still wasn’t sated. While he continued his treasure-hunting, often fighting Captain Syrup in the process, he would also begin branching out his ventures, even starting his own successful gaming company at one point! With his profits growing, Wario would set his sights on another goal: getting revenge on Mario for all those years ago. Whether it was during kart races, sports, or just straight-up hand-to-hand combat, Wario would challenge Mario, eager to rub victory in his face. Whether or not he actually succeeded in this was another matter altogether.
Note: Due to the length of Wario’s bio, I’ll just post it here: https://www.deviantart.com/metaweegee/art/Wario-flips-off-Death-Battle-with-both-hands-700921676
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Halekulani
Height: 6 ft
Weight: Unknown
First Appearance: Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo – Chapter 93: Challenger
Themes:
Feats:
-Apparently started out as a young poor child robbing off the streets
-One of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Maruhage Empire
-Considered to be the strongest member at that
-Gave Bobobo a fairly difficult fight
-Owns a world-famous amusement park, Hallelujah Land
-Survived his defeat from Bobobo and entered into Czar Baldy Bald the 4th’s grand tournament
-Defeated a high ranking guard member of the Empire
-Worked with Bobobo (to an extent) to fight the Reverse Maruhage Empire
-Apparently shares the name of a high-quality resort
Born into a life of poverty, Halekulani’s early life was not a happy one. He would often have to steal bread in order to survive, or he’d risk starving. These poor living conditions would instill in him a sense of greed and a borderline obsession with money, to the point where he even created an entire fighting style based around money.
Years later, Halekulani would join the Maruhage Empire ruled by the infamous tyrant Czar Baldy Bald III, serving as the most powerful member of its Heavenly Kings. While under the empire’s service, he would use his money to open a famous- albeit heavily costly- theme park known as Hallelujah Land, which he funded through slave labor. As part of security, Halekulani would employ a group of assassins to reign in any troublemakers and make sure his profits remained stable.
Unfortunately for Hale, this iron grip wasn’t destined to last. He would eventually hear word of Bobobo, a man who was intent on destroying the Maruhage Empire through use of his Hajike art, the Hanage Shinken. Realizing he could prove a threat, Halekulani at first attempted to have his assassins take Bobobo out, but upon their defeat he was forced to step in himself.
The two would do battle in Halekulani’s main base, the Money Castle. It was during this battle that Halekulani was pushed to his absolute limit, both physically and mentally. After enduring repeated humiliation, having his Gorgeous Shinken rendered useless, and his supposedly invincible technique being used against him, he would eventually snap and try to take Bobobo out by crushing him with his ultimate attack, the One Hundred Trillion Dollar Finale. But before Bobobo, even this failed.
As he stood, his body battered and bloodied, an astounded Halekulani found himself subjected to a life lesson from Bobobo meant to teach him what was most important in life. In the end, Bobobo revealed to him that it wasn’t money that was most important in life, it was… money.
Upon hearing this confusing message, Halekulani fell into unconsciousness, with Bobobo revealing that his answer was actually just him BSing around since he felt Hale didn’t deserve the true answer.
Sometime after Bobobo left the park, Halekulani would continue running Hallelujah Land, though he would eventually catch wind of the New Emperor Playoffs, a contest meant to decide the Maruhage’s next leader. During the tournament, he would become one of its finalists, though upon learning that the tournament was invaded by a rival group called the Reverse Maruhage Empire, he would team up with Bobobo to take down this common enemy.
