Prelude here: https://brendansversus.wordpress.com/2020/05/06/prelude-batman-vs-green-goblin/
Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all! It’s time for a Death Battle!
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Bruce Wayne sat at the BatComputer, analyzing some evidence for a case that involved a string of murders. The billionaire had spent the past few days investigating a case that was occurring throughout New York. According to the various newspapers and tabloids, there had been a string of murders with the businessmen of Oscorp and Wayne Enterprises as the victims. While the reasoning behind these murders was unknown, it was known that the victims had died in an explosion. Bruce had investigated and found that the bombs’ residue matched chemicals that were being used in the labs at Oscorp. This easily narrowed the murderer down to someone at Oscorp, but who could it have been? The motive was easy to find: anger at being forced to merge businesses with WayneTech. The agreement between the two companies had been all over the news, with various channels and articles proclaiming “OSCORP’S FUNDS DWINDLING! BOARD SUGGESTS MERGING COMPANIES!” or “HOSTILE TAKEOVER PENDING! THE END OF OSCORP?” Bruce, now aware of the killer’s motive, began to check for any suspects. Within several seconds, the billionaire had found one of the more recent articles, “OSCORP BUSINESSMEN OVERRIDE NORMAN OSBORN’S REFUSAL TO MERGE WITH WAYNETECH.” With this information in mind, Bruce got up from his seat and walked toward his Batsuit just as his butler, Alfred, had started to walk down the steps.
“I take it you’re investigating more of those murders, Master Wayne?” the butler asked.
“No, Alfred. I’m ending these murders. And I think I just found the prime suspect.”
Several minutes later
The Batmobile’s engine roared as it drove through New York toward its destination: the Osborn mansion. As he began approaching the mansion, however, Batman had noticed a vaguely bat-shaped object in the sky some distance away. Upon further inspection, he noticed there was a person standing on top of it, currently taking something out of what appeared to be a purse. The figure then tossed the object to the Batmobile, exploding as soon as it made contact. Both car and driver were thrown off-course as the heavily-armored vehicle crashed into the side of the road. With some difficulty, Batman jumped out of the hole that the explosive had created before landing on the ground. The Caped Crusader looked around, attempting to find who had attacked him. He found his answer when a bat-shaped glider suddenly landed near him, revealing its grinning occupant. The man in question was dressed in what appeared to be green body armor with a purple overshirt, gloves, and boots. He had covered his face with a green mask that had bulging, yellow eyes, and a purple stocking cap over it. While the Dark Knight didn’t know it, the man standing before him was Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin.
“Easy there, Tall, Dark, and Gothic. You shouldn’t have been speeding. Don’t you know you could have hit someone?” the Goblin asked with a grin.
“I’m busy investigating a string of murders, so if you have anything to say, spit it out.” The Dark Knight said bluntly.
“I do, in fact. You’ve caught the culprit himself red-handed.” Norman said, his grin widening.
“Then I’ll be sending you to Arkham Asylum right now.” Batman declared as he got into a fighting pose.
“I’d like to see you try!” Osborn declared as he reached into his satchel and pulled out a Pumpkin Bomb. Priming the explosive, Norman threw it toward the Dark Knight, who responded by throwing a batarang.
The two projectiles collided in the air, causing the bomb to explode prematurely and cover the street in smoke. From the smoke emerged Batman, rushing toward the Goblin and kicking him in the chest. The Caped Crusader then followed up with a barrage of punches and kicks, but before he could land his last blow, he felt the Goblin grip his wrists and deliver a headbutt that knocked him back slightly. As the billionaire was briefly disoriented, Norman grabbed him by his cape before flinging him into the wall of a nearby building, the impact causing several bricks to loosen or crack. The World’s Greatest Detective got himself back to his feet just in time to feel four razor-sharp bat-shaped blades embed themselves in his body, two in his arms and two in his chest. The Dark Knight groaned in pain just as the Goblin delivered a kick to his stomach, destroying a portion of the brick wall behind them and sending Bruce flying across the room. The Goblin laughed before walking inside.
“Well that was boring. Already out after a few love taps. Come on, Batman! Even Spider-Man on his worst days lasted longer than you. AHAHAHA- agh!” Osborn was cut off as he felt several sharp blades pierce his armor and stab into his body. The bat-shaped blades had entered his arms, legs, and stomach. These were not Norman’s blades that had previously injured The Bat. No. These were blades of Bruce’s own design, the batarangs.
“Well, I didn’t think you admired my work,” Goblin said as he pulled the batarangs out of his body and tossed them aside, “but you know what they say, imitation is the sincerest form of-“ he looked up to see that the Dark Knight had suddenly disappeared, the only evidence of his appearance being some slightly bloodied razor bats. “-flattery.” he finished before looking around in an attempt to find Batman. A cloud of smoke began to coat the room, but the Goblin was more annoyed by this than anything. He looked through the thick smoke for any sign of the Dark Knight, unaware that his opponent had suddenly dropped down behind him and kicked him to the ground. The Emerald Elf turned to confront his assailant, but he had suddenly disappeared, as though he were a mirage. He continued to look around, unaware that his opponent was only a few feet away, staring at one of the bloodstained batarangs.
“Oracle,” he spoke to a communicator in his mask, “run a test to see if anyone matches this blood sample.”
“On it.” A female voice responded. “Oh my God.” She said as the results came up.
“Who is it?” Bruce asked. A display of the medical records told him who he was currently facing. “I thought so.”
“Do you need me to do anything else?” Barbara asked.
“Send these records to the police. Have them send an investigative group to the Oscorp Mansion.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to end this.” Bruce said as he looked down at the Goblin. “One way or another.”
Back on the ground, the Green Goblin’s eyes darted around as he attempted to look past the smoke. His eyes widened in surprise as two batarangs suddenly burst from the smoke and flew toward him. His surprise quickly changed to a smug grin as he caught the projectiles mid-flight. He prepared to say something, only for the batarangs to begin beeping. Quickly realizing what they were, Norman threw the batarangs to the side as he attempted to jump out of harm’s way. Instead, the batarangs detonated prematurely, sending him flying into the floor. He got back up, groaning, before pulling out another pumpkin bomb.
“Alright, Batman, let’s see how you deal with THIS bomb!” he laughed as he primed the explosive before throwing it to the ground. Upon detonating, the bomb released a cloud of gas that quickly spread throughout the room. Batman noticed this and fired his Grapple Gun, pulling himself higher as he put on a gas mask. The Caped Crusader kept himself in the dark as he watched the Goblin search for him, activating Detective Mode to check the madman’s vitals after suffering blood loss. Surprisingly enough, he seemed to be perfectly fine, no injuries at all. The Dark Knight took note of the Goblin’s gloves, and upon scanning, found the circuitry inside appeared to work in a similar manner to a taser. Now weary of his opponent, Bruce decided the best course of action for now would be a stealth attack. As quietly as possible, Batman snuck around the Goblin before eventually dropping down on him from above and dropkicking him.
Before the Green Goblin could recover, the Bat delivered several punches to his face and stomach until delivering one last punch that caused Osborn to hit a window, shattering it. He stumbled forward before ducking under a punch from Batman and driving his fist into the Dark Knight’s stomach, sending him flying back. Norman laughed as he watched the Dark Knight’s dazed reaction.
“Well, Batman, it’s been fun, but I’m afraid you won’t be getting your man tonight.” the Green Goblin declared as he pulled out another device from his bag of tricks and threw it forward. This device appeared to be some sort of bat that began circling around the Caped Crusader. Norman laughed as he watched the Dark Knight struggle through the smokescreen before priming another pumpkin bomb and throwing it to the ground. Batman jumped through the smoke just in time to see the Goblin summon his glider. Norman turned to the billionaire and gave him a mock salute before flying away from the building. Just as Bruce attempted to follow, the pumpkin bomb exploded, causing the building around him to collapse. Osborn viewed the destruction from a safe distance before laughing as he began flying away from the wreckage.