Strength:
-Easily backhanded several ghosts
-Knocks around Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch like they were toys
-Can do some serious damage to Bo-bobo
-With telekinesis, held up 100,000,000 metric tons of money (See more below)
-Launched a blast of $1,000,000,000 from his hand with absolutely no recoil
-Easily smashed down a wall of ice
Speed:
-Presumably superhuman
-Can just barely react to attacks from Bobobo and Don Patch
Durability:
-Got up after an entire gondala car fell on his head
-With the added weight of Bobobo as well
-Tanked several hits from Bobobo, Don Patch, and Jelly Jiggler
-Including their Hajike attacks
-Got hit by a car
-Got hit by a bulldozer multiple times
-Was crushed by a giant game board
-Survived being exposed to 2800 decibels of sound at once
-It takes 200 decibels to kill a normal person
-Survived getting his ass handed to him by the Neo Maruhage Empire
-Survived Crimson’s Zetsuganken, which attacked his vital organs
-Withstood being submerged in a pot of boiling water
-Implied that he could survive the weight of his own One Hundred Trillion Dollar Finale
Personality:
-Obsessed with money
-Evil to his core
-Values money over everything else and considers it the ultimate power in the world
-So obsessed with money that if an attraction in his theme park isn’t making money, he will destroy it regardless of whether or not it’s still occupied
-Arrogant as well
-A bit crazy all things considered
-Slowly loses his composure if pushed into a corner
Powers:
Money Manipulation:
-Has a telekinetic control over all forms of money
-Dollars, coins, jewels, etc
-Capable of lifting over 100,000,000 metric tons of money
-His money gives off an infectious aura that instills greed in the weak-willed
-Can make paths of money on water, with the money remaining completely dry
Money Transmutation:
-By trapping someone or something in giant dollar bills, he can turn them into coins based on their monetary value
-Usually only creates one coin
-Sometimes those coins can be special
–For example, Jelly Jiggler became a Nu coin
-Victims will be turned back to normal if Halekulani is defeated
-If needed, he can turn his armor into an explosion of money
Money Empowerment:
-Can use his power to call upon all the money in a large area
-The image above is Hallelujah Land, which seems to be as large as a city
-Any money he absorbs will be added to his power and can change him into his ultimate form (See below)
Car Summoning:
-Can summon up an expensive car if he desires
Techniques:
Golden Phoenix:
-Forms a mass of money into a giant money phoenix
-Can overwhelm enemies with its size
-Immobilizes foes by drowning them in its water-like mass of money
Falling Jewels:
-Telekinetically summons several precious gems and minerals before throwing them forward
-People who react fast enough can use these gems to become fabulous looking
Coin Knights:
-Throws out coins that then form life-sized metal knights which are armed with swords
-The knights are loyal to Halekulani, but easily tricked
Death Money Sugoroku:
-Halekulani’s strongest power in his base form
-Halekulani changes the battlefield into a giant, endless board game in the middle of a black void
-Gives him the ability to fly and lets him summon a throne of money
-The object of the game is to roll the dice until you get to the goal
-There is no goal, making the game endless
-Forcibly summons his foes’ souls
-Can suck out money from their souls at will, but lets the game decide for him just for fun
-Every time he takes money from someone’s soul their bodies slowly become diamond
-Almost every space will take away a random sum of money from the player’s soul
-Some spaces will call down Halekulani to give one of the players the gift of death
-Halekulani is almost completely invulnerable in this world
-Anyone who attacks him in the game will have a large sum of money taken from their soul
-Massive damage to the board game world can make Halekulani vulnerable to attack
-If someone is aware, and strong enough, they can close the board game on Halekulani to do massive damage and bring both of them back to the regular world
Death One-Million Dollar Wing:
-Halekulani telekinetically covers the opponent in dollar bills, turning them into a coin
-As stated above, the victim will return to normal if Halekulani is defeated
Car of the Gorgeous:
-Halekulani covers a target (usually his opponent) in cash and jewels, forming a car around them
-Controls the car by using his victim’s body as a pedal
-Lacks any control over how fast the car will go
-If a victim is strong enough, they can return to normal by crashing into something, which will produce a massive explosion that damages Halekulani and destroys the car
Coin Knight Bridge:
-Halekulani flips several coins through the air, summoning a line of coin knights he can either climb or parkour off of
-If an opponent is in the coins’ crossfire, they’ll be forced to join the knights
-Used as a means of recovery if he’s falling from a dangerous height
Forms:
Ultimate Halekulani:
-Gained by absorbing a massive amount of money from the surrounding area
-Grants a massive power boost
-Adds an insane amount of jewelry to his armor
-Might make him slightly bigger
-Grants him access to the following techniques:
10 Billion Dollar Bazooka:
-Shoots a massive blast of mixed energy and 10 billion dollars
-10 billion dollars in metric tons is 10,000
-Doesn’t even budge from recoil
One Hundred Trillion Dollar Finale:
-Telekinetically draws in a massive amount of money over the battlefield before dropping it on both himself and the enemy
-It’s implied that he’d survive
-The weight of all this money combined is 100,000,000 metric tons
-Only used as a last resort
Weaknesses:
-Has an absurd obsession with money
-Goes crazy if backed into a corner
-Not a hand to hand fighter
-Paper currency-based attacks are vulnerable to powerful wind-based attacks
-His Grand Finale attack was stopped by the use of two tornadoes
-Lacking in speed feats
-Powerful individuals can resist his temptation
-Death Money Sugoroku isn’t a perfect attack
-Despite his power, he became a total jobber in Shinsetsu
(“Yes, money equals power. In fact, money is everything!”)
Brendan’s Versus Battles 