Unfortunately for the Goblin, his opponent was not going to be defeated so easily. A grappling line shot out from the wreckage and latched itself onto the glider, pulling Batman out of the rubble and taking him for a ride. Norman felt the additional weight that Bruce was adding and looked back to find the Caped Crusader drawing closer. Before Osborn could react, the World’s Greatest Detective had delivered a brutal uppercut that caused him to stumble back. As he prepared to deliver another blow, the Goblin caught the fist in his hand and activated his Goblin Blasters, causing thousands of volts of electricity to course through Batman’s suit. Bruce fought through the pain and attempted to deliver a headbutt, only to get cut off as Norman switched his grasp from hand to neck and began squeezing.
“Well, Batman, you’ve just signed your own death warrant. You could have avoided this had you just stayed in that building, but you just had to play the hero. Now look where it’s got you. A slow, agonizing death as I squeeze the life out of you.” Norman said, emphasizing his point by applying more pressure. Just as it seemed the Dark Knight was about to finally lose consciousness, he brought both arms up before bringing them down on the Goblin’s arms, his wrist blades slicing through Norman’s armor and skin. The Goblin let out a pained screech as he dropped Batman to the ground, allowing the Caped Crusader to catch his breath before putting his plan into action.
Bruce pulled out a batarang and stabbed it into the Goblin’s heel, causing him to cry out in pain. The pain was magnified further as a screeching sound emitted from the blade, causing Osborn to cover his ears in pain. Surprisingly, the screeching appeared to increase in volume. Upon looking up, Norman saw why. A MASSIVE swarm of bats were flying toward him, their teeth bared. The president of Oscorp was mostly unaffected, save for the exposed parts of his armor, which allowed the flying mammals to bite at him. Just as the swarm was about to clear, Batman drove one foot forward as he knocked Norman off of his glider. Just as it seemed the Goblin would fall to his death, he managed to grab on at the last second, though his grip was slipping.
“Help me!” Norman said with fear in his eyes. Bruce looked at the Goblin, as though contemplating whether he should. Upon receiving no response from the Dark Knight, Osborn held out his other hand. Bruce prepared to grab onto it, but at that exact moment the Goblin’s hand slipped and he fell, screaming. Not willing to let Osborn die, Bruce jumped after him. As he drew closer, the Caped Crusader grabbed onto the Goblin and pulled out his Grapple Gun. A line shot up and latched onto the roof of a nearby building, allowing the Dark Knight to pull both of them to safety. As they landed on the rooftop, the Green Goblin began laughing.
“I knew you didn’t have it in you to let me fall.” Osborn declared, but before he could laugh any further he was cut off as Batman delivered a right hook to his face. The World’s Greatest Detective then began wailing on the Emerald Elf as he unleashed a furious combo of punches. He brought his fist forward to deliver a blow that would incapacitate the murderous millionaire, but it was caught mid-punch.
“You want to know what sets the two of us apart? You’re not willing to kill. While I, on the other hand…” Norman pressed a button on one of his gloves. Bruce turned as he heard the sound of a rocket going off. He broke the Goblin’s guard and attempted to move out of the way, but his opponent quickly recovered and forced him back down by pulling on his cape at the last second. Bruce gasped in pain as he felt the blades on the glider’s headpiece pierce through his chest. “…am more than willing to do whatever I need.” He finished as the glider drove into the ground, pinning Batman. The Dark Knight attempted to remove the glider, but his attempts were interrupted as the Goblin stepped on one of his arms, breaking it. The Caped Crusader grimaced in pain as the Green Goblin grinned. He brought his hand up to the Dark Knight’s mask and, with a swipe of his hand, removed it, revealing Bruce Wayne. Norman’s expression shifted in surprise for a moment, but he continued grinning upon seeing the true identity of his opponent.
“Well, I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting this. Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne secretly dresses up as a bat and beats up criminals every night? I mean, I always thought you had some secrets, Bruce, but I never thought it was something like this. Oh well, at least I’ve managed to kill two birds with one stone. With you out of the way, Gotham City’s crime rate’s going to rise and I’ll be watching it from your company’s headquarters.” The Goblin said as he began chuckling. His chuckling began to rise into uproarious laughter before Batman cut him off.
“That won’t happen, Osborn.” Upon hearing his name, the Green Goblin turned to the Dark Knight.
“What was that?” The Dark Knight ignored his surprised opponent and contacted Oracle.
“Oracle, have you sent the samples to the police?”
“Already done.” She responded. “The police are investigating the Oscorp mansion as we speak.”
“Good.”
“What do you mean by that? What’s good?” the Goblin asked furiously as he grabbed Bruce by his costume.
“During our fight I had my assistant analyze the samples of your blood. Once she found a match the police were notified. Right now they’re conducting an in-depth investigation of your mansion. Face it, Osborn. Even if you win this battle by killing me, you’ve only succeeded in shooting yourself in the foot in the long run.” As those words echoed through his ears, Norman’s face contorted in rage as he grabbed Bruce by the neck and held him close.
“Even if my reputation’s going under, it doesn’t mean I can’t have some fun by killing you first.” He said in an unnervingly quiet voice. Moving at a surprisingly fast speed, the Goblin removed Bruce from the glider and began choking him. The Batman’s breathing began to slow as Norman applied more pressure until his movements stopped entirely. Grinning at his handiwork, the Green Goblin picked up Bruce’s body and threw it off the building, watching it land on a car with a loud CRUNCH!
Norman looked gleefully at Batman’s corpse, his smile only faltering as he heard sirens quickly making their way to him. Within seconds several police cars and a helicopter caught up to where he was.
“Norman Osborn!” A policeman called out. “We have you surrounded! Put your hands on your head and come quietly or we will be forced to shoot!” Upon hearing this, the Goblin raised his hands in surrender, but quickly pulled out a pumpkin bomb and tossed it into the air. The bomb unleashed a narcotic gas, blocking the policemen’s view as he got back on to his glider and flew away. It would take a while, but he would have to lay low until this could blow over.
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After nearly 5 months of real life cutting into my free time, I was finally able to finish the fight. Anyway, let’s get on to why the Goblin wins this.
While both combatants are certainly formidable, and each have certain advantages that could net them the win, Goblin is superior physicality-wise due to taking on Spider-Man, and both his healing factor and superior armor would allow him to withstand everything the Dark Knight could throw at him. It doesn’t help that while Batman’s arsenal could be used to kill, it is easily trumped by Norman’s weapons and gadgets, which are designed specifically to kill.
Intelligence wise, both are pretty even, though the Goblin edges out only slightly due to his more scheming nature allowing him to study and manipulate the Dark Knight.
Though that doesn’t mean the Caped Crusader is completely screwed. His stealth could allow him to study the Goblin, and his Detective Mode could alert him to what weapons the Goblin could use. There’s also the fact that he’s had more experience in fighting hand to hand, though the Goblin’s superior durability and armor would render this moot. Though these would only delay the inevitable until the Goblin could eventually gain the upper hand.
The winner is the Green Goblin.
Green Goblin (Winner)
+Physically superior
+Better armor
+Arsenal is designed to kill
+His healing factor could let him shrug off Batman’s blows
+Slightly more intelligent
-Less experienced fighting hand-to-hand
-No way to counter Batman’s stealth or Detective Mode
Batman (Loser)
+More experienced fighting hand-to-hand
+Goblin has no way to counter his stealth
+Detective Mode could allow him to see what weapons the Goblin has on hand
-Physically inferior
-Inferior armor
-While his arsenal could be used to kill, it isn’t designed to do so
Brendan’s Versus Battles 